Diary of an Electro Boy RPS

[redgirlxx.livejournal.com]

Title: Diary of an Electro Boy RPS
Pairing : Noelian
Summary: Noel finds time in between his busy life to write down his thoughts. Urgh, that sounds awful lol.
Rating: This part is probably a PG but I think i
Warnings: Is Dee really a warning? lol Some measly teeny wenny hint of het. Shock horror.
Disclaimer: I'm really not Noel Fielding. Even though I think he possessed me. But that's cause I'm a bit of weirdo. xD I really don't intend to offend and this is all from my mind.
Author’s Notes: Want to send out a massive thank you to my beta  thieving_gypsy  Who has given me the glorious confidence to actually post this darn thing. You' re a sweetie! xD
This is wriiten in diary form so there are a lot of half sentences and odd grammar because I was trying to replicate spontanous speech to give him more of a voice. Ya know? Do I make sense? Anyway enjoy this part! Comments are lovely.

By the way, I have no idea where all the weird html stuff came from. Quite annoying and I apologise I have no idea what to do about it.

Title: Diary of an Electro Boy RPS
Pairing : Noelian
Summary: Noel finds time in between his busy life to write down his thoughts. Urgh, that sounds awful lol.
Rating: This part is probably a PG
Warnings: Is Dee really a warning? lol Some measly teeny wenny hint of het. Shock horror.
Disclaimer: I'm really not Noel Fielding. Even though I think he possessed me. But that's cause I'm a bit of weirdo. xD I really don't intend to offend and this is all from my mind.
Author’s Notes: Want to send out a massive thank you to my beta thieving_gypsy  Who has given me the glorious confidence to actually post this darn thing. You' re a sweetie! xD
This is wriiten in diary form so there are a lot of half sentences and odd grammar because I was trying to replicate spontanous speech to give him more of a voice. Ya know? Do I make sense? Anyway enjoy this part! Comments are lovely.


 Urgh. I've only just stopped coughing. This is always the moment when I realise why I don't smoke full time. I can't imagine what it must do to your lungs – 'orrible business. Although it's kind of cool in, like, a shameful way. Julian laughs when I say that. Says there ain't nothing cool in it at all. He really scoffs at my "social smoker malarkey", as he calls it - says that if you're going to smoke then smoke, don't do it by halves, otherwise it's just a waste of tobacco. Sometime when he frowns I try to smooth out the creases in his forehead because he don't need his wrinkles coming on any faster than they already are. He always pretends to be annoyed but then the corner of his mouth twitches and he's laughing and shaking his head at me. I wish I could smooth the crumples out of his shirts just as easy! The man scrunches them up and stuffs them into his suitcase and despite me going through the wash and hanging them up the bloody creases remain ever persistent, ever stubborn. We once had a barmy on tour because he'd scrunched one of his shirts back into his suitcase when I'd hung it up all nice for him. He looked at me with his messy hair and shaggy whiskers all annoyed and rolled his eyes when I'd complained, and I started yelling that I felt like his wife and he told me to stop acting like one, then. That did it! I refused to do his laundry for about a week after that, and he kept up this stubborn front of "don't need you, anyway" for all of five days before he was begging me like a pitiful puppy all covered in soap suds to help him out. Turned out he'd shrunk half of the contents of his suitcase and dyed the other half orange. Bless 'im. Still, I don't really mind washing his clothes for him. Someone's got to keep him smart, ain't they?

 

Anyway. I went out for a smoke 'cause for some reason Dee had left some in the kitchen. She'd nicked them off a mate 'cause they were being an arse, apparently. I didn't ask. I'm all on me own today, see. Dee's buggered off with some mates and I'm supposed to be having a day off, only I can't seem to relax. That's the thing, you see - if you've worked non-stop for the best part of a decade, you can't switch yourself off. Smoking seemed like something to do while I pondered – reflected, if you will. It's nice sometimes to sit and reflect, about your life, how it's going. Reminds you it's sort of a story, your own personal story that's unique. Only these buggers were lethal, and after a few drags I felt like me lungs had been coated in soot and my head went all dizzy. So I came in here while I was pottering about in Dee's drawer to see if she had any moisturising cream I could nick as mine had run out, I found this silly book I've had ages. Dunno what it was doing in there, she must have flung it in there in a mad panic to tidy up our room when her mum was coming to visit. I like Dee's mum 'cause she's a bit foxy but Dee always frowns at me when I say that. She says all blokes like her mum and it pisses her off - that she can't stand her 'cause she's a right cow and that blokes always fall under her spell. She don't mean it, though. I caught her beaming all over when her mum told her she was doing good for herself. Dee's mum always brings cake, too, which is good. I like cake. Me and Dee can't cook for crackers. We're a right pair, one of us is always peering into some book of some sort covered top to toe in flour, or something, barking instructions to the other while they're twiddling with various buttons and knobs on the cooker. None of it never turns out any good. Still, it's fun pretending to be chefs.

 

This book is really fun to write in. It's dead poncy, too, all leather-bound and fancy paper. Makes me want to get a quill out, only I ain't got one so I'll stick with biro. I'm sat at a desk too - get me! Keep pulling silly "intellectual" poses at meself in the mirror, though. Dee will bust a gut laughing when I tell her I'm keeping a journal. Might keep it all secretive, though - piss everyone off and make them think I'm writing up dirt on them.

 

Julian won't care though. Thinks he already knows all he needs to know about me already and don't respond too much to me when I'm arsing about, save the occasional raised eyebrow and crinkly smile. I don't push too much with Julian, though. It's all well and good when it's for comedy purposes, and he's being Howard the insecure jazz freak, but Julian's really sharp. Made a few people cry with his tongue over the years - including me, but I always get my own back. One way or another. Mixing the odd red sock in with his whites is one of the more petty ways.

 

Last week I dragged Julian out and we ended up back at mine at 3am in the back garden in a tent chanting like tribal warriors. Dee got up and flicked stones at us and yelled for about ten minutes before giving up and joining in. We all had blinders in the morning. Julian fussed about going home to Julia in case she got miffed 'cause she'd been up all night with his nippers whilst he's been playing silly buggers. He kissed me goodbye on the cheek and then really smiled. Not like he usually does but this big belting smile I ain't seen in years - like he really had a good time. It was beautiful.

 

Dee teased me all day cause I was dead chuffed and went all red after I'd seen him out. She said I was like a teenage girl all gooey over her high school sweetheart. I pushed her in the bath and she chased me round the house naked covered in soap foam. We really ought to close the curtains sometimes.

 

-- ----

 

Hahahaha. Bet you didn't think I'd keep this up 'cause I'm such a busy bee and all that. No such luck. Only I've got to be dead sneaky cause I'm in the middle of a Boosh Band rehearsal and Julian told us all just forty-five minutes. He thinks he's being the boss just cause he's the musical whiz kid but Rich and Dave were having none of it, already bashing at the keyboards and hollering like wounded cats until Julian snapped the lid down on their fingers. Just to stop him sulking we all let him be in charge but it's turned into this massive tongue-in-cheek joke where we all call him sir and request toilet trips. Julian got into the role too, dishing out gold stars and sending Rich into the naughty corner when he was getting too much. He kept banging this stick, too, and pointing it whilst dictating at us and we all got the giggles until the producer came in and told us to stop fucking about.

 

It's really fun, this whole band business. Julian is getting really creative and we're all pulling together like a right team. I'm a bit nervous, though, to tell the truth, but a good fluttery tummy nervous.

 

Yesterday I got all paranoid that we were sticking it out a bit doing this whole album thing. I kept rummaging through all the cupboards in the kitchen forgetting what I wanted for breakfast, making a right racket until Dee shouted that there were some fucking Pop Tarts in the bread bin and could I possibly make any more of a mess? She weren't cross, though, just tutted and rolled her eyes before smiling. She ain't too anal about mess, Dee, so long as it ain't rancid in the house. Still, I'm the same. I freak out over dirty things but I ain't fussed about mess. We both have this silly ritual where we both clean from either side of the house, and race to get to the middle and whoever gets there first wins. It's really funny because the entire time we can hear each other giggling excitedly from the other side and shouting, "How far in are you?" from time to time. She's dead fun, is Dee.

 

Julian always takes over the cleaning when we're touring, gets all serious and tense about it. He gets cross when things don't seem to be where he thinks they should. "Who's moved my toothbrush?!" You get the idea. But still, Julian's the funniest person in the world. Even when he don't mean to be. It's that little frown he does when he's reading some boring dead dark crime novel, rubbing his chin absently. Once he walked into the lounge area on the tour bus to find me wearing his reading glasses, messed up hair and frowning at his book pretending to be him in one of his shabby cardigans. He clipped me behind the ear and said, "You idiot!" before bursting out laughing. I love making Julian laugh. If you can make the funniest person in the world laugh then you can't be that bad yourself.

 

Anyway, Mike put me straight on being paranoid about the band. He said we'd all regret it if we didn't at least try. I'd called him up on a bender randomly one afternoon. Still, don't know what Naboo's doing in this whole band business. It's funny because we won't leave him out even though he's being all modest saying that it's fine. Dave said he can be a mini Bez. Dave's got a belting voice - so does Rich, when he stops pissing about, but that wouldn't be so funny so we just let him roar on like a mad beast. I'm a bit ashamed I failed to notice one of my best mates had such a cracking talent. I told him so and he laughed and said I spend too much time in me mirror preening myself to notice anything anyway. The git... just checking my hair.

 

Mum phoned, weirdly, two seconds after I got off the phone to Mike asking where he was. Bloody typical, so I had to phone him back and ask him and he got all pissy saying he wasn't a child and could look after himself. Looks like I'm one dead messenger.

 

Still, Dee and I had a soppy and watched a film and went to bed. Early night and all. Only it weren't so early because she started whispering in my ear and rubbing my thigh and I abandoned thoughts of sleep. She giggled when she'd won. It's like we're playing all the time.

 

I once - and I should probably mention I was few sheets to the wind - asked Dee what she thought Julian would be like in bed and she tensed before this big massive huge grin spread across her face and something like evil glee glinted in her eye. And I got all hot and flustered and instantly regretted the question. She prodded me and cocked an eyebrow, all sarcastic. "Why, what's up? You hungry for some northern manly love action? You like the Business Barratt? The intense and grubby, hairy, wheelbarrow-wielding intellectual?" She shut up after I'd tickled her enough.

 

I do sometimes think I like Julian a little too much. I know I follow him around too much. I had to tone it down when the teasing from others got too much. Julian never complained, he ruffles my hair and calls me his little stalker groupie and I shove him and tell him to get stuffed but I smile anyway. Because I do sort of love him, the big lump.

 

Oh Christy, Julian's yelling! Julian's yelling! Best be off, he's stopped saying "little man" and moved on to "Where are you, you ponce?" so I think I best be off.

 

--- --

 

Oh my days, I'm so busy it's unreal, got a meeting with the NME in a few days but Dee wants me to go on tour with her until then. I went all shifty-featured and mentioned about how I'd be tired but she rolled her eyes and started doing gimmer impressions and waddled about like an old man. "Oh, me back, son!" So after I stopped busting a gut I told her I'd think about it.

 

But I might just fuck it and go. I won't get drunk every night, maybe one... just a bit. Not too much 'cause I don't want to fuck this interview up. Never a good idea to piss the NME off.

 

I should probably let Julian know, though, he wants to meet soon and talk about the festival and stuff. I'll give him a bell in a bit... tell him I'll be all dead responsible and act like he's my Dad. That'll tickle him.

 

--- --

 

Right, ok, well, I'm going. I want to go so I'll go. It is after all my decision, Dee is after all my girlfriend and what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't support her? And if I get shitfaced I get shitfaced, because it's my life and I can do what I want. I'm not fucking four and I can look after myself, I don't need bloody chaperoning about my business, thank you very much. Oh my god. I hate him sometimes! I really truly do! Urgh. He doesn't even argue probably, just goes all quiet and moody and sarcastic. "No, that's fine, Noel, you go off gallivanting around Britain while I try and piece together our future."

 

IT'S THREE FUCKING DAYS! While I try and piece together our future - who does he think he is? So he's allowed to fuck off in the middle of schedules to run about playing happy families leaving the rest of us in the shit... though he says I'm a twat when I moan about that. That it's his family and they are after all more important... more important more important MORE IMPORTANT???? FUCK IT FUCK YOU JULIAN BASTARD BARRATT.

 

--- --

 

wheyyyyyyy ello diry you little booky wooky wooky. Oooh I'm felin really good real goooood. Delia was mazin... hoppin about like a shiney thing... hope Juleean is at home coverered in nappy shit. Pahaha. Jus havin fun, loud to, my life, not me dad.

 

--- ---

 

I feel sick. Where's Dee got to? What is this I am doing? Where am I?

 

--- --

 

Well say goooodbbbyyyye cause I'm offskies. Gone gone gone goney goooone. Why can't I seee properererly? Dee is sleep... she was mental, ment...

 

--- --

 

Why am I so useless? I wanna die.

 

--- ---

 

Oh god. Oh god what... what did I do yesterday? Oh my days, was I wearing a dress? I've got a feeling this is going to be embarrassing. Yup... it's coming back, will you excuse me while I go blow my brains out? No use, Dee's told me I've got to stay in bed. Called me a prat. Guess I'm in the bad books, then. Julian weren't too happy, neither.

 

Think I might have pissed him off... a lot. I know from the way he looked at me, like he was tired of me, not even like he was bothered, just disgusted. I hate that. More than anything. I wish he'd yell and call me a dick. But he won't, just stands there with this hard look in his eye and tells me I'm an embarrassment. I'm going to have to try and salvage the interview. Think I told the woman to fuck off... that can't be good.

 

Well, he'll come round. I'll phone him up and grovel, sort it out with the NME, they like us anyway so I'm sure they'll be ok. I'll just stop getting shitfaced for a bit. And then maybe Julian will smile at me again.

 

--- --

 

Hahaha, how emo was that? Totally sorted now, should blow over. Saw Ju today and he smiled and ruffled my hair, calling me a silly bugger. Dee was a bit off at first but she soon warmed up when she saw me as me old self again. And maybe 'cause I bought her a top she was after. Guilt money, can work. And then she started to find the whole thing hilarious, specially the bit were the taxi driver got scared on the way home because he thought he was tending to a couple of trannies with depressive issues. Never hear the end of it. Specially when I next see Dave. I can just picture that smug grin already.

 

Still a bit ashamed of myself for throwing a wobbly just 'cause Julian was cross with me. Dee said it was so obvious, too. "You're, like, obsessed with his opinion of you!" I wish she wouldn't, 'cause I don't want to get too into thinking what that might mean.

 

Got a meeting with some big bosses tomorrow about the festival, should be interesting. I hope they all know we don't have a clue what we're doing, though I guess people are used to that from us now.

 

Why do I care so much about what Julian thinks of me, though? I mean, I guess it's 'cause he's my comedy partner and best friend and of course I hold his opinion highly. But it's more than that. I guess I've never let myself think about it properly because I've never wrote my thoughts down before like I'm doing now. It springs to mind the odd occasions where things crossed over a bit. Like that time we were snuggled on the tour bus 'cause the heating weren't on and Julian got a stiffy. I never said nothing. Nor did he. But that could have been nothing, I know for one that it can pop up all over the place in the most ludicrous of situations. But still, he looks at me sometimes all gooey and starry. Probably how I look at him.

 

And then there's this silly man and wife thing we have going, asking permission from one another to disappear for a few days, doing his laundry, him picking me up when I'm shitfaced.

 

I dunno. I just don't know.

 

--- --

 

Noel, I can't believe you want to cheat on me with that hairy northerner. You should bow your head in shame, you pig, and I'm so leaving you... by the way you've got to stop eating all those Pop Tarts 'cause I'm fed up of nipping out to buy some more 'cause you don't eat proper food. You're going to get the podge. Think of it, Noel. Podge, urgh, podgy podgy podge. Can't be nice. What will people say?

 

And I know. Just stick your bloody hand down his cords and go from there. But make sure I'm told... in exquisite detail, mind!

 

You really can't spell, can you? Sucks to be you.

 

--- --

 

Oh, she is so dead. So so dead. Whatever happened to privacy, eh? I so have to get a padlock for this, or at least stop leaving it lying about randomly where just anyone can read it. Surely she ain't read it all? I'll have to go and ask her, but then she'll totally take advantage and use it to blackmail me. I am so up her mother's arse next time she comes to visit! Just you fucking wait. Ha! I'm hiding her staighteners. She's buggered without those. And then I'll do my hair all real nice and watch while she gets all flustered. Nobody messes with the Fielding. And I'm eating the pop tarts tonight. She can fuck off. Oh my god I'm not putting weight on, am I? Last time I checked everything was looking good. Maybe I should have a salad instead... oh bugger I'm falling for it FALLING FOR IT!

 

Well, I was getting sick of them anyway... Shut up.

 

 

--- --

Comments

[pris-stratton.livejournal.com]

Lol at the last two entries! I love Dee in this and lol again at her being a warning. Parts were so funny like Julian getting hard on the tour bus while they're trying to keep warm *mental image*

[redgirlxx.livejournal.com]

Thanks for reading. Yeah I think someone a while ago kept trying to convince me that Dee is a warning. I just kept saying "yeah ok" and they got quite miffed. lol And yay for mental images. xD

[bringmebackadog.livejournal.com]

I heart Dee in this

you really can't spell, can you? Sucks to be you.

:D :D hahaa

[redgirlxx.livejournal.com]

I heart Dee. xD I'm a massive RID geek. Thanks for reading!

[catch-me-chris.livejournal.com]

hahaha this was ace!

MOAR!!! ;D

[redgirlxx.livejournal.com]

Glad you're enjoying it! xD
I promise more soon.

[directmydesire.livejournal.com]

Dee teased me all day cause I was dead chuffed and went all red after I'd seen him out.

That line made me absolutely beem! Cutest thing I've read in AGES! But this whole thing is adorable! I love the format and Noel's point of view and all the little bits of scenes! Absolutely fantastic! I want MORE! :)

[redgirlxx.livejournal.com]

Thank you. xD I wasn't sure this was going to work, I'm a drama student so writing monologue type stuff is my forte. You will get more soon. ;)

[rachellanuit.livejournal.com]

I am so up her mother's arse next time she comes to visit!

HAHA I laughed out loud at that. The last two entries were the best. I really liked this, I love it when slash includes Dee, having the two relationships simultaneously without either being compromised.

Well done! :)

[redgirlxx.livejournal.com]

Yeah,Again, massive RID fan. Have to keep both fandoms happy lol. Thank you for reading! xD

[shimmelk.livejournal.com]

Wow, you really got his voice down! I could totally hear it in my head and I MEGA loves me some Dee, carry on, good sir, carry on!

[redgirlxx.livejournal.com]

I will do good sir, I will do. xD
Ta muchly for reading!

[gracefulstalker.livejournal.com]

Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeliiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ever the slasher's best friend. Love that woman, you've captured her perfectly. And Noel, obv! Can't wait for next bit :]

[redgirlxx.livejournal.com]

She is rather amazing isn't she? Thank you for reading! xD

[gracefulstalker.livejournal.com]

I had a sexy dream about Noelish last night. I don't usually find him very attractive. I blame you. I stole gold jewellery from him in it. Warped.

[redgirlxx.livejournal.com]

Ha!xD

[redgirlxx.livejournal.com]

That is rather a cute comment. xD Thank you so much for reading!

[coeur_de_noir]

Oh Delia!

This was dead cute. I liked it ever so much ;-)

[redgirlxx.livejournal.com]

Thank You. I'm glad you enjoyed it xD

[ununpentium.livejournal.com]

lol, brilliant =]

[redgirlxx.livejournal.com]

xD Thabks so much

[sarkysue.livejournal.com]

OMG! Loved it, loved it, loved it.
Really like how you incorporate bits of fact (such as the melt down at NME in dress and band rehearsals and stuff), and weave it into this delicious story- gives it a lovely dimension.
More please!

[redgirlxx.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I totally took liberty xD
Thanks for reading, more fairly soon I promise

[elektropixie.livejournal.com]

that was too funny!

and sooo soo good, more i tells ya more!

[redgirlxx.livejournal.com]

Thanks for reading! Soon I tells ya soon! xD

[vous-et-moi.livejournal.com]

Aw thats amazing! I love Dee... too much maybe.

can't wait for more x x x

[redgirlxx.livejournal.com]

Yeah me too. xD
Thanks for reading.

[redgirlxx.livejournal.com]

no problems xD

[wannabemod.livejournal.com]

This is such a brilliant idea and the way you wrote it made me laugh so much my sides hurt! Get little Noelio with his schoolgirl crush on Julian, it's adorable!

The Dee warning only made me want to read this more, Dee's ace! I loved the way you wrote her in this :D

x.X.x

*Skips off to save this to memories*

[redgirlxx.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm only really good at monologuey type stuff, or replicating spontanous speech because I read plays a lot. And thanks for your comment. xD
I lv dee too.

[jackiethomas73.livejournal.com]

this was funny, lovely and a bit different. I liked the different voices and the take on the NME incident.

[thehomicidehoe.livejournal.com]

OH TEH CUTENESS.

I really like the format. And the whole relationship between Noel and Dee is total awesomeage.

<3

Any chance of some more?

[fecklesslyfine.livejournal.com]

This was ridiculously adorable in every best way possible. And I'll parrot everyone else, the Noel and Dee was darling and hilarious :] I would pay good money to see Noel dressed up like Julian, pretending to read one of his books :]

[redgirlxx.livejournal.com]

Thank you everyone for commenting! I didn't expect this xD
I'll post more later on today. xD

[stranglers-gal.livejournal.com]

So amazing!! Loved it - you have his voice down.