booshslashhaven | Office Weirdo's

Title: Office Weirdo's
Pairing: Dan Ashcroft/ Richmond
Disclaimer: Please dont sue me i've got so little to give!
Warnings: Swearing, bad spelling probably. And its really rubbish. I'm on stealth mode so I'm leaving it to imagination.
Summary: Ashcroft's new piece on Computer Nerds.
A/N: I had this idea at like 2 in the morning, I love Ashcroft. I love Richmond. I dunno if it will actually work, but I can give it a go.

Richmond jumped as someone knocked on the basement door.
The man entered. "Urm. Hi." He said weary of the goth standing before him. "I'm looking for Jen Barber.. I'm Dan Ashcroft from Sugar Ape, I'm donig an article on computer... nerds."
"They've gone out." Richmond explained, his voice soft and gentle.
"Well do you know when they'll be back?" Dan asked.
Richmond shrugged. "Not sure."
"Alright, well do you mind if I talk to you for a bit?"
Richmond shrugged and sat down.
Dan sat opposite him. The idiots are winning. He thought. "Right.. What sort of stuff do you do down here?"
Richmond smiled and looked up at Dan. "Shall I show you?"
Dan didnt like the look on Richmond's face. "Can't you just tell me?"
Richmond pointed to the red door. "I stay in there most of the time. I'm not aloud to come out."
"But you're out now.."
"They dont like me to come out."
"Who dont?"
"Moss and Roy. Jen doesnt mind. Jen's lovely."
"Right. So what do you do exactly? Just sit in a cupboard?"
"They put me in charge of the big machine. I dont know what it does."
"Can I reccomend you to my sister? She's making a film about social outcasts. You'd be perfect."
Richmond smiled again. "Do I amaze you?"
Dan sighed, he wanted to say yes. "You dont know anything about computers? This is hopeless."
"They're back now."
"How do you know?"
Moss, Roy and Jen walked into the basement.
"Oh look, Richmond's still alive." Moss said.
"Who's the guy?" Roy whispered.
"Hello." Jen greeted. "You must be Daniel Ashcroft?"
"Dan."
"Hello. I'm Jen we spoke earlier."
"What's he here for?" Moss asked, bluntly.
"I'm here to see the Goth." Dan blurted out.
Richmond looked at him in a state of shock, the same shocked look he had on his face most of the time.
"What did you say your name was?"
"Richmond?" Roy asked, "You came here to see Richmond?"
"I thought your article was about computer Nerds or something?" Jen asked politely.
"No. Goths. Yeah.."
Richmond blushed behind pasty white make up. "You want to do an article about me?"
"Yeah." Dan stood up. "Now what was it you wanted to show me?"
Richmond smiled and lead Dan into his room. "What do you want to ask me about?"
Dan had to ask. "I'd like to start by sucking you off."
Richmond's eyebrows raised. "Ooh bloody hell."
"Yeah.. See I've never had a Goth before Richard-"
"Richmond."
"Richmond. And yes. You do amaze me."
"But you've only just met me."
"Yet I am amazed."
"I'm very flattered-"
Dan brushed up against Richmond's thigh. "Then say you'll do it."
"Is it for your article?"
"No. I've never met a man who's aroused me at first glance... I've never met a man who's aroused me full stop."
"I think you're beautiful Dan, But I'm not sure about it...If you can change my mind, I'll let you do it."
Dan grabbed Richmond's face and got off with him. Richmond was reluctant but eventually started tounging him back.
Richmond nodded behind the kiss.
Dan pulled back. "Was that a yes?"
Richmond curled up his tounge and nodded. "Do you mind if I put a song on?"
"Be my guest."
"I always imagined my first time with a man, if I were to have one, would be to this song. It's a perfect song."
Richmond put his song on.
"What the fuck is this?" Dan asked, squinting at the stereo.
"It's Cradle Of Filth.. It sounds horrible but its actually quite beautiful." Richmond spun around and peeled open his jeans. "Do you still want to do it?"
Dan shuffled forward and dropped to his knees.
Richmond smiled down at him.

"What's that noise?" Jen asked.
"What noise?" Roy replied, squinting to hear a noise.
'Ooh. Ooh dear. Ooh bloody hell. Do I amaze you?'
"Sound's like Richmond's having an orgasm." Moss said simply.
Roy gasped. "It is Richmond having an orgasm!!"

Richmond writhed about as Dan teased and tormented delecate skin.
Richmond adopted a nosferatu type posture.
Dan had a flashback to the time he got that builder off in the toilet. This was exactly like that. Doing something sexual to someone he didnt even know.
But he had to do it to the builder.
Richmond was free will.
And the act lasted for the whole of the Cradle Of Filth song.
Richmond came and Dan spat out the bitter fluid.
Dan stood up. "Thank you."
"Thank you."
Dan walked back out into the main area.
"Get everything you need?" Roy joked.
Dan wiped his mouth. "Yeah, yeah i think so.."

*

BEEEEP
"AAAASHCROOOOOOOOFFT!" The office of Sugar Ape erupted.
Dan got to work right away.
'You've seen them. Goths. Hanging our cemetaries being miserable.
Well Goths are people too, sit down and let Dan Ashcroft let you in on the world of a very special goth...'