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booshslashhavenTitle: Love is the one thing you can't pretend
Rating: PG
Pairing: Noel/Julian
Summary: I want to be near you, but I still want the real thing
Disclaimer: Never happened, don't own, don't sue!
Word count: 817
A/N: Another songfic! xD Slightly longer than my regular drabbles, this time. Based on Love is the one thing you can't pretend by Moto Boy. I'm a bit torn though. There are parts of this that I love how they turned out, while others not so much. Okay, enough now. I'll let you make up your own mind about it. Comments are love <3
Julian is watching Noel from a distance. Watching him as he prances around, writing autographs, his face lit by the flashes of their cameras. It is the part of fame that Julian has always found uncomfortable. They say Noel steal all attention, but Julian actually likes it better this way. He puts out his cigarette and heads back inside, knowing it will be a fair while before Noel is done.
Not that the person out there really is Noel.
They had both realized after some time that it was impossible to be completely open about everything, lines had to be drawn and... Well you couldn't just let people see into every aspect and corner of your personality, right? But they couldn't come to interviews or meet the fans in character, people wanted and expected to meet the real persons behind the act. So they had compromised. Put on invisible masks, transparent façades. People would believe it was the genuine person they met, but they would never get past the surface, leaving the real Julian and Noel safe and always out of reach.
It was a matter of survival, really.
Julian hated every minute of it, and couldn't wait until the cameras or whatever were turned off so he could go back to himself. It was one thing being Howard, but this was something completely different, and he didn't like it one bit. Noel didn't seem to have the same problem. He had grown fond of his mask, and each time he was to take it off it was with increasing reluctance. Now he didn't just wear it around fans or at interviews, but whenever he got the bloody chance. It had turned into a spectacle, and Julian believed he must be the one person left not to smile and applaud the play. He didn't want the façade, he wanted the real Noel, the one underneath it all. The sensitive, intelligent, loving, worrying Noel. The one calling him in the middle of the night with panic in his voice because there are weird noises and Dee is out and can you come over please. This new Noel frightened him and made him feel uneasy. He was unpredictable and Julian felt he never knew where he had him. He was Their Noel, not His Noel. There were moments when His Noel could leave a room, and the person who returned - sometimes just a few seconds later - would be Their Noel. There wouldn't be any visible changes, no obvious and immediate difference in behaviour, but still Julian would notice it. The mask.
A good half hour later Their Noel must have decided the fans had had their fill, because he saunters into the room. His eyes are shining and there's a smug smile plastered over his face. He is still high on the attention and adoration. Julian remains seated and avoids all eye contact.
"Where are the others?"
"They left for the hotel a while ago."
"Oh."
Their Noel takes off his coat, hangs it over a chair. The next thing he is in Julian's lap, but he shrugs him off and rises to his feet, putting a few steps between him and Noel who is now sitting in the chair. For a moment there is a shade of something that Julian can almost recognize as hurt in Noel's eyes, but it's quickly replaced with a pout and a stare.
"Where are you, Noel?" Julian sounds tired.
"What you on about, you spanner? I'm right here. Have you gone blind?"
"Not you, the other one. Can you put him through, please?"
Noel furrows his brow and gets up, trying to close the distance between them, but Julian backs off again.
"Why are you doing this, Ju? Why won't you be near me?"
"I want to be near you, the real you. If you want to be this other... person around others, then that's fine by me. But can't you please put him away when it's the two of us? I don't like him, I don't understand him."
Noel lets out a jagged breath and with once the air feels different, and Julian can sense oh so very clearly that the real Noel, His Noel, is back. This time when Noel steps closer, Julian doesn't move away.
"I miss you," he says quietly.
"I miss you too."
They kiss softly, like they both are afraid that any sudden moves would startle the other. For a long moment they are completely still, breathing though each other's mouths. When they break it, Julian lets out a sigh and wraps his arms around the smaller man, who leans in against his chest.
"I'm sorry I didn't say anything earlier."
"I'm sorry I didn't listen."
"Look, I don't care how big of a twat you are around others, as long as you're straight and honest ar-" Julian starts, but is interrupted by a soft chuckle against his chest before he can finish. Julian swats Noel over the back of his head.
"Oh, shut yer face, you bender."
And a question for the mods: could there please be a "songfic" tag? And I think a "picfic" tag could come in handy as well, with the recent development of things and all.
Rating: PG
Pairing: Noel/Julian
Summary: I want to be near you, but I still want the real thing
Disclaimer: Never happened, don't own, don't sue!
Word count: 817
A/N: Another songfic! xD Slightly longer than my regular drabbles, this time. Based on Love is the one thing you can't pretend by Moto Boy. I'm a bit torn though. There are parts of this that I love how they turned out, while others not so much. Okay, enough now. I'll let you make up your own mind about it. Comments are love <3
Julian is watching Noel from a distance. Watching him as he prances around, writing autographs, his face lit by the flashes of their cameras. It is the part of fame that Julian has always found uncomfortable. They say Noel steal all attention, but Julian actually likes it better this way. He puts out his cigarette and heads back inside, knowing it will be a fair while before Noel is done.
Not that the person out there really is Noel.
They had both realized after some time that it was impossible to be completely open about everything, lines had to be drawn and... Well you couldn't just let people see into every aspect and corner of your personality, right? But they couldn't come to interviews or meet the fans in character, people wanted and expected to meet the real persons behind the act. So they had compromised. Put on invisible masks, transparent façades. People would believe it was the genuine person they met, but they would never get past the surface, leaving the real Julian and Noel safe and always out of reach.
It was a matter of survival, really.
Julian hated every minute of it, and couldn't wait until the cameras or whatever were turned off so he could go back to himself. It was one thing being Howard, but this was something completely different, and he didn't like it one bit. Noel didn't seem to have the same problem. He had grown fond of his mask, and each time he was to take it off it was with increasing reluctance. Now he didn't just wear it around fans or at interviews, but whenever he got the bloody chance. It had turned into a spectacle, and Julian believed he must be the one person left not to smile and applaud the play. He didn't want the façade, he wanted the real Noel, the one underneath it all. The sensitive, intelligent, loving, worrying Noel. The one calling him in the middle of the night with panic in his voice because there are weird noises and Dee is out and can you come over please. This new Noel frightened him and made him feel uneasy. He was unpredictable and Julian felt he never knew where he had him. He was Their Noel, not His Noel. There were moments when His Noel could leave a room, and the person who returned - sometimes just a few seconds later - would be Their Noel. There wouldn't be any visible changes, no obvious and immediate difference in behaviour, but still Julian would notice it. The mask.
A good half hour later Their Noel must have decided the fans had had their fill, because he saunters into the room. His eyes are shining and there's a smug smile plastered over his face. He is still high on the attention and adoration. Julian remains seated and avoids all eye contact.
"Where are the others?"
"They left for the hotel a while ago."
"Oh."
Their Noel takes off his coat, hangs it over a chair. The next thing he is in Julian's lap, but he shrugs him off and rises to his feet, putting a few steps between him and Noel who is now sitting in the chair. For a moment there is a shade of something that Julian can almost recognize as hurt in Noel's eyes, but it's quickly replaced with a pout and a stare.
"Where are you, Noel?" Julian sounds tired.
"What you on about, you spanner? I'm right here. Have you gone blind?"
"Not you, the other one. Can you put him through, please?"
Noel furrows his brow and gets up, trying to close the distance between them, but Julian backs off again.
"Why are you doing this, Ju? Why won't you be near me?"
"I want to be near you, the real you. If you want to be this other... person around others, then that's fine by me. But can't you please put him away when it's the two of us? I don't like him, I don't understand him."
Noel lets out a jagged breath and with once the air feels different, and Julian can sense oh so very clearly that the real Noel, His Noel, is back. This time when Noel steps closer, Julian doesn't move away.
"I miss you," he says quietly.
"I miss you too."
They kiss softly, like they both are afraid that any sudden moves would startle the other. For a long moment they are completely still, breathing though each other's mouths. When they break it, Julian lets out a sigh and wraps his arms around the smaller man, who leans in against his chest.
"I'm sorry I didn't say anything earlier."
"I'm sorry I didn't listen."
"Look, I don't care how big of a twat you are around others, as long as you're straight and honest ar-" Julian starts, but is interrupted by a soft chuckle against his chest before he can finish. Julian swats Noel over the back of his head.
"Oh, shut yer face, you bender."
And a question for the mods: could there please be a "songfic" tag? And I think a "picfic" tag could come in handy as well, with the recent development of things and all.
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no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 12:43 pm (UTC)I love it. It's so sweet, and I love that kind of need to have the 'real' Noel around. Kind of captures that anxiety they would have about their public/private life thing.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 05:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 12:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 05:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 03:35 pm (UTC)Sweet fic.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 05:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 04:01 pm (UTC)its like the feeling of getting the last cookie.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 05:17 pm (UTC)I'm not sure if I understand the likeness though, care to expound?
no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 06:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 10:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-31 01:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-02 09:24 am (UTC)