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booshslashhavenHi! This is my first post here. I've been planning this for ages, but I couldn't really think of a plot. Then I went to the Royal Albert Hall gig. Plot found. Hope you like.
TITLE - Afterparty
RATING - Bit of sex, bit of angst, nothing too heavy
PAIRING - Noel/Julian/Russell Brand
Well, he had been a bit tipsy... And on a total performance high, let's not forget that. And maybe there was something about the Royal Albert Hall, some kind of sex vibe... After all, it was named after a bloke with a genital piercing who had given Queen Victoria umpteenth children. He had felt it a bit last time he'd performed here, for the Comedy Relief thing. Yes, that had to be it. Otherwise, there was no way he'd have ended up shagging Russell. No fucking way...
' Look... Wait, wait, wait. You sure that door is locked?'
Russel lifted an eyebrow. ' What's the matter, you shy?'
' Russ, if Julian was ever to find out about this I'd be dead and so would you. Cause I'd kill you.'
' Fear not, my flower, I am the very soul of discretion. Is he the jealous type, then?'
Noel looked down at his feet, suddenly remorseful, though not remorseful enough, he noted ruefully, to quite make his erection go away. God, this would kill Julian. He was so insecure about his looks. If he thought, for a moment, that he preferred Russell to him - as if that was even possible. He liked Russell, but no way. He could no more fall in love with Russell that Russell could fall in love with him - or possibly anybody. Noel turned around to face him.
' Russ, I'm being totally serious, yeah? I wouldn't risk hurting Ju for the world.'
Russell threw him an uncharacteristically serious look. ' Do you really love him, then?'
' I worship him. My life began the day I met Ju.'
' You have the worst sex talk, you know that?'
Noel laughed. He'd actually managed to embarrass Russell, how amazing was that? Russell, who looked incredibly sexy with his eyes lowered like that. Enough talking. He moved toward him and stood on tiptoe to press his lips against his. Russell responded willingly, his tongue immediately finding its way inside Noel's mouth, his arms snaking around Noel's waist and forcefully pulling him closer. He may have looked away when they kissed on stage, though Noel wryly, but he certainly wasn't being coy now. Their erections rubbed together while Russell apparently tried to find a secret passage down his throat, not that Noel minded. He could only hope Russell was equally skillful when using his tongue a little further south. Oooh, wait. He was. Good with his fingers as well. Suddenly, Russell stood up, while simultaneously grabbing Noel's thighs and easily lifting him onto the dressing-room table. Positioning himself between Noel's widely spread legs, he swiftly undid his trousers.
' Pass us the hand lotion, will ya?'
' Romantic type, aren't you? Why don't you undress?'
' It would take ages', protested Russell. ' I need to look good for the after-party, there's no way I'll be able to put all this stuff back on right. I thought you wanted us to be discreet..'
' Fine'. Noel sighed campily. Much as he would have loved a closer look at Russell's manly chest, he did have a point. Also, he kind off wanted him right now. Ah! Lovely. Russell moved with the kind of skill that can only be acquired through long experience, each thrust precisely aimed. Shaking, his hands clamped on Russell's broad shoulders while he held him by the waist, Noel felt himself beginning to come. Russell followed soon after and they held each other for a brief moment, while their breathing returned to normal.
' Well? Shall we to the after-party?', said Russell.
A little word of advice. If you're planning to cheat on the love of your life, avoid doing so backstage after a gig attended by a veritable herd of common acquaintances - so many common acquaintances, in fact, that the event could easily have been classified as a tribal gathering of common acquaintances.
Noel had stumbled back home much too drunk to care, but when he awoke the next day, hungover and alone, he knew immediately the game was up. Julian was hunched over the kitchen table, looking like he always did when he hadn't been able to sleep for worry.
' Er, morning.'
Julian looked up. ' So, what's Russell Brand really like in bed?'
Noel knew enough not to lie. ' Ju, I'm so sorry.'
' Great double act, I'm told. So, do you always fuck the people you work with?'
' Ju, listen to me please.' Noel knelt down on the kitchen floor and tried unsuccessfully to take hold of Julian's hand. ' I was very drunk. It meant nothing.'
' Maybe not to you.'
' You cannot seriously believe I'm involved with Russel. Fuckssake, could I have shagged anybody more promiscuous? He's probably forgotten all about it already.'
' Let's find out.'
To Noel's unspeakable horror, Julian wearily got up and headed toward the front door.
' Ju, what are you doing?' No answer. ' Ju, please.'
Without a backward glance, Julian left the house, leaving a terrified Noel behind.
' Hi!' The very american-sounding PA was grinning at him from ear to ear. Not exactly the chilly reception Julian had been expecting.
' Hi, I'm Julian Barratt. Is Russell in?'
' Sure. Do come in. Can I get you anything? No? You sure? I'll just let Russell know you're here.'
She made her way toward the office. ' Mighty Boosh time. Julian Barratt's here.' Much to her surprise, her boss almost jumped out of his skin.
' Oh Christ. Er, Madeleine, if, er, you hear something like fighting or, for example, me crying for help, do feel very free to intervene.'
Julian walked in to find Russell standing awkwardly in front of his desk. ' Julian, how lovely...'
' Cut the crap, Russell.'
Russell's shoulders sagged. ' Allright, fair enough. Just hit me.' He closed his eyes.
' Why the fuck would I hit you, Russell? Fuck do you take me for? You're not the one who was unfaithful.'
Warily, Russell re-opened his eyes and looked at him. ' It's your move, Julian. What would you have me do?'
In two steps, Julian was across the room, crushing his lips against Russell's. Initially taken aback, Russell was soon responding, his tongue pushing its way inside Julian's mouth. He was a pretty good kisser, Julian reluctantly admitted to himself. They were interrupted by a knock at the door. ' Er, can I get you guys anything? Everything okay?' Russell pushed the door opened just a tiny fraction. ' Things are extremely well, thank you.' He locked the door, took Julian by the hand, and led him into the adjoining bedroom.
Numbly, Julian allowed himself to be swiftly undressed and pushed into the bed. Now a naked Russell was on top of him, kissing his back and telling him how much he'd always wanted to do this to him. Undoubtly his usual sex talk, thought Julian wryly. He hadn't bottomed in a long time but it was just as well, really. At least he wouldn't have to worry about being turned on enough to be able to fuck Russell. Abruptly, Russell turned him on his back, one hand grabbing his hair, forcing Julian to face him, the other closing expertly around Julian's cock.
' I want you to look at me while I make you come.', he whispered.
Suddenly utterly freaked out, Julian pushed him away.
' What?', protested Russell.
' I..., don't you think this is getting a bit too personal?'
Russell gave him a very strange look, followed by a uncomfortably long pause. ' Yeah. Not being completely stupid, I do realize this is only revenge sex to you. It is not that to me. Julian, I've wanted you for years.'
' You what?', gasped Julian.
Russell let out a sad little laugh. ' I've wanted you for years. More than I ever wanted anyone. Granted, this may have something to do with the fact that I never thought for a second I could have you. But still...'
' You can't tell me this and expect me to go on with...'
To his surprise, rather than being angry, Russell smiled at him kindly. ' You're lost, aren't you?'
Julian found himself mutely assenting. With a sigh, Russell got up and started to put his clothes back on. Relieved, Julian did the same. Still tucking in his shirt, Russell unlocked the door. ' Madeleine! Stop giving me that " that was quick" look, you cheeky wench, and get us a car.' Gently, he took hold of Julian's arm and led him outside.
' Where are you taking me?'
' Home. Now, this is what you're going to do. You're going to tell Noel to kneel down at the foot of the bed. Then, you're going to spank him until his bottom turns purple. Then you're going to fuck him, hard. Then you're going to forgive him. Because that will constitute an appropriate response to what happened. Not going mad and throwing your relationship to the wolves. Get in the car.'
' You have a lot of nerve, telling me this.'
' Nerve, my sweetest, is my specialty. In the car, Julian.'
TO BE CONTINUED
TITLE - Afterparty
RATING - Bit of sex, bit of angst, nothing too heavy
PAIRING - Noel/Julian/Russell Brand
Well, he had been a bit tipsy... And on a total performance high, let's not forget that. And maybe there was something about the Royal Albert Hall, some kind of sex vibe... After all, it was named after a bloke with a genital piercing who had given Queen Victoria umpteenth children. He had felt it a bit last time he'd performed here, for the Comedy Relief thing. Yes, that had to be it. Otherwise, there was no way he'd have ended up shagging Russell. No fucking way...
' Look... Wait, wait, wait. You sure that door is locked?'
Russel lifted an eyebrow. ' What's the matter, you shy?'
' Russ, if Julian was ever to find out about this I'd be dead and so would you. Cause I'd kill you.'
' Fear not, my flower, I am the very soul of discretion. Is he the jealous type, then?'
Noel looked down at his feet, suddenly remorseful, though not remorseful enough, he noted ruefully, to quite make his erection go away. God, this would kill Julian. He was so insecure about his looks. If he thought, for a moment, that he preferred Russell to him - as if that was even possible. He liked Russell, but no way. He could no more fall in love with Russell that Russell could fall in love with him - or possibly anybody. Noel turned around to face him.
' Russ, I'm being totally serious, yeah? I wouldn't risk hurting Ju for the world.'
Russell threw him an uncharacteristically serious look. ' Do you really love him, then?'
' I worship him. My life began the day I met Ju.'
' You have the worst sex talk, you know that?'
Noel laughed. He'd actually managed to embarrass Russell, how amazing was that? Russell, who looked incredibly sexy with his eyes lowered like that. Enough talking. He moved toward him and stood on tiptoe to press his lips against his. Russell responded willingly, his tongue immediately finding its way inside Noel's mouth, his arms snaking around Noel's waist and forcefully pulling him closer. He may have looked away when they kissed on stage, though Noel wryly, but he certainly wasn't being coy now. Their erections rubbed together while Russell apparently tried to find a secret passage down his throat, not that Noel minded. He could only hope Russell was equally skillful when using his tongue a little further south. Oooh, wait. He was. Good with his fingers as well. Suddenly, Russell stood up, while simultaneously grabbing Noel's thighs and easily lifting him onto the dressing-room table. Positioning himself between Noel's widely spread legs, he swiftly undid his trousers.
' Pass us the hand lotion, will ya?'
' Romantic type, aren't you? Why don't you undress?'
' It would take ages', protested Russell. ' I need to look good for the after-party, there's no way I'll be able to put all this stuff back on right. I thought you wanted us to be discreet..'
' Fine'. Noel sighed campily. Much as he would have loved a closer look at Russell's manly chest, he did have a point. Also, he kind off wanted him right now. Ah! Lovely. Russell moved with the kind of skill that can only be acquired through long experience, each thrust precisely aimed. Shaking, his hands clamped on Russell's broad shoulders while he held him by the waist, Noel felt himself beginning to come. Russell followed soon after and they held each other for a brief moment, while their breathing returned to normal.
' Well? Shall we to the after-party?', said Russell.
A little word of advice. If you're planning to cheat on the love of your life, avoid doing so backstage after a gig attended by a veritable herd of common acquaintances - so many common acquaintances, in fact, that the event could easily have been classified as a tribal gathering of common acquaintances.
Noel had stumbled back home much too drunk to care, but when he awoke the next day, hungover and alone, he knew immediately the game was up. Julian was hunched over the kitchen table, looking like he always did when he hadn't been able to sleep for worry.
' Er, morning.'
Julian looked up. ' So, what's Russell Brand really like in bed?'
Noel knew enough not to lie. ' Ju, I'm so sorry.'
' Great double act, I'm told. So, do you always fuck the people you work with?'
' Ju, listen to me please.' Noel knelt down on the kitchen floor and tried unsuccessfully to take hold of Julian's hand. ' I was very drunk. It meant nothing.'
' Maybe not to you.'
' You cannot seriously believe I'm involved with Russel. Fuckssake, could I have shagged anybody more promiscuous? He's probably forgotten all about it already.'
' Let's find out.'
To Noel's unspeakable horror, Julian wearily got up and headed toward the front door.
' Ju, what are you doing?' No answer. ' Ju, please.'
Without a backward glance, Julian left the house, leaving a terrified Noel behind.
' Hi!' The very american-sounding PA was grinning at him from ear to ear. Not exactly the chilly reception Julian had been expecting.
' Hi, I'm Julian Barratt. Is Russell in?'
' Sure. Do come in. Can I get you anything? No? You sure? I'll just let Russell know you're here.'
She made her way toward the office. ' Mighty Boosh time. Julian Barratt's here.' Much to her surprise, her boss almost jumped out of his skin.
' Oh Christ. Er, Madeleine, if, er, you hear something like fighting or, for example, me crying for help, do feel very free to intervene.'
Julian walked in to find Russell standing awkwardly in front of his desk. ' Julian, how lovely...'
' Cut the crap, Russell.'
Russell's shoulders sagged. ' Allright, fair enough. Just hit me.' He closed his eyes.
' Why the fuck would I hit you, Russell? Fuck do you take me for? You're not the one who was unfaithful.'
Warily, Russell re-opened his eyes and looked at him. ' It's your move, Julian. What would you have me do?'
In two steps, Julian was across the room, crushing his lips against Russell's. Initially taken aback, Russell was soon responding, his tongue pushing its way inside Julian's mouth. He was a pretty good kisser, Julian reluctantly admitted to himself. They were interrupted by a knock at the door. ' Er, can I get you guys anything? Everything okay?' Russell pushed the door opened just a tiny fraction. ' Things are extremely well, thank you.' He locked the door, took Julian by the hand, and led him into the adjoining bedroom.
Numbly, Julian allowed himself to be swiftly undressed and pushed into the bed. Now a naked Russell was on top of him, kissing his back and telling him how much he'd always wanted to do this to him. Undoubtly his usual sex talk, thought Julian wryly. He hadn't bottomed in a long time but it was just as well, really. At least he wouldn't have to worry about being turned on enough to be able to fuck Russell. Abruptly, Russell turned him on his back, one hand grabbing his hair, forcing Julian to face him, the other closing expertly around Julian's cock.
' I want you to look at me while I make you come.', he whispered.
Suddenly utterly freaked out, Julian pushed him away.
' What?', protested Russell.
' I..., don't you think this is getting a bit too personal?'
Russell gave him a very strange look, followed by a uncomfortably long pause. ' Yeah. Not being completely stupid, I do realize this is only revenge sex to you. It is not that to me. Julian, I've wanted you for years.'
' You what?', gasped Julian.
Russell let out a sad little laugh. ' I've wanted you for years. More than I ever wanted anyone. Granted, this may have something to do with the fact that I never thought for a second I could have you. But still...'
' You can't tell me this and expect me to go on with...'
To his surprise, rather than being angry, Russell smiled at him kindly. ' You're lost, aren't you?'
Julian found himself mutely assenting. With a sigh, Russell got up and started to put his clothes back on. Relieved, Julian did the same. Still tucking in his shirt, Russell unlocked the door. ' Madeleine! Stop giving me that " that was quick" look, you cheeky wench, and get us a car.' Gently, he took hold of Julian's arm and led him outside.
' Where are you taking me?'
' Home. Now, this is what you're going to do. You're going to tell Noel to kneel down at the foot of the bed. Then, you're going to spank him until his bottom turns purple. Then you're going to fuck him, hard. Then you're going to forgive him. Because that will constitute an appropriate response to what happened. Not going mad and throwing your relationship to the wolves. Get in the car.'
' You have a lot of nerve, telling me this.'
' Nerve, my sweetest, is my specialty. In the car, Julian.'
TO BE CONTINUED
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no subject
Date: 2007-04-05 12:55 pm (UTC)By the way, I'm new here, too. Hi.
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Date: 2007-04-06 04:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-10 04:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-06 04:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-05 01:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-06 04:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-05 04:50 pm (UTC)Heh....oh my! *blushes* I like the way Russell thinks!
no subject
Date: 2007-04-06 04:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-05 05:19 pm (UTC)After all, it was named after a bloke with a genital piercing who had given Queen Victoria umpteenth children. I know! A MASSIVE ERECTION in honour of his...well, you know what I'm saying.
You're going to tell Noel to kneel down at the foot of the bed. Then, you're going to spank him until his bottom turns purple. Then you're going to fuck him, hard. Ha! Like Julian needs to be told. ;)
My head hurts now with all these Russell/Noel/Julian fics!! Oooh the complications!
no subject
Date: 2007-04-06 04:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-05 06:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-06 04:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-05 09:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-05 10:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-06 05:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-06 12:20 am (UTC)Poor Julian....but he'll get back at Noel...in multiple ways.
Lol at the Branding secks...aww.
And lol at the Russel...Ju....Barrand? secks.
Can't wait for part 2 :)
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Date: 2007-04-06 05:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-06 09:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-06 05:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-06 01:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-06 05:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-09 06:35 pm (UTC)I'm loving all the wonderful Russell's on here at the moment. :D
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Date: 2007-04-10 12:38 pm (UTC)