booshslashhaven | Five Songs

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Haha, okay, here's another fic for you dirty slashers to enjoy.

It's actually five mini fics, and each of them are based on a song.

I'll give you brief details as each, as not everyone will want to read every fic.

1. "It's Not A Side Effect Of The Cocaine. I'm Thinking It Must Be Love." - Fall Out Boy
Genre - Angst, Romance
Pairing - Noelian
Warnings - Drug Use

2. "Moving To New York" - The Wombats
Genre - Angst
Pairings - Noelian, Julian/Julia
Warnings - Lot of swearing I think

3. "Roses In The Hospital" - Manic Street Preachers
Genre - Romance
Pairing - Rudi/Spider
Warnings - Drug use, character death

4. "Close Encounters Of The Crazy Kind" - The Hoyboys
Genre - Humour
Pairings - Dee/Sue, Sue/Chris, Noel/Dee, Noel/Lars (who is Lars, are you thinking? You'll find out :P)
Warnings - NUDITY IN PUBLIC, lots of swearing.

5. "Nightswimming" - R.E.M.
Genre - Romance
Pairing - Howince
Warnings - Smut

DISCLAIMER - NONE OF THESE THINGS HAPPENED. WELL, THE FOURTH MIGHT HAVE.

ONLY JOKING IT DIDN'T.

Now enjoy.

"It's Not A Side Effect Of The Cocaine. I Am Thinking It Must Be Love" – Fall Out Boy

The comedown is the worst part. Crawling from your room at two in the afternoon, with the sweet smell of coffee soured by your headache. He’s bustling around in the kitchen, the clanking of plates and cutlery suggesting he’s probably doing the washing up. There’s no one else around who’ll do it.

And you always try your best to claim it’s just alcohol, but he can read you like no one else. And eventually you confess, ‘yeah, I had one line, but it’s no big deal’. Then you wish you’d kept the words inside; they’re what you hide behind, your protection from the world.

But instead of being angry, even though you can tell that inside he is, at least a little bit, he just puts his cool hand to your aching head, and it soothes the pain every time. He feels you relax into his arms, as like a modern-day Jesus he cures your symptoms. When you’re looking at him, it’s not the comedown that’s making your stomach flip, it’s just his beauty, isn’t it?

It’s funny, really. The other Boosh boys make fun of you two at times, about how you’re like an old married couple, but they must be so jealous. They don’t know what it’s like to be held in his strong arms and know that everything will be okay. They don’t know what it’s like to just drive for miles and just be content with one another’s company.

It hurt so much when you had to hide it for so long, you felt lost and alone in a world that discriminated against you just because of who you were in love with. You were lost, for too long, but he found you.

He found you out.

“Moving To New York” – The Wombats

“No you fuckin’ ain’t.” Noel said it as a statement rather than a request. Julian looked away from him, out into the garden where the two little boys were toddling along, barely able to walk, clinging to one another for support as they stumbled and fell on the soft grass. Julia was out there with them, and kept glancing anxiously in every once in a while. She didn’t want to hurt Noel; no one did. It angered Noel. “Why are you?”

“It’s just- time for a change- Julia says-“

“Fuck Julia.” Noel spat the sentence, glaring at Julian. After a long silence, a mirthless crescendo of laughter fell from his slightly parted lips, sending shivers down Julian’s spine. “Oh wait, you do already.”

Julian fucking hated Noel when he was in that mood. Vindictive, spiteful, and dangerous.

“What about the Boosh, Julian? What about the Boosh?”

“I’ve told Paul,” Julian said with a sigh, seeing the anger seep across Noel’s face once more. “I’ve told Coogan. I’ve told everyone who needs to know.”

“Dave? Rich?” Julian nodded miserably. “Mike?” Julian hesitated, and then nodded. He flinched as Noel’s fist collided with the wall, closely followed by his head, which he banged twice.

“Fucking Hell, Julian! How can you actually be so fucking selfish? It’s like- it’s like you’ve fucking made the decision to end the Boosh without even consulting me! I am the Boosh!” He paused for breath, before spitting vehemently, “We are the Boosh!”
Julian sighed. “It’s not the end of the Boosh, it’s not even a permanent move! And even if it turns out to be, well I will still come back! We can still tour, we can still make a series… we can still write, we can email!”

“’We hold the pen together… take it in turns to write syllables…’” Noel hissed, with his voice shaking, a quote from some interview he remembered doing. “It wouldn’t fucking work over email would it, Julian?”

Julian gazed out into the garden, and saw that Julia was heading into the house, small boy under each arm. As she came in over the patio, she interrupted the argument.

“How are things here?” she said, nervously, glancing from Noel who was glaring at Julian, to Julian who was staring at the calendar with unusual intensity.

“Fucking pathetic,” Noel spat. Julia’s lips pursed.

“Look, Noel, you’re not making it easy for us are you? We didn’t want to leave you, Julian especially, he didn’t want to leave the Boosh but… we need a break. It’s not fair on our children! Can’t you try and-“

“Julia,” Julian stepped in, knowing that this speech was just going to aggravate Noel more.

Noel took a deep breath, and seemed to inflate to the size of a balloon, before reacting.

“I think the two of you can just go fuck each other, and I hope you’re fucking happy in New York. I won’t be at the leaving party, I’ll be celebrating in private.”

And with that shot, he stormed out of the house, down the road and realising that after that argument he’d just lost his lift home, he sat on the street corner and wept.

“Roses In The Hospital” – Manic Street Preachers

“Oh, Spider, Spider, Spider,” Rudi sighed, as he took his hand. He seemed too small in the hospital tent, swathed in white sheets. “Why did you have to take too much?” That was the thing with Spider; yes, he was the party animal everyone loved, but he always had to go too far.

He was allowed to dabble with drugs, for sure, but he took it too far.

Someone had sent some roses. Spider was famous in the town, especially amongst the women, and it was only to be expected. They made Rudi feel so hopeless, as though they were waiting to be placed at the grave, but he knew deep down that Spider would pull through. He always did. The worst thing about it was that every time he fell back into his old ways, despite how much Rudi would try and stop him.

Without Spider, there was no one to stub cigarettes out on Rudi’s arm. It felt strangely painless, there in the hospital with the shaman nurses bustling around.

He sat and sat.

~*~

“Eh, Rudi, good for me to be home, ya knows?” Rudi smiled, as Spider slung his bag on the rock and wrapped his arms around Rudi, planting a kiss on his lips.

“Yes,” he agreed. “I- I knows.”

“Big party tonight, you knows, I’s ready just in time to go ennits!” Spider said excitedly, drawing the roses out of his bag and placing them on the flat stone. Rudi looked at Spider disapprovingly.

“Are you sure you’re ready for big parties already, Spider? Might want to take it easy for a few days?” he said anxiously.

“Ah, there is no party wivout Spider!” he responded, almost wistfully. “I go tonight, but I be back early for my Rudi. You know I loves you,” he kissed Rudi again. “I wouldn’t a come out that hospital wivout you!” Rudi smiled.

“Just,” he said, “Just, you might not want to take anything? Just for tonight?” Spider stared into Rudi’s eyes, with a huge grin on his face, and placed a hand on either shoulder.

“Rudi can try and stop Spider partying hearty,” he chuckled. “But Rudi gonna fail!”

Rudi watched him go that night for the last time.

~*~

Spider burnt out, he didn’t fade away, Rudi reflected, as he placed the roses down on the scorching sand. It was what he would’ve wanted.

‘Rudi gonna fail,’ the words echoed round his head, Spider’s rasping voice filling his ears and his soul in a cacophony of sound, until he couldn’t hear nor think of anything else.

‘Rudi gonna fail.’

Rudi did fail, he noted. Pretty spectacularly.

“Close Encounters Of The Crazy Kind” – The Hoyboys

Fucking Hell, sex with girls is so much better than sex with boys. Sue and me, well, we’re making music like never before, that’s for sure.

“Yes, fucking there.” Her deep guttural moan was accompanied with the sound of a key turning in the lock. Sue was right on the brink, but opened her eyes to look at me in horror, and simply mouthed the word, “Chris!” and then followed up with, “Go!”

She slid under the covers of the bed. I grabbed my boots and pulled them on, and without a second thought jumped out of the second floor window onto the street below. Naked- except for the boots, I ran down the road as quick as I could, breathing a massive sigh of relief that no one was around and our flat was only five minutes away.

Two people saw me- it was inevitable, I guess. A man walking his dog, who stared for just too long at my uncovered tits, and a teenage girl who was probably going to meet her boyfriend, who seemed a lot more embarrassed than me and tried to hide under her fringe.

I banged on the door of our flat for dear life, praying Noel wasn’t lying in some comatose state. But it seemed he wasn’t, as he opened the door and stared at me in disgust before ushering me inside.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he hissed, closing the door quickly behind me. “You been shagging Sue again?”

“What- what the fuck are you on about, Noel, of course not!” I stammered.

“I’ve heard stories,” he said slowly. I shook my head vehemently, out of breath from my naked sprint.

“No, Noel, seriously, listen, something fucking weird just happened to me. I had a close encounter of the crazy kind. I was just round at Sue’s, in the garden, when… some fucking spaceship, or something, came down.” I took a deep breath, and searched my mind for a good excuse. “These little green men came out- I mean, seriously little, smaller than Mike, and fucking carried me inside, and stripped me, and tried to read my mind.”

Noel looked at me with an expression of bewilderment and disgust on his face, shaking his head slowly. “No.”

“Yes!” I exclaimed. “But, you know, when they read it, all I was thinking of was you. So they got really annoyed… shoved me off the ship naked, except for my boots. And I pegged it home to you, thinking you’d understand!” A big portion of my mind was saying ‘fucking Hell, Dee, you cocked that one up’, but a smaller part was looking at Noel and realising that he didn’t look angry.

“You know what,” he said slowly, “That happened to me too!” I looked at him in actual shock. He turned to look into the room behind him, and called “Lars!”

A huge, blundering, Swedish man stumbled out and looked at me sheepishly, topless.

“Hallo. My name is Lars, and I am from Mars.”

I’d thought my close encounter was crazy enough, but I could not believe Noel was having an extraterrestrial affair.

“Nightswimming” – R.E.M.

“Vince, please tell me where you’re taking me,” Howard pleaded, as Vince pulled him by the arm through the Zooniverse. Howard was pretty sure they’d just past the monkey enclosure, but then again that could have been the hippo with rickets… he wasn’t really sure at all, and as it was pitch black he had no way of knowing.

Vince was a bat, Howard was convinced of it. A creature of the night, he navigated through the darkness using radar, or so it seemed, so sure he was of where he was heading.

Or maybe, Howard reflected, Vince just had a lot more conviction in him than Howard ever would.

“No, Howard, cos if I told you then it wouldn’t be a surprise would it, and that’s the whole point of a birthday surprise!”

“What about if I pretend to be surprised when I get there?” Vince gave Howard a look of stone, before continuing to drag him through the cold night air.

“Next time I won’t bother to give you anything,” he grumbled. The squawking of birds momentarily gave Howard the terrible thought that Vince might just shove him in with them and let them peck him until he resembled tuna in a sandwich, which on reflection would definitely not be good.

“Sorry, sorry, Vince, you know I-“

“Shut up, I think we’re here.” Howard was silenced by Vince’s tense tone; he could tell that Vince had actually worked hard on Howard’s present, desperate to give him something he would enjoy.

The smell in the air suggested they were close to water, perhaps with the porpoises? Vince interrupted his thoughts with a single word.

“Strip.” And Howard stripped.

Vince stripped too, before guiding Howard into the water, which at first felt cold, but soon warmed up.

“Did my piss help?” Vince asked, and suddenly Howard was overwhelmed with an urge to get out. Vince held him back.

“Hold on, I did set up lights…” and as though on cue, the lights came on. They were in a sort of lakey, pond enclosure, in the strange lighting Howard couldn’t work out which, and there appeared to be no animals in the water with them.

“Naboo’s looking after ‘em,” Vince said confidentially, reading Howard’s mind. “Fossil doesn’t have to know, yeah?” Howard nodded.

“So, Vince, not to be rude, but what is the point of this?” Howard asked. Vince stared at him for a long moment, before kissing his lips. Pulling away, he looked at Howard with a shy look that made him crave for more, so badly, all through his body.

“Don’t you feel freed up now?” Vince said seductively. They were both naked in the water, and as Vince approached him, Howard felt his boat begin to float rather than sink. They kissed again, this time with tongues, and Howard felt as though he was falling into Vince, they were becoming one.

Vince ran one finger lightly along Howard’s cock, and Howard moaned deeply, knowing this shouldn’t be happening, but eternally grateful that it was.

“Like that?” Vince murmured, and Howard nodding. He sent his hand on an adventure to find Vince’s cock, and on doing so, ran all of his fingers along it, up and down, and feeling Vince grow hard under his touch was so satisfying.

“This was just a fucking excuse to get you naked,” Vince growled, animalistic, before grabbing Howard and pulling him out of the water. Vince’s body was beautiful in the electric lighting, the water emphasising every line and curve as it sang over his small bones. Vince was thinking the same about Howard, until eventually thoughts became actions. Howard put his hand round Vince’s cock, at which he groaned loudly, and led him to the wall. With his back against the wall, Howard began to lick and suck Vince’s cock gently. Vince seemed to melt into the wall with pleasure, and Howard felt his own cock grow increasingly hard at the pleasure he got from controlling Vince, who was so often so very awkward. As he felt Vince was about to come, he abruptly rose to his feet and took a step backwards.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Vince exclaimed desperately, needed to come soon as his cock ached desperately.

“You aren’t ready yet,” Howard said mysteriously. He leaned into Vince, pushing him back against the wall once more and grinding against his cock, which caused Vince to emit loud, glorious groans which each led to Howard’s erection growing a little bit taller. Once again, Howard stopped just as Vince was about to come.

“Are you gonna come for me, Vince?” he whispered into Vince’s ear. Vince was too far gone to respond, he just nodded slowly, aching for release. “Are you ready?” Vince nodded again. Howard knew anything would finish Vince now, so he merely leaned into Vince once more, kissing him on the lips and running his fingers along the underside of his cock. Vince yowled, and came in spasms of ecstasy, the cacophony of noise was beautiful to Howard’s ears. Vince leaned into Howard for support as the orgasm ending, red, panting, and all the more beautiful.

“I- you- fucking- amazing!” Vince panted, and Howard smiled as Vince eventually began to respire normally once more. “But- it’s your birthday!” And with that realisation, Vince set about giving Howard the same amount of pleasure he’d given him, neither of them noticing the red light of the CCTV camera occasionally winking at them.

In his office, Bob Fossil strummed at his own erection as he watched the scene unfold before him. By the end of the night, three men had come, multiple times.

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