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booshslashhavenTitle: Howard’s Secret Admirer
Pairing: pre-slash Howard/Vince
Summary/Prompt: Vince receives all kinds of Valentines from his followers on Valentine's Day, but is surprised to find a Valentine card for Howard in the mix. Howard refuses to tell Vince who the Valentine is from. Vince gets jealous.
Word Count: 1088
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Is this even necessary?
Author’s Notes: I am dipping my toe back into the world of fanfiction after a decade’s absence. I hope I don’t do too terribly.
Howard Moon returned home from an early morning jazz session to see the flat in a deplorable state. Piles of colorful envelopes and carefully gift wrapped packages cluttered the main room; even more discarded envelopes and gift wrap covered the spaces inbetween. Vince lounged next to a particularly large stack. He popped a chocolate into his mouth as he read a letter that was a nauseating shade of lavender. Howard grimaced; he had forgotten what day it was.
Vince finally took notice of him, “Oi, Howard, you want a chocolate?” He offered a half empty box in Howard’s direction.
“No, thank you. Howard Moon has no need for second hand confectionaries. I could receive chocolates and flashy presents too, you know, if I gave way to the frivolities you engage in. A modern gentleman, such as myself, attracts a higher caliber of women.”
“What, you mean imaginary women?” Vince retorted. “There’s no need to get all bent out of shape. I just thought you might want one, is all.”
“Yeah? Well ,you thought wrong.” Howard made his way to the kitchen to make himself some tea. He kept an eye on Vince as he started he kettle.
Vince discarded the letter he had been reading and reached into the stack for another. He withdrew his hand swiftly.
“What’s the matter?” Howard called out. He came closer to get a better look.
“Ugh, it’s so bland!” Vince exclaimed as he wiped his hand on his trouser leg as if the blandness might rub off on him.
Howard looked towards the source of his friend’s contempt. A corner of beige peeked out from the sea of color. He leaned down and picked up the envelope. ‘Howard’ was written on the front in plain script. He gave Vince a smug smile. “It’s for me.”
“Figures. What woman can’t even pick an envelope with a proper color?”
“That’s an exhilarating ecru, the most edgy shade in the beige family.”
Howard opened the envelope with care and unfolded the letter. He cleared his throat, “Oh, my sweet knight, I was immediately taken with your commanding figure. Your mustache a magnificent chestnut, your eyes like two chestnut dew drops, make my heart burn with passion. I imagine our future, you playing some sweet jazz tunes whilst I finish my third best selling novel. I long for you, Howard Moon. My heart is yours; signed, your valentine.”
Howard looked up from his letter to see that Vince had already returned his attention to his presents.
“Well?” Howard asked.
“Seems like you’ve found a real nutter,” Vince said without looking up.
“She’s not a nutter. She is just a woman of passion.”
This caught Vince’s attention. “You know this loon?” He asked incredulously.
“No...er...I may have an idea who it could be.”
Vince laughed, “as if you know any women.”
“I’ll have you know. I’ve courted many a lady in my time. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll tend to the shop, since it looks like you won’t be doing any work today.” Howard made his way to the stairs.
“What about your tea?” Vince called after him.
“Nevermind the tea!” Howard snapped as he stormed down the stairs, Vince’s mocking laugh following him all the way.
Vince tried to concentrate on reading his valentines, but Howard’s letter kept creeping into his thoughts. There’s no way Howard could have a secret admirer. He’d never seen a lady so much as give Howard a second glance, let alone fall in love with him. This called for an investigation. It was for Howard’s own good. This secret admirer could be dangerous. She’s already proved her strange tastes by her choice in love interest.
Vince stood up and crept towards the stairs. He tiptoed down them and found a good spying location.
He watched Howard from his hiding place. Howard was consumed in his task of rearranging his Jazz LPs. A rather dull looking woman entered the shop. Howard looked in her direction and smiled while greeting her. Vince tensed up. Maybe this this was the woman; she had even smiled back at the greeting. On the other hand, she looked way too normal to have a thing for Hawaiian shirts and stationary. She browsed on the opposite end of the shop from Howard without a word. Vince knew she couldn’t have been the one to send that horrid letter.
Time passed and the woman left. Howard had finished with the LPs and was about to start construction on stationary village, when the phone rang. Vince tried to figure out the conversation by Howards end alone. The shop rarely received calls, so there was a chance that this could be the mystery woman. She would be the type to make phone calls. All his suspicions vanished when Howard loudly insisted, “No, sir, we do not sell taxidermied encephalopods,” in a dismissive tone.
Even more time passed and Howard’s secret admirer still had not shown up. Vince was stiff and bored from his spying. Perhaps a new plan of action was required. He decided to brainstorm ideas. He made his way to the bedroom and reached under his bed for his crayons and paper. His hands turned up empty. After a few more unsuccessful attempts to find his writing materials, he gave up. Howard’s tidy desk caught his eye. Howard had forbade him from ever going near it, but Howard didn’t have to know. Vince knew that Howard kept paper and pens in the second drawer down. He crept to the desk, looking about as if his roommate would burst in at any moment. He opened the drawer to find a very familiar stationary set and some crumpled up bits of paper. Vince lips curved into a malicious grin.
“HOWARD!” Vince called as he trotted down the stairs with the evidence of his friend’s deceit in his hands. He knew no woman could ever fall for Howard.
end note: If you look closely you can pinpoint the exact moment when I lost the will to keep writing this fic.
Pairing: pre-slash Howard/Vince
Summary/Prompt: Vince receives all kinds of Valentines from his followers on Valentine's Day, but is surprised to find a Valentine card for Howard in the mix. Howard refuses to tell Vince who the Valentine is from. Vince gets jealous.
Word Count: 1088
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Is this even necessary?
Author’s Notes: I am dipping my toe back into the world of fanfiction after a decade’s absence. I hope I don’t do too terribly.
Howard Moon returned home from an early morning jazz session to see the flat in a deplorable state. Piles of colorful envelopes and carefully gift wrapped packages cluttered the main room; even more discarded envelopes and gift wrap covered the spaces inbetween. Vince lounged next to a particularly large stack. He popped a chocolate into his mouth as he read a letter that was a nauseating shade of lavender. Howard grimaced; he had forgotten what day it was.
Vince finally took notice of him, “Oi, Howard, you want a chocolate?” He offered a half empty box in Howard’s direction.
“No, thank you. Howard Moon has no need for second hand confectionaries. I could receive chocolates and flashy presents too, you know, if I gave way to the frivolities you engage in. A modern gentleman, such as myself, attracts a higher caliber of women.”
“What, you mean imaginary women?” Vince retorted. “There’s no need to get all bent out of shape. I just thought you might want one, is all.”
“Yeah? Well ,you thought wrong.” Howard made his way to the kitchen to make himself some tea. He kept an eye on Vince as he started he kettle.
Vince discarded the letter he had been reading and reached into the stack for another. He withdrew his hand swiftly.
“What’s the matter?” Howard called out. He came closer to get a better look.
“Ugh, it’s so bland!” Vince exclaimed as he wiped his hand on his trouser leg as if the blandness might rub off on him.
Howard looked towards the source of his friend’s contempt. A corner of beige peeked out from the sea of color. He leaned down and picked up the envelope. ‘Howard’ was written on the front in plain script. He gave Vince a smug smile. “It’s for me.”
“Figures. What woman can’t even pick an envelope with a proper color?”
“That’s an exhilarating ecru, the most edgy shade in the beige family.”
Howard opened the envelope with care and unfolded the letter. He cleared his throat, “Oh, my sweet knight, I was immediately taken with your commanding figure. Your mustache a magnificent chestnut, your eyes like two chestnut dew drops, make my heart burn with passion. I imagine our future, you playing some sweet jazz tunes whilst I finish my third best selling novel. I long for you, Howard Moon. My heart is yours; signed, your valentine.”
Howard looked up from his letter to see that Vince had already returned his attention to his presents.
“Well?” Howard asked.
“Seems like you’ve found a real nutter,” Vince said without looking up.
“She’s not a nutter. She is just a woman of passion.”
This caught Vince’s attention. “You know this loon?” He asked incredulously.
“No...er...I may have an idea who it could be.”
Vince laughed, “as if you know any women.”
“I’ll have you know. I’ve courted many a lady in my time. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll tend to the shop, since it looks like you won’t be doing any work today.” Howard made his way to the stairs.
“What about your tea?” Vince called after him.
“Nevermind the tea!” Howard snapped as he stormed down the stairs, Vince’s mocking laugh following him all the way.
Vince tried to concentrate on reading his valentines, but Howard’s letter kept creeping into his thoughts. There’s no way Howard could have a secret admirer. He’d never seen a lady so much as give Howard a second glance, let alone fall in love with him. This called for an investigation. It was for Howard’s own good. This secret admirer could be dangerous. She’s already proved her strange tastes by her choice in love interest.
Vince stood up and crept towards the stairs. He tiptoed down them and found a good spying location.
He watched Howard from his hiding place. Howard was consumed in his task of rearranging his Jazz LPs. A rather dull looking woman entered the shop. Howard looked in her direction and smiled while greeting her. Vince tensed up. Maybe this this was the woman; she had even smiled back at the greeting. On the other hand, she looked way too normal to have a thing for Hawaiian shirts and stationary. She browsed on the opposite end of the shop from Howard without a word. Vince knew she couldn’t have been the one to send that horrid letter.
Time passed and the woman left. Howard had finished with the LPs and was about to start construction on stationary village, when the phone rang. Vince tried to figure out the conversation by Howards end alone. The shop rarely received calls, so there was a chance that this could be the mystery woman. She would be the type to make phone calls. All his suspicions vanished when Howard loudly insisted, “No, sir, we do not sell taxidermied encephalopods,” in a dismissive tone.
Even more time passed and Howard’s secret admirer still had not shown up. Vince was stiff and bored from his spying. Perhaps a new plan of action was required. He decided to brainstorm ideas. He made his way to the bedroom and reached under his bed for his crayons and paper. His hands turned up empty. After a few more unsuccessful attempts to find his writing materials, he gave up. Howard’s tidy desk caught his eye. Howard had forbade him from ever going near it, but Howard didn’t have to know. Vince knew that Howard kept paper and pens in the second drawer down. He crept to the desk, looking about as if his roommate would burst in at any moment. He opened the drawer to find a very familiar stationary set and some crumpled up bits of paper. Vince lips curved into a malicious grin.
“HOWARD!” Vince called as he trotted down the stairs with the evidence of his friend’s deceit in his hands. He knew no woman could ever fall for Howard.
end note: If you look closely you can pinpoint the exact moment when I lost the will to keep writing this fic.
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no subject
Date: 2013-02-22 04:20 pm (UTC)Also, I have to say this line: “That’s an exhilarating ecru, the most edgy shade in the beige family.”
Was so utterly perfect that I'm surprised it actually hadn't been used in the show.
no subject
Date: 2013-02-23 12:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-02-22 06:30 pm (UTC)I want a followup among the stationery in the stock cupboard after Vince has confronted Howard with the evidence and told him a few home truths...
no subject
Date: 2013-02-23 12:11 am (UTC)I'm glad the valentine letter worked. I had to google how to write a love letter; which is a pretty Howard thing to do , I guess.
no subject
Date: 2013-02-22 10:00 pm (UTC)Poor old Howard. Looking forward to Vince setting him on the right path.
no subject
Date: 2013-02-23 12:12 am (UTC)