Fic: Challenge #20 Mistletoe Dreams

[themogwai.livejournal.com]

Title: Mistletoe Dreams Part 1
Pairing: Implied Howard/Vince- much more in second part
Summary: It’s nearly Xmas, it’s mistletoe love potions, it’s scary, weirdo Druids. Fun, fun, fun!
Word Count: Part 1: 1639
Rating: U at the moment- heating up in part 2.
Disclaimer: Mighty Boosh, its characters and situations belong heart, mind and soul to Noel Fielding and Julian Barrett- and for their meeting and conceiving of such a world we forever more heartily thank them. I own nothing; I’m just playing with the pieces for a space.
A/N: this story makes some references to my last one, Postpartum, so it is a bit of a continuation of events.




Just ten minutes, ten minutes peace to grab a tea and a sit-down. In the run-up to Christmas, they had been run off their feet- sensible loafers and sequin-heeled pumps alike- with a steady stream of festive customers, stocking up with the weird and wonderful items the boutique offered. The till hadn’t stopped all day, and even Vince’s normally bouncy demeanour that drew in the customers like bees to honey had started to droop just a little from the hard work- something he wasn’t in the habit of doing. Howard looked markedly less well put together at this late stage- as creased as a five-bob note scrunched into the groinal cavity of the trouser pocket of Fate.

“More tea?” Howard, having ascertained that his last dregs had gone regrettably cold, gave it up as a lost cause, and waved his mug in Vince’s direction.
“Yeah, that’d be nice, thanks.” The golden-jump-suited one didn’t even look up, but shoved his mug towards Howard.
Howard stopped with the mug-waving. “Well?”
Vince looked up, the annoyed tone in Howard’s voice finally reaching him.
“Well what?”
“Are you going to make the tea?”
“Why?”
“You’re nearest!”
“You offered!”
“Vince!” In exasperation, Howard rose, strode manfully across to the kitchenette in the corner, tripped lightly on a trailing wire and managed to regain his balance without making too much of as tit of himself. He picked up and waved the kettle at Vince.
“You are sitting closer to the kettle!”
Vince flashed a charming, good –humoured smile. “Ah, cheers, mate, since you’re there.”
“Vince!”
“Weeell, y’see, this isn’t really a tea-making outfit. Whereas yours is the same colour as tea, and possibly the same texture, too. It’s perfect for making tea.” Again the slightly goofy grin, and a subtle jiggle of his mug in Howard’s direction.
“Are you saying I’m dressed like a tea bag?”
“There is a slightly percolative tone to your look today.”
“Well, thank you, Vince, thank you very much.” Howard banged the kettle down and whacked its switch peevishly.
“Hey! Ow! Trying to read here!”
Howard didn’t even bother to say anything, just favoured his erstwhile friend with his most withering glare.
“Are you alright, Howard? Only, your eyes look as if they are trying to climb back inside y’ head.”
Mute with annoyance, the bigger man yoiked away Vince’s mug angrily, trying to ignore the fact that the electro ponce was almost curled over double with the sniggers.

His back to Vince, he poked about with tea bags, milk and sugar as the water boiled, pausing only to snap “Why don’t you do something useful, like turning the sign over? It’s gone six.”
“Has it? Oh, great!” Vince hopped gamely off his perch and skipped to the front door, tweaking over the sign, turning the key in the lock before turning with a flourish to see Howard standing, waiting with the teas in each hand.
“’Tis done, great Tsar of Tea!” Of course, Vince being Vince, it came out as "t'-zar"- any excuse to tease the Northerner, Howard thought with a grumble, but the extravagant bow added onto the greeting did make him smile just a bit. Vince seemed to know when he needed cheering up. And that’s why I can forgive you. Howard’s mouth curved into a soft smile.
The moment extended just a fraction, then Vince, his cheeks reddening just a fraction, skipped over to take the proffered mug, and daintily sipped at the hot, fresh liquid.

Something caught his eye as they stood a moment in chummy silence.
“Oooh! Look, Howard! Overhead!”
Howard frowned down at the dark-haired moppet, then upwards, and spotted the greenery sprouting from the ceiling. He returned the frown to the pair of twinkling blue eyes below.
“It’s just a weed, Vince.” That plant?! Why does it have to be that plant?
Vince rolled his eyes over-dramatically. “S’not a weed, you muppet! It’s mistletoe!”
“Ah. That would explain its peculiar leaves and white berries.”
“Yeah, and I put it up at lunch. Found it lying about upstairs- genius! Stuck it up by the till and thought we could have some fun with it! Then it got too busy for having fun.”
“Good customer service is fun enough, Vince.” Howard seemed to have suddenly gone extremely stiff, staring hard over Vince’s shoulder.

“What?” Vince shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. Hey- Howard, we’re standing under it, y’know!”
In fact the counter was between them, but the mistletoe struck a happy medium over their heads. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at Howard and couldn’t help the cheeky smile erupting into his eyes.
Howard's stomach fluttered. Must- stop! One eyebrow shot upwards, yanked upwards by some inexorable force. His palms grew moist, threatening to drop his mug. “What goes on the roof-“
“-stays on the roof.” Vince sighed and rolled his eyes and slurped at his tea. “Like you haven’t reminded me often enough.”
“Like you haven’t messed around and made me need to remind you often enough!” Howard retorted. Don’t slip up now, you’ve managed to keep those thoughts at bay for months.
Vince cocked his head, considering, eyes narrowing. “What happened… both times you mean?”
“Absolutely.” Howard’s gulp was meant to put a safe, closing period to the conversation before it got out of hand and he said something really stupid. Instead, in his rising emotion, he ended up inhaling the tea and scalding his mouth, so a period was more effectively put in place while he dashed to the sink and gulped cold water from the tap to alleviate the burning.

“Guys, is the shop shut?” Naboo’s be-turbaned head poked suddenly around the doorway to the backstairs.
“Tighter than a sea-man’s hosiery,” Vince confirmed.
“Good, ‘cos I’m expectin’ guests tonight, big potions brew-up for the Christmas market.”
“Does this mean we can’t stay in tonight?” Howard clumped over from the kitchenette, his roll neck liberally splattered with water marks.
“I told you weeks ago, Howard,” Naboo reprimanded him, before adding, “Drinking problem?”
Howard glanced at his chest, cursed and went back to find a dishcloth to dab ineffectually at the marks.
Naboo, however, was fixing Vince with a stern look. Indeed, he had come to stand eye-to-chest with the taller dandy.
“Vince, you haven’t seen my mistletoe bunch have you?”
“Umm...”
“The extremely expensive and ever-increasingly rare mistltus amorus I bought two days ago and hid upstairs in the locked cabinet? The one with five separate locking mechanisms?”
“Ummm…” unfortunately, to feign innocence Vince had allowed his gaze to wander upwards. Naboo’s followed and he saw the organic decoration.
“Vince! “
“Yeah-uh- sorry, Naboo.”
The mini-shaman sighed. “Give me a hand up.”
Vince helped him onto the counter, and Naboo retrieved his special ingredient.
“This is not a toy! It’s a powerful plant used to make ancient, shamanic love potions. Very popular this time of year and a big seller. Don’t let me catch you playing with my ingredients again, Vince!”

Vince pouted, scuffed his toe and promised, but just as the shaman made to leave, the lock of the front door suddenly glowed bright red with heat, then white, then flew off, shot across the shop and zipping between Vince and Howard crashed into the far wall. They jumped unconsciously closer together, staring bug-eyed at the front doorway, now filing with smoke. The door creaked open. The lights flickered. It was too dark outside to see more than a few vague shapes, and the smoke and flickering didn’t make it easier.
Two white-robed forms strode into the shop, and one stepped forward, short dark hair bobbing. A garland of holly, red berries and oak leaves about her head. Pale skin, ancient eyes, a faint half-smile of superiority.
“Lady Whiterubber, greetings.” Naboo folded his hands and bowed to the apparition, who returned the greeting.
“And- maybe next time knock, yeah? Don’t have a bottomless cauldron of locks.”
A faint smile, one raised eyebrow.
The other figure, also female and blonde, waved a bottle in Naboo’s direction.
“Mead,” She explained. “From the flowers of Avalon. Drink’s on us, Nab!”
“Lady Blacklash,” Naboo replied.
For the first time they appeared to notice the two frozen men, stood staring at them in no little wonder.
Howard croaked. It was about all he could manage. Somehow, his hands had become clutched with Vince’s, but neither made a move to un-plait fingers.

The women’s expressions grew puzzled. Lady Whiterubber waved a hand.
“Interesting… this aura’s warming up nicely on its own. We’re not needed here, Naboo. We have ingredients-” they raised their arms to show Sharmanainsburys bags bulging with goodies. “Shall we adjourn?”
Naboo gestured the two upstairs.

“What- are- they?”
Howard was slightly surprised that Vince didn’t seem to be perving over the girls as he’d expect him to. In fact, he seemed a bit rattled. That aura-reading nonsense had made him flush up. The heightened colour looked appealing on Vince, normally so creamy-skinned. Then he seemed to notice entangled hands, and released them. Howard felt a stab of disappointment, and firmly shucked it down.
“Druids. Part of the Shaman Network, and old mates.” Naboo fished in his robes and pulled out a hefty wedge of notes.
“Don’t come back too early, yeah?” And Naboo was gone.

The twosome stared after him, then at the notes shoved into Howard’s unresisting hand, then at each other, then back at the stairs. Giggles, shouts and clanging noises could be faintly heard.
“Well, that’s us told,” Howard muttered, before he idly checked the wedge. “Bloody hell!”
“What?”
“€500!”
Vince’s face lit up, recent troubling thoughts easily cast aside. “Now y’talking! Let’s go out and have some fun!”
Howard’s eyebrows rose. Fun?
He grabbed Vince’s coat and passed it over.
“Where to first, sir?”
“Well, I’ve got this mammoth idea….”

Comments

[thedarkevilone.livejournal.com]

Eeee!!! Part II cannot come soon enough!! People are submitting such amazing work this year...

[themogwai.livejournal.com]

The other responses are amazing- the picture made me laugh out loud.
Thank you- hope you like part 2 as much!

[onooyes.livejournal.com]

really great--especially this:
as creased as a five-bob note scrunched into the groinal cavity of the trouser pocket of Fate. hahaha, yes!

[themogwai.livejournal.com]

That's because I've felt that crumpled before now! Yes, sir, I have been in that crease, and come out again, a better, stronger person.
*Whimper- not the pocket- not the pocket!!*

[prairiestar.livejournal.com]

it's like... like... an episode! Can this be episode six please? <:) Great characters. Great hand holding. Looking forward to more.

[themogwai.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you! That's sweet of you. Yes, there is more hand holding to come...

[themogwai.livejournal.com]

I am so chuffed by the positive feedback- and your comments are making me a bit giddy with relief! This story started as something of a bastard child, and I really didn't like it at all, so it got cut and edited sharply, and released to get it 'out there'. To hear back you guys like it is fab and mucho confidence-boosting!
Thank you! xxx

[themogwai.livejournal.com]

Can I ask a question? This story (Mistletoe Dreams) is becoming a bit of a monster. Just finished part 3, and it shows no signs of coming to an end yet! It's a sort of a slash epic (through time and space)!
Do you think this'd be ok to continue posting? Or are folks looking for more 'short and sweet' stuff?
:-S

[themogwai.livejournal.com]

I respect your comments and I'm so pleased you replied!
I'm incredibly nervous about my writing. It's such a personal exercise- even my bloody essays for Uni are important to me- and it would feel ghastly to think my 'children' were considered badly made by public concensus.
Anyway, next bit should be up this evening, and you'll see why I was worried- it gets weirder from now on... :-D
xxx

[wannabemod.livejournal.com]

Oooh! This is really good, please dont make us wait for part 2 for too long. I love the way you write the characters, the story is so easy to imagine happening!

[themogwai.livejournal.com]

:-) Thank you. I posted part 2 tonight, so should be along soon. Hope you like it as much!
xx

[silent-ivy.livejournal.com]

really good :D more!

[themogwai.livejournal.com]

On it's way!
xx

[purpule.livejournal.com]

This reads just like an episode! Well... a more slashy episode than normal, but you know what I mean, ahahah. It's written very well, in keeping with the tone of the show brilliantly, and it's definitly got me hooked. Please don't keep us in suspense much longer!

[themogwai.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I always think it's important to keep as close to the source as possible. The wonderful thing about Boosh is that it can be read 'slashy' without actually altering anything major about it in any way!
Part 2 is submitted. :-)
xx