FIC: Mint Royale AU - Desperanto - R

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

Title: Gay Paree Desperanto
Pairing: Moon/Noir - my Mint Royale bankrobbers AU
Summary: Moon taking Noir to Paris just for a dirty weekend. Bumming. BUMMING. Perhaps some bumming. Several small scraps of fic. None of them stand up on their own, but they're not too bad all bunched together. Set after Stockholm Syndrome but it's not chapter 8, it's just... a thing. I did everything I wanted to do there, now I'm just fooling around. (translation: PORN.)
Wordcount: 9182. This somehow managed to get EPIC without actually going anywhere or saying anything at all. Oh well.
Rating: R?
Warnings: ...fluff? Porn? Fluffy porn? (And a gun.) Dirtytalk in French. (I am blushing so hard.) B's vendetta against The Da Vinci Code and everybody who likes it. (WHOOPS, I meant Moon's.)
Disclaimer: Character names aren't mine.
Notes: For trickpie! :D <3

<lj-cut text="This keeps getting more and more ridiculous and soapy.> [ I've been having a massive headache lately with anonymous idiots sending reams and reams of flamey abusive messages and I'm sick of it. Drastic action, but I'm pulling this version of the story from everywhere. More details here: http://gypsyfic.livejournal.com/8512.html The story <i>is</i> still available, just in a slightly different format. I'm putting this note here as a placeholder until I can edit the new version in (I don't want to break anyone's links) but if that's not allowed then of course just delete the post, mods. :) Thanks! ]

Comments

TRANSLATIONS:

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

Ne sois jamais jaloux: Never be jealous
C'est toi que j'aime: It's you I love
L'égérie de Monsieur Ashcroft: Mr Ashcroft's muse
Je vais lecher ton foutre: I'm going to swallow your come
Regarde-moi bien: Look at me
Baise-moi: Fuck me
Tu aimes me baiser, non?: You like fucking me, don't you?
Je sais que tu l'adores: I know you love it
Je veux juste te faire plaisir: I only want to please you
juste comme ça: just like that
je t'aime: I love you
j'ai besoin de toi: I need you
je t'en prie: I beg you
fais-moi voir les étoiles: make me see stars
J'aime ta bite dans moi: I like your cock in me
j'aime quand tu es... je ne sais pas le mot: I like when you're... I don't know the word
J'aime quand tu deviens...: I like when you get... [hard]
je te sens dans moi: I can feel you in me
je l'aime: I love it
s'il te plaît: please
Donne-moi ton foutre: Give me your come


Excuse me, I'm going away to SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST into an embarrassed little heap of ashes.

Re: TRANSLATIONS:

[justwolf.livejournal.com]

Thank you SO MUCH for the translations! They make it EVEN hotter. Yum.

[coeur_de_noir]

There are so many things I loved about this that I am not even going to START relating them to you. But oh, B, I cant help but say just this one thing: The blending of Noel/Noir/Vince/Jones, the Louvre.. AH. You're making me love him more every time I read something with him in it!

Gossamer kisses, ftw.

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

They needed fake names, Ashcroft and Jones were the obvious choices. ;) YAY thank you, I'm so glad it's still holding up and you're not sick of me yet. <3

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

This is a good thing, I hope? D:

[ziozio.livejournal.com]

ksjdhgsakjs i make a crazy noise when i even just saw that you posted this, and im so glad noone was home to hear my random squeels as i actually read it.

omg.

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

Haha, thank you!

[gillengirl.livejournal.com]

tell me it never has to end?

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

I'm going to be the last person in the world who's bored by this, I'll be in it for a while yet. ;) Thank you!

[jcheartsboosh.livejournal.com]

You don't no how much I've been wanting to read more of your MR stuff!
I adore your characters because no matter what really happens, you know they love each other a seriously dangerous amount!

Loved seeing Moon as the insecure and needy one briefly - genius.

'This is the first time ever that Noir hasn't been pestering him to hold hands or buy him something or go somewhere else because he's bored. A good thing, really. Isn't it? He shoves his hands deep in his pockets and feels a bit lost - a bit, weirdly, like he's the uncultured brainless one, even though it's Noir standing there in a scarlet cowboy hat and a Doors t-shirt with his mouth gaping open like he's seconds away from drooling.'

This was amazing, hope to read more soon, pretty please. :)

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

There's a few more on the archive (http://boosh.queertet.net/sec/archive/viewuser.php?uid=1091) I never posted here, if you've not seen them?

Thank you! :D

[wildebrian.livejournal.com]

HI MUMMY.

*Leer*

[redgirlxx.livejournal.com]

Is it sad that I didn't need the translations? lol Having a french boy friend alway helps xD...oh my god, I've just realised how that sounds..
I can't actually have enough of this pair. Just everything..perfect. I loved that Howard got so frustrated that Vince wouldn't cry...it was so....I'm gonna shut up.

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

:D Thank you!

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

OH YAY, I'm pleased you think it works. I thought it might be a bit too jumpy. Thank you! :D

[delighter.livejournal.com]

You are the epitome of awesome. Again, this is such a lovely continuation of them. I was particularly enchanted by Noir's jealous snit. So great!

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D

[trickpie.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD IT GREW AFJKAHLJ DAMNIT I'M AT WORK AGAIN

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

It WOULDN'T END! Just ran away with itself and got all sprawling and messy. I hope you like anyway. DDDD:

[catch-me-chris.livejournal.com]

je ne sais pas le mot! C'est magnifique! Tres bien.

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

Merci beaucoup! :D

[ibkod.livejournal.com]

Will you marry me?

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

Weddings make me cringe, but let's LIVE IN SIN! <3

[katies-art.livejournal.com]

Sweet lord, you know I love you.

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

:D! I'm so happy this thing isn't boring yet. Thank you!

[rachellanuit.livejournal.com]

.... D:


I think I actually might cry or something.


asdf;kljsdkfjasklhasdghlksa

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

D: In a good way, I hope?!

[flyingaboveair.livejournal.com]

OMFG. This was pure aces.
Sparkling brilliance with neon flashing awesome.
But because of this, I am compelled to tell you that I am now in love with you and would like your hand in marriage please...
Now my dear, it won't no stylish marriage, cos ya know, I can't afford a carriage, but I promise you'll look pretty flipin' sweet on this bicycle made for two, cos its a pink one with glitter and light up training wheels and it has glow in the dark stickers on it(!!!!!!)...
But if that does not suit Ricky, then I was wondering if we could friends perhaps?
Ya see, I've been working up the nerve to add you for a while now and thanks to typical creepy lurking practices, I know you have a billion LJ friends already and its probably a bit of a bother to have soooo many people on your f-list, but I've been admiring you from a far and thought I'd just ask...
But we could still marry either way. I must warn you though, I talk in my sleep and I hate children.
...
This all sounded extremely, unbelievably creepy. I'm very very sorry.

((Hides in embarrassment))

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

Friended! Too many fandom-friends is never too many. :D

[bringmebackadog.livejournal.com]

"...BAM, surprise ninja cuddles."

He's laughing a bit, reluctant to give up the hug and still clinging to Moon, arms up around his neck. "You know, when you forget how sad and embarrassing it is being in love, you're pretty good at it..."

Eeeeeeee *squeals and flails*
This whole thing was gorgeous. I'm glad I had the house to myself cos I made a lot of embarrassing noises as well as giggling far too much. I heart them both... especially Moon.

Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease don't stop writing this.

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D I couldn't stop if I wanted to, I've hooked myself like a drug.

[unbelievable2.livejournal.com]

Oh wonderful....far too many lines to quote for their loveliness. And soooo funny as well as real heart-in-the -mouth time about what will happen to their relationsip (nothing bad, please!!!). You have made us care so much about these two.
And "L'egerie de M. Ashcroft" - great touch!!!!

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D

[min-o.livejournal.com]

This should never ever end!

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

:D Thank you!

[callifer.livejournal.com]

Oh. God.

My chest is tight and my c*ck is hard. I love this series soooo much. You are wonderful. Now scuse me while I nip out the back...

[wildebrian.livejournal.com]

God I know. My vagina was so wet in arousal, like a damp cave. My knickers were soaked through, like I'd worn them in the bath. My nipples were hard, like two skittles on the peak of my breasts. I had to go and touch myself after reading this. Not just a quick wank, you understand. The full works. I used my favourite dildo, the ten-inch-long-three-inch-thick one. WOOOOEEE, that thing's a monster. Anyway, it feels so good to use after reading this fic. I concur, good sir.

[doodlesquiggle.livejournal.com]

As amazing as ever! This series is fantastic! And should never EVER end!!!!

Cal, you naughty minx ;)

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D

[vous-et-moi.livejournal.com]

Just pure sex. You and your fic.

Damn it woman you're good.

*lights cig*

x x x

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

:D Thank you!

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

It HAD to be Jones and Ashcroft, when they needed fake names. ;) Either that or Rosey and Bauer, but there was a good reason for Jones.

So pleased you're not sick of this thing yet. :D <3

[sheni-k.livejournal.com]

SO hot. I was so excited when I saw you had written more. And I love your characters. They're so fucked up and gorgeous, and I loved the bit, um,


"You are gonna shoot me," he says. "One day." He's still holding Moon's hand, he's looking down at where their fingers are wound together and not at Moon's face, but his voice is clear. "I ain't thick. I know you'll get sick of me. You can't just let me go, I know too much, you'd be freaked out forever in case I snitched. You'll get proper sick of me one day, not just annoyed, and then you'll shoot me. It's okay."

It gave me shivers.

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D

[jackiethomas73.livejournal.com]

uhh...French...

right sorry.

the 'you are going to shoot me' scene is full of tension, the violence is handled just perfectly and it made me want to sob as well. this is fab

[thieving-gypsy.livejournal.com]

:D Thank you!