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booshslashhavenWord count: 1803
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Noel/Julian
Summary: A year after when the phone rings accured, Noel is having nightmares. Julian and Noel have rules.
Notes: An ultra-super-uber-big thank you to
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planetbanjo who betaed. She helped shape, form and sculpt my otherwise gooey-runny-sticky ideas and without her help and guidance this fic would be highly unsatisfactory with a lot of grammatical errors. *Edit* Disclaimer: This didn't ever happen except in your minds when you read it, so I hold all of you partly responsible.
(Part 1)
Cold yellow linoleum, sharp silver edges laced with crimson, the florescent light casting a sickly pale glow. Desperation gnawing away at the edges of his mind as a fist closes around his heart and squeezes mercilessly.
Noel awoke with a start, breathing rapidly. He hadn’t slept properly in weeks; the nightmare had become unpleasantly familiar. Hoping to find comfort in the other side of the bed, he turned over. He was met by cold sheets and an empty feeling. Sighing, he remembered why Julian wasn’t there.
Julian and Noel had a rule; they couldn’t be intimate while writing and rehearsing the show. Julian reasoned that they needed the tension to get their creative juices flowing.
For the first few weeks of their agreement it had been bearable and as the tension between them grew, their writing got better. They had produced some of their best work to date but, after two months, Noel was finding the pressure agonizing. He yearned for Julian’s hot breath on his neck and his soft caresses on his back. He missed falling asleep in Julian’s arms and waking up to gentle, yet somewhat moustachioed kisses.
On top of this, today was their first anniversary and also a year since that terrible yet significant phone call, the darkest time in Noel’s life had been a catalyst for the greatest. Now they wouldn’t be able to celebrate it because they were in the middle of rehearsals. Frustrated, Noel kicked the duvet onto the floor.
Noel hauled himself out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom. He studied himself in the mirror. He looked exhausted and miserable; his eyes were bloodshot and were encircled by dark rings. The recurring nightmare was taking its toll on Noel both mentally and physically.
He took a long hot shower, hoping to emerge rejuvenated. He dried himself off then dressed in a luminous yellow t-shirt and black drainpipes. Noel still felt weary and glancing in the mirror hastily before he left, he realised he looked it too.
********
Hoping to look nonchalant, Noel strolled into the rehearsal room and glanced around. The room was spacious and rectangular, with a refreshments table at one end and towards the middle a group of chairs arranged in a haphazard semicircle. Four of the five chairs were filled; Mike and Dave were engaged in a light hearted conversation and Rich was engrossed in a cup of coffee. Julian sat next to the empty chair and was reading through the script. Noel’s heart fluttered and his stomach sank at the sight of him.
Julian looked up, “Alright, Noel?
Smiling weakly, Noel nodded, “Yeah, hey guys.”
“Hey man, you look like shit,” Rich pointed out, fulfilling his role as the ever brash American perfectly.
Mike frowned, “It looks like you haven’t slept in weeks, are you sure you’re ok? Maybe lay off the partying a bit, yeah?”
Out of the corner of his eye Noel saw Julian frown. He shrugged and attempted another smile. Not trusting himself to speak he walked quickly to the table and busied himself. He dared not look at Julian.
Dave, Rich and Mike exchanged glances.
“He’s been acting weird for a while now,” Dave said to Mike in a barely audible whisper.
Mike’s brows were furrowed in concern and thinking deeply he only managed a grunt in response.
“Yeah, and he looks like shit.”
“Yes, you’ve already said, Rich,” Dave whispered back.
“I know, but he usually doesn’t, right? That’s what I’m saying.”
Mike turned to Julian who was staring at Noel’s back.
“You should ask him what’s wrong, he’ll tell you.”
“I…” started Julian while shaking his head.
“You’re the only one of us who he’ll talk to about stuff like this. Go on, Julian.”
Julian sighed, stood up and walked over to Noel who was mindlessly stirring his coffee. Julian placed his hand on Noel’s shoulder and squeezed it slightly.
“Noel…”
Noel ceased his persistent stirring and reluctantly gazed into Julian’s concerned eyes. Julian was shocked to see Noel’s usually bright eyes were dull and despondent. Caught in Julian’s gaze, the tears Noel had been struggling to hold back all day welled up suddenly and trickled steadily down his pale cheeks. He wept heavily, helpless and shaking. Julian pulled him into a strong hug, holding Noel’s head against his broad chest.
Clinging to Julian, Noel buried his face in his shirt leaving damp patches in the thin fabric. Julian ran his hand back and forth along Noel’s lower back, murmuring sweet comforting words to him.
As Noel began to relax the tears slowed. Gradually releasing his hands from Julian’s shirt, he let them fall around the taller man’s waist.
“It’s a year ago, today,” Noel said in a small, shaky voice.
Julian squeezed him, “It feels so much shorter than that.”
Mike watched them, frowning. He was both worried about his brother’s sudden emotional outburst and confused about what happened a year ago. Rich was genuinely perplexed; Noel seemed to be acting insane. He wondered briefly whether men could get PMS. He found Julian’s reaction strange and he wondered why he was holding Noel so closely.
Dave, who had always speculated that Julian and Noel were an item, took this display as confirmation.
“Well, it sounds like congratulations are in order then.”
Julian and Noel turned to Dave with the exact same expression of shock and confusion on their faces.
“A year… You know, I honestly would have expected it to be longer,” Dave continued.
Julian was the first to come to his senses. “You know then… How?”
“It’s pretty easy to tell when two people are in love,” said Dave remembering the furtive glances and sly touches he’d witnessed between them.
It was Mike’s turn to look shocked. He looked open-mouthed between Noel, Julian and Dave before settling on Noel again.
“You mean you two are…” he managed finally, staring wide-eyed at Julian and Noel, “a couple?”
Noel pulled away from Julian slightly, still clutching his hand.
“Yeah, Mike, we’re together. A year today, well tonight actually.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Mike sounded hurt.
“I don’t know, we just didn’t tell anybody,” said Noel looking down at the floor and shrugging.
“Well, congratulations then,” said Mike levelly, still unsure how to take the news.
Noel smiled. “Thanks Mike. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
Mike shrugged. “It’s alright. As long as you’re happy.”
Seeing the relief wash over Noel’s face, Mike smiled.
“What I don’t get, Noel,” interrupted Rich, “is why you were crying.”
Julian squeezed Noel’s hand and looked at him questioningly. Noel shook his head, his eyes pleading to Julian to not tell them about what else happened a year ago.
“We have a rule,” began Julian.
Noel breathed a sigh of relief.
“A rule?” Rich frowned.
“Yes, while we’re writing and rehearsing we’re not supposed to… not allowed to…”
Julian blushed.
“To be together,” finished Noel.
“So no…” Rich frowned.
“No,” Noel and Julian said in unison
“Woah, that’s rough. And rehearsals last another month. Really? Nothing at all?”
They both nodded.
“Jesus, I’d be crying too.”
“I think what you two need to do,” said Dave walking up to them, placing a reassuring hand on Noel’s shoulder and looking between them, “is go home and celebrate. We can rehearse tomorrow.”
********
Noel and Julian snuggled up together on Julian’s couch. Noel’s head was rested on Julian’s shoulder.
“So are you happy that they know about us now?” asked Julian while playing with Noel’s hair.
“Yeah, I am actually. I think it’ll take a while for Mike to get used to the idea though.” Noel ran a finger along Julian’s chest.
“True.”
“But it’s gonna be easier for us now that we don’t have to hide it.”
Julian smiled and squeezed Noel’s thigh affectionately.
“Ju?”
“Mmm?”
“Thanks for not telling them about the other thing.”
Julian took Noel’s hand in his. He carefully peeled off all the bracelets surrounding his wrist, exposing three thin white scars.
“You shouldn’t be ashamed,” he said looking into Noel’s troubled blue eyes.
“I’ve been having nightmares about it.”
“Noel, if it wasn’t for these,” Julian replied, tenderly kissing Noel’s wrist, “we wouldn’t have us.”
Julian caught Noel’s lips in his own, pulling him close, wrapping his arms around the smaller man’s fragile form.
It had been two months since they had last touched each other and it had never felt this good. Their entwined bodies pressed together hungrily as they passionately attacked each others necks, leaving pink patches and light bite marks. Throwing their clothes onto the living room floor, their mouths and fingers explored every inch of exposed skin, the slightest touch leaving shivers and tingles.
Noel sat astride Julian grinning triumphantly. He offered his fingers to Julian who sucked them eagerly. Noel pushed his now wet fingers into himself in preparation for Julian.
“It’s been a while, are you still going to be able to…”
“Yeah,” Noel reassured him.
He then placed long wet licks along Julian’s erection before straddling him again. He eased himself onto Julian, relishing the feeling of his lover he so longed for he let out a deep satisfied moan.
Julian rocked his hips slowly upwards, pushing into Noel. Noel flung his head back in ecstasy, giving himself totally and utterly to Julian.
They moved in perfect harmony, matching one another’s rhythm and needs. As orgasm drew closer and closer they increased their vigour and speed. They shuddered against each other, gasping and moaning.
Noel lay across Julian’s bare chest, breathing heavily, his heart racing. Noel kissed Julian softly smiling into his mouth before placing his head on Julian’s chest again, listening to his heart beat. Julian delicately ran his hand along Noel’s back.
Noel started to giggle and Julian peered at him curiously.
“What?”
“I was just thinking, Rich thought I was crying because we hadn’t had sex in two months.”
Julian started to laugh too.
“He must think I’m a sex maniac,” Noel said disbelievingly.
The laughter died down and they were left with the comforting sounds of each other’s breathing.
“It’s good to hear you laugh like that again, Noel,” Julian said quietly.
“Like what?”
“Like the way you were when I first met you, as if nothing matters. It’s been more than a year since I last heard you so… so…” stammered Julian.
“So happy?” Noel suggested.
“Yeah, at ease, I guess. It’s been pretty tough for you lately,” finished Julian.
“I’d have never made it through it all if I didn’t have you, Ju.”
Julian kissed the top of Noel’s head.
“But maybe we should relax the rules a bit, yeah?” Noel grinned.
“Sure thing, little man.”
Smiling blissfully they soon dozed off, kept warm by each other’s bodies. Noel, finally feeling content, slept peacefully, the persistent nightmare banished by Julian’s presence.
no subject
Date: 2007-04-18 03:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-18 03:53 pm (UTC)This was very, very yummy.
no subject
Date: 2007-04-18 05:22 pm (UTC)Plus, thanks for the "ultra-super-uber-big thank you"! :)
no subject
Date: 2007-04-18 07:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-18 10:52 pm (UTC)He yearned for Julian’s hot breath on his neck and his soft caresses on his back. He missed falling asleep in Julian’s arms and waking up to gentle, yet somewhat moustachioed kisses.
*cries* So sweet.
And the ending, phowar.
Smiling blissfully they soon dozed off, kept warm by each other’s bodies. Noel, finally feeling content, slept peacefully, the persistent nightmare banished by Julian’s presence.
......*cries again*
Fantastic :D !!
Also! I love your icon!.
DEE LOOK ALIKE!.......I think!......and if not!.... *hides under a shoe*
no subject
Date: 2007-04-19 07:23 am (UTC)Thankyou.
I know it's you ^_^ Hahaha...DEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
no subject
Date: 2007-04-19 10:40 pm (UTC)*throws away blue prints of trying to look like Dee to do that exact plan*
You win. :(
no subject
Date: 2007-04-20 08:53 am (UTC)O RLY!?
JUST KIDDING.
I think that Noel is for Julian.
And vice versa.
Absolute love, they are. <3
no subject
Date: 2007-04-18 11:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-19 04:04 pm (UTC)Just gorgeous
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Date: 2007-04-19 10:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-20 02:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-21 09:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-21 10:00 am (UTC)*swoons*
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Date: 2008-01-04 05:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-04 06:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-05 09:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-05 09:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-05 09:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-06 12:22 am (UTC)