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booshslashhavenTitle: The Old Switcheroo (part 2 of 2)
Pairing: Howard/Vince, Noel/Julian
Summary: Howard and Julian wake up to find they've switched places. (It's not as lame as it sounds, I promise! Haha)
Word Count: 2, 282
Rating: PG. It's a big ball of fluff!
Disclaimer: No amount of wishing will make the boys mine, unfortunately.
Author’s Notes: Here's the second and final part. I hope you guys like it! And thanks for all the lovely comments on the first bit! I didn't really expect anyone to like this, haha. But I'm glad you did :D
Vince has been talking about David Bowie for at least an hour. He knows more about Bowie than Julian suspects either he or Noel know combined, which doesn't make a great deal of sense. He is now keenly aware of what Howard must put up with on a daily basis. Assuming Howard is real. Assuming Vince is real. Assuming that he hasn't just lost his marbles entirely and this is all in his mind.
After a while, the topic changes to Howard. Vince has apparently accepted that the man sitting in front of him that looks exactly like Howard is, in fact, not Howard. Julian was actually shocked when Vince seemed so genuinely concerned about why 'Howard' was acting so strangely earlier. He was sure they'd written Vince with less compassion - especially where the bigger man was concerned.
Vince traces a finger over the table cloth absent-mindedly, "I miss him."
Julian glances up, "He'll be back. Just as soon as someone works out how to switch us again." He hopes, vaguely, that this will cue Naboo and Bollo to return. It doesn't.
The smaller man studies Julian for a moment, "I'd always wondered what Howard would look like in better clothes" he muses. "Pretty good, actually." he flashes the bigger man a grin.
Julian has the distinct feeling that he's just been hit on by one of his own characters. Then again, it is Vince.
"Mind you" Vince continues, "Howard kind of has his own style going on. He looks good the way he is. I wouldn't want to change him..."
Julian smiles and glances up, meeting Vince's eyes. "Noel was completely right" he laughs, "You do love him."
Vince opens his mouth to say something, and then closes it quickly. After a moment, he simply stares at the table cloth and mumbles "A little bit, yeah"
*
After an hour of discussion, the Shaman Council had come up with a grand total of zero good ideas. Kirk had suggested forgetting it all and getting high, Saboo had the bright idea of just killing both Howard and Julian and, predictably, Tony Harrison had been outraged.
But, despite his constant state of outrage, Tony did have a gift for strategy.
"Ohh... What if... How about they write themselves back into their own worlds? That would make logical sense, wouldn't it?"
"That's an awful idea, Tony. In what reality would that actually work?" Saboo shot back.
"Ohh.. I dunno... fanfiction? It's better than your idea, Saboo, you slag."
"Silence!" the Head Shaman boomed, holding up one hand "I think Tony is onto something here - and I don't say that very often. Naboo, you must return and tell Julian to write himself out of this world, so he and Howard can return to their rightful places. Oh, and make sure you wipe their memories so nobody remembers what happened. Otherwise it will just be weird for everyone involved."
*
Naboo returns a little while later and tells Julian what he has to do. In turn, Julian rings Noel and tells him to write Howard back into his own world.
Julian finds a notebook and a pen amongst all the junk in the flat, and sets to work. For the first time, he finds it very hard to write. Biting his lip, he suddenly realises why. Noel isn't there. Peering over his shoulder, laughing, eating sweets, hugging him. All those things he finds annoying yet somehow very endearing.
Suddenly, Vince pokes his head over Julian's shoulder. The bigger man does a double take at the unexpected appearance of Noel's doppelganger. Vince clambers onto the arm of the lounge so he can get a better view of the other man's work.
Julian chews the end of the pen and stares pointedly at blank page, as if hoping that the story would simply form itself.
"What if you write... that you fall asleep and wake up back in your own world? Like how it happened before?"
That was so obvious, wasn't it? But it was as good an idea as any.
"Yeah" Julian agrees, and begins to scrawl the beginnings of a sentence onto the blank paper. "That'll work"
*
Noel knows Howard isn't a good writer. He thinks he is. But he's not. Noel knows this because he'd been the one to suggest this particular character trait.
"Why don't I do it?" he suggests, hopefully, after Howard screws up a third sheet of paper and throws it dramatically on the floor. "Since y'know, I write a telly show. Your telly show."
Howard gives an exasperated sigh and passes the pen and paper to Noel. "Maybe you better. I've got... writers block"
The smaller man laughs and pushes his fringe out of his eyes so he can see the page in front of him.
"How should we write you back, then? Anything you like, I'll write it, yeah?" Noel grins, idly scribbling on the top corner of the page, "Maybe you should ride in on a camel?," the smaller man mimes his interpretation of someone riding a camel, "'cos you've just been exploring the desert or something. You know, Howard Moon..." Noel stops himself before he says 'colon', "Famous explorer!"
Howard runs a hand through his messy brown hair, "That wouldn't work. I'd go into the desert, get halfway and then something would go horribly wrong. Remember the time I went to the Arctic to look for the Snow Leopard and yo-" he stopped, glancing at Noel, "uh, Vince, went to Spain?"
"Oh yeah" Noel laughs, still scribbling, "Vince and the Polar Bear just clicked. I liked that joke" he grins.
Howard feels slightly ill knowing that his whole life has literally been a joke.
*
Julian is halfway through his story, listening to Vince chatter away and offer the occasional ridiculous suggestion. He's amazed at how alike Vince and Noel really are. The main difference being that Vince is bitchier and more shallow. And Noel, surprisingly, dresses more like a tart. It's just that he doesn't often wander around in things quite as over-the-top as the mirrorball suit, unless he's promoting the show. He probably would if he could get away with it, though.
"So I'm on the telly in your world?" Vince asks, suddenly, "Does that mean I'm famous?"
"Yep" Julian replies, not taking his eyes off the page as he continues writing. "Its weird actually. You - well, Noel - is more of a rock star than a comedian" he laughs. "Girls throw their knickers at him. Boys, too, actually."
Vince grins, seeming to like what he's just been told. "So, you could write me as a proper pop star, couldn't you?"
The bigger man nods absently, "Guess so. But you're not really pop star material, Vince. You've got the look, but not much else, I'm sorry."
"Yeah, but the look is the main thing!"
"Uh huh" Julian chews on the end of his pen for a moment, "Do you think I should write my hangover in?" he laughs.
Vince peers over his page. "Wow, you could do anything, couldn't you?" he runs a hand through his black hair, "If it was me, I'd write myself waking up next to Howard. 'Cos I like that."
Julian laughs, "I probably would have woken up next to Noel, funnily enough. I bet Howard got a bit of a surprise this morning. Me and Noel were so smashed last night, we probably just fell on the floor together. That tends to happen. I bet Dee took photos, too. She always does"
The bigger man expects Vince to ask 'Who's Dee?' but instead, he quietly asks "Do you love Noel?"
Julian glances up, smiling awkwardly. It's one of those smiles that says 'I have no idea how to respond to that', one that often appears when he's doing interviews. He's never been good with questions. And he's definitely been asked that one a lot. Without replying, his eyes dart back to the page in front of him and he continues the sentence he left unfinished.
"That's a yes, then?" Vince grins, peeking out from under his fringe at Julian. The other man stops writing and fixes the paper in front of him with a purposeful stare.
The bigger man makes a sort of nondescript noise which doesn't seem to really confirm or deny the question. After a moment, with Vince looking at him expectantly, he simply says, "Everyone loves Noel".
*
"You said that you and Vince were watching a film last night, right?" Noel asks, having completely covered a page of his notebook in sketches, but succeeding in writing absolutely nothing.
"Yeah" Howard nods, "I wish we hadn't, though. I'll never look at a tomato again without suspecting that it wants to kill me."
Noel laughs, "Alright, so how about I write that you and Vince are watching something else - y'know, something less terrifying - and then you both fall asleep on the couch. Then you can wake up there and it'll all be good again, yeah?"
The bigger man nods, playing with the cuff of his shirt. "Could you... uh..." he glances away, "Make Vince fall asleep on me?"
A grin spreads across Noel's face and he winks, "Gotcha."
*
"I'm going to make a cup of coffee" Julian finally announces, throwing the notebook onto the table in front of him. Vince eyes it for a moment, lingering on the discarded pen and paper, before he manages to drag his gaze away to look at the bigger man.
"Yeah, alright" Vince replies, attention drawn suddenly back to the note pad. The temptation is killing him. "Can I add something?" he finally asks.
Julian glances up from behind a cupboard door, "Like what?"
Vince shrugs, "Just something little. Don't worry, I won't mess anything up!"
The bigger man looks at him sceptically, "You can't spell, Vince."
The other man rolls his eyes, "I'm not going to write any big words, alright?"
Giving up, Julian sticks his head back into the cupboard in search for a mug. "Okay, go ahead."
Vince reaches forward and grabs the pen and paper, eyes skipping up to the top of the page to read what was already there. When he finishes, he adds his own paragraph to the bottom of the page.
Noel has an arm around Julians waist and is cudled into his back. Noel aks what the time is sleepy-ly as he snuggles closer. Oppening his eyes, Julian sees that the cock reads 8:00.Neth nieth none they both dont feel liek geting up, so they lie there for ages.
Seeming satisfied with his addition, Vince grins and returns the notebook and pen to the table. Julian yawns sleepily behind him, and the smaller man glances around.
"I'm just gunna go lay down" the bigger man says tiredly, pointing at the other sofa which he is already heading towards. He drops onto it with a dull thump and promptly falls asleep.
*
Howard is fighting to keep his eyes open as Noel adds the final lines to the story. The bed looks so comfy. He feels himself falling backwards but finds it impossible to stop. He falls fast asleep as soon as his head hits the mattress.
*
Someone is shoving him. He murmurs sleepily into the cover of his duvet. Hold on, that's not his duvet. There's not even a duvet there. Oh, that's right, this is probably the lounge. The last thing he remembers is watching a movie with Vince. Some kind of musical. He has no idea what the plot was supposed to be - he stopped focusing on the screen after Vince put his head on his shoulder and started cuddling into him.
It occurs to him suddenly that he has an arm wrapped around someone else's waist. It's quite a small waist, but there's not much chance of it being a girl. No, whoever it is smells exactly like Vince. Watermelon shampoo, sweets... it's Vince. And Vince is shoving into him with an elbow.
Opening one eye, he watches as Vince tries to roll over in his sleep, but finds himself partially trapped by the bigger man's protective arm. Loosening his grip, Howard lets the smaller man roll over. Vince presses his head into the bigger man's chest, and the little man makes a small, contented noise as he snuggles closer.
*
His head doesn't hurt in the slightest. That is the first thing that occurs to him. This is surprising mainly because of the amount he had to drink last night. He isn't entirely sure just how much he downed last night, but he settles on 'a lot'. The second thing that occurs to him is that he hasn't managed to make it to a bed. This is not surprising.
The third thing that occurs to him is that there is an arm around his waist and a warm body cuddled into his back. It's a thin arm. There's about a ninety-nine percent chance that it's Noel. A sleepy voice in his ear confirms his suspicions.
"Wha's th'time...?" a voice - definitely Noel's - asks.
Julian blinks open his eyes.
Now he is surprised. Very surprised. For some reason that he cannot explain, there's a rooster sitting on the bedside table. An open book lays in front of it. In the most proper accent Julian has ever heard, it reads out "Eight o'clock!"
Noel's head appears over his face, looking utterly confused.
"That's not right. I'm going back to sleep" he says simply, dropping back to Julian's side and pulling himself closer. Unable to comprehend what has just happened, Julian decides to follow the smaller man's lead and goes back to sleep.
*
Pairing: Howard/Vince, Noel/Julian
Summary: Howard and Julian wake up to find they've switched places. (It's not as lame as it sounds, I promise! Haha)
Word Count: 2, 282
Rating: PG. It's a big ball of fluff!
Disclaimer: No amount of wishing will make the boys mine, unfortunately.
Author’s Notes: Here's the second and final part. I hope you guys like it! And thanks for all the lovely comments on the first bit! I didn't really expect anyone to like this, haha. But I'm glad you did :D
Vince has been talking about David Bowie for at least an hour. He knows more about Bowie than Julian suspects either he or Noel know combined, which doesn't make a great deal of sense. He is now keenly aware of what Howard must put up with on a daily basis. Assuming Howard is real. Assuming Vince is real. Assuming that he hasn't just lost his marbles entirely and this is all in his mind.
After a while, the topic changes to Howard. Vince has apparently accepted that the man sitting in front of him that looks exactly like Howard is, in fact, not Howard. Julian was actually shocked when Vince seemed so genuinely concerned about why 'Howard' was acting so strangely earlier. He was sure they'd written Vince with less compassion - especially where the bigger man was concerned.
Vince traces a finger over the table cloth absent-mindedly, "I miss him."
Julian glances up, "He'll be back. Just as soon as someone works out how to switch us again." He hopes, vaguely, that this will cue Naboo and Bollo to return. It doesn't.
The smaller man studies Julian for a moment, "I'd always wondered what Howard would look like in better clothes" he muses. "Pretty good, actually." he flashes the bigger man a grin.
Julian has the distinct feeling that he's just been hit on by one of his own characters. Then again, it is Vince.
"Mind you" Vince continues, "Howard kind of has his own style going on. He looks good the way he is. I wouldn't want to change him..."
Julian smiles and glances up, meeting Vince's eyes. "Noel was completely right" he laughs, "You do love him."
Vince opens his mouth to say something, and then closes it quickly. After a moment, he simply stares at the table cloth and mumbles "A little bit, yeah"
*
After an hour of discussion, the Shaman Council had come up with a grand total of zero good ideas. Kirk had suggested forgetting it all and getting high, Saboo had the bright idea of just killing both Howard and Julian and, predictably, Tony Harrison had been outraged.
But, despite his constant state of outrage, Tony did have a gift for strategy.
"Ohh... What if... How about they write themselves back into their own worlds? That would make logical sense, wouldn't it?"
"That's an awful idea, Tony. In what reality would that actually work?" Saboo shot back.
"Ohh.. I dunno... fanfiction? It's better than your idea, Saboo, you slag."
"Silence!" the Head Shaman boomed, holding up one hand "I think Tony is onto something here - and I don't say that very often. Naboo, you must return and tell Julian to write himself out of this world, so he and Howard can return to their rightful places. Oh, and make sure you wipe their memories so nobody remembers what happened. Otherwise it will just be weird for everyone involved."
*
Naboo returns a little while later and tells Julian what he has to do. In turn, Julian rings Noel and tells him to write Howard back into his own world.
Julian finds a notebook and a pen amongst all the junk in the flat, and sets to work. For the first time, he finds it very hard to write. Biting his lip, he suddenly realises why. Noel isn't there. Peering over his shoulder, laughing, eating sweets, hugging him. All those things he finds annoying yet somehow very endearing.
Suddenly, Vince pokes his head over Julian's shoulder. The bigger man does a double take at the unexpected appearance of Noel's doppelganger. Vince clambers onto the arm of the lounge so he can get a better view of the other man's work.
Julian chews the end of the pen and stares pointedly at blank page, as if hoping that the story would simply form itself.
"What if you write... that you fall asleep and wake up back in your own world? Like how it happened before?"
That was so obvious, wasn't it? But it was as good an idea as any.
"Yeah" Julian agrees, and begins to scrawl the beginnings of a sentence onto the blank paper. "That'll work"
*
Noel knows Howard isn't a good writer. He thinks he is. But he's not. Noel knows this because he'd been the one to suggest this particular character trait.
"Why don't I do it?" he suggests, hopefully, after Howard screws up a third sheet of paper and throws it dramatically on the floor. "Since y'know, I write a telly show. Your telly show."
Howard gives an exasperated sigh and passes the pen and paper to Noel. "Maybe you better. I've got... writers block"
The smaller man laughs and pushes his fringe out of his eyes so he can see the page in front of him.
"How should we write you back, then? Anything you like, I'll write it, yeah?" Noel grins, idly scribbling on the top corner of the page, "Maybe you should ride in on a camel?," the smaller man mimes his interpretation of someone riding a camel, "'cos you've just been exploring the desert or something. You know, Howard Moon..." Noel stops himself before he says 'colon', "Famous explorer!"
Howard runs a hand through his messy brown hair, "That wouldn't work. I'd go into the desert, get halfway and then something would go horribly wrong. Remember the time I went to the Arctic to look for the Snow Leopard and yo-" he stopped, glancing at Noel, "uh, Vince, went to Spain?"
"Oh yeah" Noel laughs, still scribbling, "Vince and the Polar Bear just clicked. I liked that joke" he grins.
Howard feels slightly ill knowing that his whole life has literally been a joke.
*
Julian is halfway through his story, listening to Vince chatter away and offer the occasional ridiculous suggestion. He's amazed at how alike Vince and Noel really are. The main difference being that Vince is bitchier and more shallow. And Noel, surprisingly, dresses more like a tart. It's just that he doesn't often wander around in things quite as over-the-top as the mirrorball suit, unless he's promoting the show. He probably would if he could get away with it, though.
"So I'm on the telly in your world?" Vince asks, suddenly, "Does that mean I'm famous?"
"Yep" Julian replies, not taking his eyes off the page as he continues writing. "Its weird actually. You - well, Noel - is more of a rock star than a comedian" he laughs. "Girls throw their knickers at him. Boys, too, actually."
Vince grins, seeming to like what he's just been told. "So, you could write me as a proper pop star, couldn't you?"
The bigger man nods absently, "Guess so. But you're not really pop star material, Vince. You've got the look, but not much else, I'm sorry."
"Yeah, but the look is the main thing!"
"Uh huh" Julian chews on the end of his pen for a moment, "Do you think I should write my hangover in?" he laughs.
Vince peers over his page. "Wow, you could do anything, couldn't you?" he runs a hand through his black hair, "If it was me, I'd write myself waking up next to Howard. 'Cos I like that."
Julian laughs, "I probably would have woken up next to Noel, funnily enough. I bet Howard got a bit of a surprise this morning. Me and Noel were so smashed last night, we probably just fell on the floor together. That tends to happen. I bet Dee took photos, too. She always does"
The bigger man expects Vince to ask 'Who's Dee?' but instead, he quietly asks "Do you love Noel?"
Julian glances up, smiling awkwardly. It's one of those smiles that says 'I have no idea how to respond to that', one that often appears when he's doing interviews. He's never been good with questions. And he's definitely been asked that one a lot. Without replying, his eyes dart back to the page in front of him and he continues the sentence he left unfinished.
"That's a yes, then?" Vince grins, peeking out from under his fringe at Julian. The other man stops writing and fixes the paper in front of him with a purposeful stare.
The bigger man makes a sort of nondescript noise which doesn't seem to really confirm or deny the question. After a moment, with Vince looking at him expectantly, he simply says, "Everyone loves Noel".
*
"You said that you and Vince were watching a film last night, right?" Noel asks, having completely covered a page of his notebook in sketches, but succeeding in writing absolutely nothing.
"Yeah" Howard nods, "I wish we hadn't, though. I'll never look at a tomato again without suspecting that it wants to kill me."
Noel laughs, "Alright, so how about I write that you and Vince are watching something else - y'know, something less terrifying - and then you both fall asleep on the couch. Then you can wake up there and it'll all be good again, yeah?"
The bigger man nods, playing with the cuff of his shirt. "Could you... uh..." he glances away, "Make Vince fall asleep on me?"
A grin spreads across Noel's face and he winks, "Gotcha."
*
"I'm going to make a cup of coffee" Julian finally announces, throwing the notebook onto the table in front of him. Vince eyes it for a moment, lingering on the discarded pen and paper, before he manages to drag his gaze away to look at the bigger man.
"Yeah, alright" Vince replies, attention drawn suddenly back to the note pad. The temptation is killing him. "Can I add something?" he finally asks.
Julian glances up from behind a cupboard door, "Like what?"
Vince shrugs, "Just something little. Don't worry, I won't mess anything up!"
The bigger man looks at him sceptically, "You can't spell, Vince."
The other man rolls his eyes, "I'm not going to write any big words, alright?"
Giving up, Julian sticks his head back into the cupboard in search for a mug. "Okay, go ahead."
Vince reaches forward and grabs the pen and paper, eyes skipping up to the top of the page to read what was already there. When he finishes, he adds his own paragraph to the bottom of the page.
Noel has an arm around Julians waist and is cudled into his back. Noel aks what the time is sleepy-ly as he snuggles closer. Oppening his eyes, Julian sees that the cock reads 8:00.
Seeming satisfied with his addition, Vince grins and returns the notebook and pen to the table. Julian yawns sleepily behind him, and the smaller man glances around.
"I'm just gunna go lay down" the bigger man says tiredly, pointing at the other sofa which he is already heading towards. He drops onto it with a dull thump and promptly falls asleep.
*
Howard is fighting to keep his eyes open as Noel adds the final lines to the story. The bed looks so comfy. He feels himself falling backwards but finds it impossible to stop. He falls fast asleep as soon as his head hits the mattress.
*
Someone is shoving him. He murmurs sleepily into the cover of his duvet. Hold on, that's not his duvet. There's not even a duvet there. Oh, that's right, this is probably the lounge. The last thing he remembers is watching a movie with Vince. Some kind of musical. He has no idea what the plot was supposed to be - he stopped focusing on the screen after Vince put his head on his shoulder and started cuddling into him.
It occurs to him suddenly that he has an arm wrapped around someone else's waist. It's quite a small waist, but there's not much chance of it being a girl. No, whoever it is smells exactly like Vince. Watermelon shampoo, sweets... it's Vince. And Vince is shoving into him with an elbow.
Opening one eye, he watches as Vince tries to roll over in his sleep, but finds himself partially trapped by the bigger man's protective arm. Loosening his grip, Howard lets the smaller man roll over. Vince presses his head into the bigger man's chest, and the little man makes a small, contented noise as he snuggles closer.
*
His head doesn't hurt in the slightest. That is the first thing that occurs to him. This is surprising mainly because of the amount he had to drink last night. He isn't entirely sure just how much he downed last night, but he settles on 'a lot'. The second thing that occurs to him is that he hasn't managed to make it to a bed. This is not surprising.
The third thing that occurs to him is that there is an arm around his waist and a warm body cuddled into his back. It's a thin arm. There's about a ninety-nine percent chance that it's Noel. A sleepy voice in his ear confirms his suspicions.
"Wha's th'time...?" a voice - definitely Noel's - asks.
Julian blinks open his eyes.
Now he is surprised. Very surprised. For some reason that he cannot explain, there's a rooster sitting on the bedside table. An open book lays in front of it. In the most proper accent Julian has ever heard, it reads out "Eight o'clock!"
Noel's head appears over his face, looking utterly confused.
"That's not right. I'm going back to sleep" he says simply, dropping back to Julian's side and pulling himself closer. Unable to comprehend what has just happened, Julian decides to follow the smaller man's lead and goes back to sleep.
*
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