Fun for the whole family!

[ex-rosegany.livejournal.com]

Well, maybe not the little ones.

Another fandom friend of mine pointed me in the direction of this handy Drabble-Matic site, kind of like Mad Libs, but with slashy intent! Of course the results are LULZ and cracktastic, so I only figured it appropriate to do some for the Boosh boys. I'll post my favorites here, and I demand encourage you all to respond in the comments with your own drabbles!



1.

"The Llama Prince"

Vince was walking through a naughty meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a creepy little llama lying under a tree.

Vince skipped over to see the dear thing and was smug to find that he was hurt! A hairdryer had pierced his sweet little lips and he whimpered lustfully with the pain.

"My dark little friend," Vince said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the hairdryer, as lovingly as he could. The llama cried out and Vince's heart ached, like a pure burst of mangina light. "You'll be all right," Vince whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Howard and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Howard up in his arms, Vince carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Vince nursed Howard, cleaning his lips and feeding him Biro-brand llama chow.

On the eighth night, Howard climbed into bed with Vince. He burrowed under the covers and colorfully hoofed Vince's cock. It made Vince giggle and he cuddled close to Howard, stroking his elbow and singing brightly to him.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Vince hurried home so he could curl up with Howard. It gave him a glam feeling whenever Howard hoofed his cock.

Then one night, Howard looked up at Vince and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a hypnotic prince."

Vince screamed cheekily, he was so surprised. How could a llama talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Howard said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Vince said and kissed Howard on his elbow. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a hypnotic prince! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Prince Howard," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Vince said.

"See?" Howard said and showed Vince the scar from the hairdryer on his lips. Then he kissed Vince and they tumbled in a Chinese pipe and did a lot of very jaunty things, some of them involving a jazzy trumpet.

"I love you," Howard said when they were done. Vince clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Howard had stashed away.

And if Howard didn't know about Vince's visits to the llama sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.



2.

"The Adventure Of The Llama"

Vince and Howard were out for a hypnotic Valentine's walk in a Chinese pipe. As they went, Howard rested his hand on Vince's lips. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so glam, Vince was filled with naughty dread.

"Do you suppose it's jaunty here?" he asked cheekily.

"You creepy silly," Howard said, tickling Vince with his trumpet. "It's completely sweet."

Just then, a smug llama leapt out from behind a hairdryer and hoofed Howard in the cock. "Aaargh!" Howard screamed.

Things looked dark. But Vince, although he was jazzy, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a biro and, like a pure burst of mangina light, beat the llama lustfully until it ran off. "That will teach you to crimp innocent people."

Then he clasped Howard close. Howard was bleeding lovingly. "My darling," Vince said, and pressed his lips to Howard's elbow.

"I love you," Howard said colorfully, and expired in Vince's arms.

Vince never loved again.


3.

"Vince and Howard"
by William Shakespeare

Enter Vince

Howard appears above at a window

Vince:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the biro, and Howard is the llama.
Arise, hypnotic llama, and crimp the jazzy hairdryer.
See, how he leans his lips upon his elbow!
O, that I were a glove upon that elbow,
That I might touch that lips!

Howard:
O Vince, Vince! wherefore art thou Vince?
What's in a name? That which we call a cock
By any other name would smell as jaunty
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a pure burst of mangina light"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove dark.

Vince:
Swain, by yonder jazzy hairdryer I swear
That tips in a Chinese pipe the creepy trumpet--

Howard:
O, swear not by the hairdryer, the naughty hairdryer,
That lustfully changes in its smug orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise smug.
Sweet, sweet night! A thousand times sweet night!
Parting is such glam sorrow,
That I shall say sweet night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Vince:
Sleep dwell upon thy lips, peace in thine elbow!
Would I were sleep and peace, so colorfully to rest!
brightly will I to my hypnotic cock's cell,
Its help to crimp, and my jaunty cock to tell.


4.

"A Smug Day To Crimp"

Vince stepped lustfully out into the sweet sunshine, and admired Howard's lips. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a jazzy sight."

Howard climbed off the biro and walked colorfully across the grass to greet his lover. Vince patted Howard on the cock and then tried to crimp him lovingly, but without success.

"That's all right," Howard said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not hypnotic," Vince said. "Not as hypnotic as the time we hoofed in a Chinese pipe."

Howard nodded cheekily. "We were dark back in those days."

"Our elbows were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Vince said. "Everything seems jaunty and glam when you're young."

"Of course," Howard said. "But now we're naughty, we can still have fun. If we go about it brightly."

"Brightly?" Vince said. "But how?"

"With this," Howard said and held out a creepy trumpet. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to crimp."

Vince swallowed the trumpet at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to crimp brightly. They hoofed like a pure burst of mangina light. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.



*

My favorite bits:

1. Of course Vince nurses Howard back to health, right? Mowgli in Flares, doing his thing. And apparently on the side too...Cheeky cheating monkey. Also, I'd like to know what they were doing with that jazzy trumpet...

2. So canon. I'll never love again! To be followed by a "Howard's Dead" dirge.

3. Dost thou love me? Art thou playing those love games with me?

4. The bit about the lawn just made me giggle, what can I say?


NOW, IT's YOUR TURN!

Comments

[gillengirl.livejournal.com]

A Silly Day To Suck

Vince stepped powerfully out into the deep sunshine, and admired Howard's cock. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a hard sight."

Howard climbed off the bed and walked lightly across the grass to greet his lover. Vince patted Howard on the throat and then tried to suck him shakily, but without success.

"That's all right," Howard said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not soft," Vince. "Not as soft as the time we sucked under the sea."

Howard nodded carefully. "We were Sticky back in those days."

"Our thighs were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Vince said. "Everything seems sparkly and rigid when you're young."

"Of course," Howard said. "But now we're glistening, we can still have fun. If we go about it rightly."

"Rightly?" Vince said . "But how?"

"With this," Howard said and held out a bright floor. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to suck."

Vince swallowed the floor at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to suck rightly. They sucked like a wave crashing to shore. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.

[ex-rosegany.livejournal.com]

Heh. This is a good one...Apparently floor is the new libido increaser.

[gillengirl.livejournal.com]

yes, nasty,nasty ,dirty floor. you know you want it.

[sparklyglampire.livejournal.com]

Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a pure burst of mangina light"
BEST BIT!

I LOVE that drabblematic thing! I was doing this a while ago, and I saved my favourite one, so here you go:

The OLD GREGG Prince

Howard was walking through a CRUNCHY meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a GLOWY little OLD GREGG lying under a tree.

Howard skipped over to see the dear thing and was BRIGHT to find that he was hurt! A HAIRSPRAY had pierced his GAY little BUTT and he whimpered SEXILY with the pain.

"My AMAZING little friend," Howard said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the HAIRSPRAY, as DRUNKLY as he could. The OLD GREGG cried out and Howard's heart ached, LIKE A HANDBAG FULL OF RAINBOWS. "You'll be all right," Howard whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Vince and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Vince up in his arms, Howard carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Howard nursed Vince, cleaning his BUTT and feeding him BAILEY'S-brand OLD GREGG chow.

On the eighth night, Vince climbed into bed with Howard. He burrowed under the covers and GRUMPILY UNFED Howard's ARSE. It made Howard giggle and he cuddled close to Vince, stroking his BUM and singing BOREDLY to him.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Howard hurried home so he could curl up with Vince. It gave him a AWESOME feeling whenever Vince UNFED his ARSE.

Then one night, Vince looked up at Howard and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a GENIUS prince."

Howard screamed FATLY, he was so surprised. How could a OLD GREGG talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Vince said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Howard said and kissed Vince on his BUM. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a GENIUS prince! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Prince Vince," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Howard said.

"See?" Vince said and showed Howard the scar from the HAIRSPRAY on his BUTT. Then he kissed Howard and they tumbled IN THE ZOO and did a lot of very DRUGSY things, some of them involving a FAGGY STATIONARY.

"I love you," Vince said when they were done. Howard clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Vince had stashed away.

And if Vince didn't know about Howard's visits to the OLD GREGG sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.

[ex-rosegany.livejournal.com]

OMG, that's amazing. Prince Vince trapped as Old Gregg, and Howard digging 'em both...Canon much?

And yeah, the "dost thou love me" had me making up a Shakespearean "Love Games" in my head that really wants to turn into a real live fic thing, heh.

[vous-et-moi.livejournal.com]

there stood a GENIUS prince! With a crown and everything!


that is pure vince dialague!!!!

[letsmakeacrepe.livejournal.com]

YES! I love these, someone posted this a while ago on another fandom. Hours of fun :D

Filthily Tripping

Noel tripped along flirtily. He was on his way to meet his lover, Rich, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a shrew hopping along, carrying a glam-rock ski suit in its mouth.

Noel was almost on an eel when he came across a sparkly cake, lying alone on a colourful plate. "That must be a treat from my terrible bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked giggly, so he ate it.

It gave him the most small tingling sensation in his peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenis. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Rich.

When Rich came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Noel cried drunkenly.

"Your HAPPY TRAIL! And your nipple!" Rich said. "They're thick! Can't you feel it?"

Noel felt his HAPPY TRAIL and his nipple. They were indeed quite thick. "Oh, no!" Noel said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that sparkly cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Rich said. "I got you a dildo. It must have been that anorexic man who lives nearby. He acts a little arrogantly, ever since he bit a wig."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Noel sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Rich said schmoozily, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your HAPPY TRAIL is really bright like that."

"Really?" Noel dried her tears. Noel kissed Rich and it was an entirely dominant sensation, like a flannel.

They spent the night having entirely dominant sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.

MMMM SEXY

A Goth Juice In Time

On an enormous and dead morning, Tony Harrison sat in a thicket. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His tentacle ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Kirk to love someone with a sick cleft?

Violently, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a brilliant hungry carpet, all on a summer's day. I wish my Kirk would suck me, in his own depressed way..."

"Do you?" Kirk sat down beside Tony Harrison and put his hand on Tony Harrison's 3rd stomach. "I think that could be arranged."

Tony Harrison gasped cheekily. "But what about my sick cleft?"

"I like it," Kirk said dreamily. "I think it's naked."

They came together and their kiss was like hard, white pegs of cream.

"I love you," Tony Harrison said paedophilically.

"I love you too," Kirk replied and sucked him.

They bought an ape, moved in together, and lived smarmily ever after.

HELLO!

[ex-rosegany.livejournal.com]

Hours of fun indeed - it's so addicting!

I love the last one...Sick cleft...Too perfect!

[directmydesire.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna wake my entire household from how much I'm laughing at these!!

*runs off to play*

Oddly enough my fave ones are both winter themed!!

The Electronic Terror Of The Snow

It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Howard and Vince went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Howard hit Vince in his Ass with a big frightening iceball. It hurt a lot, but Howard kissed it sadly and then it was all better.

Then they decided to make a snow man.

"We'll make a really skeletal snow man!" Howard said.

"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Vince said. "That would be more spontaneous and politically correct."

"I know," Howard said. "We can make a snow peanut whale. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."

So they rolled the snow up passionately and made an explosive snow peanut whale. Howard put on a broken chair for the Toe. The peanut whale was almost as big as Vince.

"It looks huge," Howard said lustfully. "But it seems like it's missing something."

"Here," Vince said and held up a serene futon. "I found this in some soup." He put the futon onto the peanut whale's head.

It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the peanut whale, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like a monkey with a lifetime supply of bananas.

Vince screamed mysteriously and ran but the snow peanut whale chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow peanut whale licked him daintily.

"Nobody does that to my little Shiny Jigsaw Puzzle," Howard screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow peanut whale through the Chest. It fell down and Howard kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.

"You saved me!" Vince said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.

The futon lay in the yard until a ridiculous child picked it up and took it home.

I'm Dreaming Of An Explosive Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Vince sat passionately in some soup, sipping spontaneous eggnog.

He looked at the ridiculous broken chair hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Howard had hung it there, just before they looked at each other mysteriously and then fell into each other's arms and licked each other's Toe.

If only I hadn't been so huge, Vince thought, pouring a serene amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Howard might not have got so skeletal and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away an electronic tear and held his Ass in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a shiny voice lifted sadly up in song.


I'm dreaming of an explosive Christmas
Just like a monkey with a lifetime supply of bananas


Vince ran to the door. It was Howard, looking frightening all over with snow.

"I missed you lustfully," Howard said. "And I wanted to lick your Toe again."

Vince hugged Howard and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Howard said.

"I think so too," Vince said and they licked each other's Toe until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted peanut whale Chest and lived daintily until Vince got drunk again.

[directmydesire.livejournal.com]

I know I just posted! But I'm having too much fun! Here's a couple featuring everyone's favorite scaly man fish!

The Battle For The Cabinet

On Black Lake, Howard fucked his cabinet. He had been busy with the cabinet for hours and now wanted nothing more than a well Spanish cuddle or a genius massage from his lover Old Gregg.

He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his shiny Old Gregg appeared at the door, grinning creepily.

"Put down the cabinet," Old Gregg said ridiculously. "Unless you want me to fuck that cabinet on your shenis."

Howard put down the cabinet. He was glamorous. He had never seen Old Gregg so expansive before and it made him horny.

Old Gregg picked up the cabinet, then withdrew a pair of skinny jeans from his mangina. "Don't be so glamorous," Old Gregg said with an expansive grimace. "An eel bit my hair this morning, and everything became protective. Now with this cabinet and this pair of skinny jeans I can ridiculously rule the world!"

Howard clutched his magenta hair lovingly. This was his lover, his shiny Old Gregg, now staring at him with an expansive mangina.

"Fight it!" Howard shouted. "The eel just wants the cabinet for his own shiny devices! He doesn't love you, not the well Spanish way I do!"

Howard could see Old Gregg trembling lovingly. Howard reached out his shenis and touched Old Gregg's mangina ridiculously. He was shiny, so shiny, but he knew only his magenta love for Old Gregg would break the eel's spell.

Sure enough, Old Gregg dropped the cabinet with a thunk. "Oh, Howard," he squealed. "I'm so well Spanish, can you ever forgive me?"

But Howard had already moved on Black Lake. Like Vince after a day of shopping!, he pressed his shenis into Old Gregg's mangina. And as they fell together in a protective fit of love, the cabinet lay on the floor, horny and forgotten.

The Eel Prince

Howard was walking through a magenta meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a glamorous little eel lying under a tree.

Howard skipped over to see the dear thing and was groovy to find that he was hurt! A pair of skinny jeans had pierced his genius little hair and he whimpered creepily with the pain.

"My protective little friend," Howard said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the pair of skinny jeans, as gorgeously as he could. The eel cried out and Howard's heart ached, like Vince after a day of shopping!. "You'll be all right," Howard whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Old Gregg and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Old Gregg up in his arms, Howard carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Howard nursed Old Gregg, cleaning his hair and feeding him Cabinet-brand eel chow.

On the eighth night, Old Gregg climbed into bed with Howard. He burrowed under the covers and ridiculously fucked Howard's shenis. It made Howard giggle and he cuddled close to Old Gregg, stroking his mangina and singing obscenely to him.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Howard hurried home so he could curl up with Old Gregg. It gave him an expansive feeling whenever Old Gregg fucked his shenis.

Then one night, Old Gregg looked up at Howard and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a horny prince."

Howard screamed lovingly, he was so surprised. How could an eel talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Old Gregg said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Howard said and kissed Old Gregg on his mangina. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a horny prince! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Prince Old Gregg," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Howard said.

"See?" Old Gregg said and showed Howard the scar from the pair of skinny jeans on his hair. Then he kissed Howard and they tumbled on Black Lake and did a lot of very well Spanish things, some of them involving a shiny feather.

"I love you," Old Gregg said when they were done. Howard clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Old Gregg had stashed away.

And if Old Gregg didn't know about Howard's visits to the eel sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.

[ex-rosegany.livejournal.com]

I know, right? I was so afraid I was gonna wake my mom laughing...

I now think Vince really should be referred to as "my little shiny jigsaw puzzle." How very deep ;)

[directmydesire.livejournal.com]

Hehe! It is rather fitting isn't it!

[karmacowboy.livejournal.com]

How about Old Gregg as a 'glamorous little eel '??
That's not bad either!

[ex-rosegany.livejournal.com]

I think you win at life. Really.

True love is when Bainbridge still wants Fossil, even sans tummy.

I can't even pick out favorite bits from the last one...It's pretty much it's own Booshy episode. LOVE.

[beholdhaecceity.livejournal.com]

A Fluffy Day To Thrust

Noel stepped religiously out into the phallic sunshine, and admired Julian's mangina. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a homoesque sight."

Julian climbed off the vicar and walked sexually across the grass to greet his lover. Noel patted Julian on the hair and then tried to thrust him orally, but without success.

"That's all right," Julian said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not infected," Noel. "Not as infected as the time we thrusted in his arse."

Julian nodded purposefully. "We were homoerotic back in those days."

"Our erect cocks were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Noel said. "Everything seems glowing and sextastic when you're young."

"Of course," Julian said. "But now we're grabby, we can still have fun. If we go about it festively."

"Festively?" Noel said . "But how?"

"With this," Julian said and held out a fugly kitchen bench. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to thrust."

Noel swallowed the kitchen bench at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to thrust festively. They thrusted like a weekend in San Fransisco with every member of the Village People. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.


I Saw Julian Kissing Santa Claus

Noel woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one infected box that looked like a dildo.

Then Noel noticed that Julian was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Noel thought that he would surprise Julian. Maybe even sneak up behind him and thrust him on his glowing hair. That always made Julian sextastic.

Noel crept sexually down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its phallic lights, and the presents, heaped up religiously, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Julian. Kissing someone.

Noel was so angry, he picked up a vicar from a table and threw it orally in his arse.

They both looked around.

"Julian, you homoerotic duck!" Noel yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Noel looked and then rubbed his erect cock and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Julian said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a fluffy kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Noel said festively. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be enticing."

That seemed reasonable. Noel went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like a weekend in San Fransisco with every member of the Village People. He made Noel's mangina feel all fugly.

"You see?" Julian said purposefully and Noel saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

[ex-rosegany.livejournal.com]

Oh gods, the first one. Glad to see they brought the spice back into their life...

[ex-rosegany.livejournal.com]

Ha, that's amazing! Howard makes a green snowman for his scaly man fish love, and Old Gregg provides the tutu! *g*

[firey-biscuits.livejournal.com]

The Psychedelic Terror Of The Snow

It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Howard and Vince went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Howard hit Vince in his cock with a big sexy iceball. It hurt a lot, but Howard kissed it sexily and then it was all better.

Then they decided to make a snow man.

"We'll make a really thick snow man!" Howard said.

"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Vince said. "That would be more tasty and politically correct."

"I know," Howard said. "We can make a snow unicorn. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."

So they rolled the snow up dreamily and made a hard snow unicorn. Howard put on a whip for the mouth. The unicorn was almost as big as Vince.

"It looks horny," Howard said deliciously. "But it seems like it's missing something."

"Here," Vince said and held up an oiled paddle. "I found this on a cloud." He put the paddle onto the unicorn's head.

It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the unicorn, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like a pair of happy campers.

Vince screamed greedily and ran but the snow unicorn chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow unicorn fucked him joyfully.

"Nobody does that to my little Juicy Tassle," Howard screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow unicorn through the nipple. It fell down and Howard kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.

"You saved me!" Vince said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.

The paddle lay in the yard until a fluffy child picked it up and took it home.


The Unicorn Prince

Vince was walking through a horny meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a juicy little unicorn lying under a tree.

Vince skipped over to see the dear thing and was fluffy to find that he was hurt! A tassle had pierced his psychedelic little cock and he whimpered greedily with the pain.

"My sexy little friend," Vince said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the tassle, as dreamily as he could. The unicorn cried out and Vince's heart ached, like a pair of happy campers. "You'll be all right," Vince whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Howard and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Howard up in his arms, Vince carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Vince nursed Howard, cleaning his cock and feeding him Paddle-brand unicorn chow.

On the eighth night, Howard climbed into bed with Vince. He burrowed under the covers and sexily fucked Vince's mouth. It made Vince giggle and he cuddled close to Howard, stroking his nipple and singing joyfully to him.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Vince hurried home so he could curl up with Howard. It gave him a thick feeling whenever Howard fucked his mouth.

Then one night, Howard looked up at Vince and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a hard prince."

Vince screamed deliciously, he was so surprised. How could an unicorn talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Howard said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Vince said and kissed Howard on his nipple. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a hard prince! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Prince Howard," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Vince said.

"See?" Howard said and showed Vince the scar from the tassle on his cock. Then he kissed Vince and they tumbled on a cloud and did a lot of very tasty things, some of them involving an oiled whip.

"I love you," Howard said when they were done. Vince clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Howard had stashed away.

And if Howard didn't know about Vince's visits to the unicorn sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.

[ex-rosegany.livejournal.com]

Hee. Vince really has a thing for unicorns. Unicorn non-con FTW.

I'm dreaming of an intense christmas

[x-sexybexy-x.livejournal.com]

I'm Dreaming Of An Intense Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Julian sat hungrily in a tree, sipping big eggnog.

He looked at the quick ball hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Noel had hung it there, just before they looked at each other calmly and then fell into each other's arms and fucked each other's waist.

If only I hadn't been so quick, Julian thought, pouring a clever amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Noel might not have got so iridescant and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a hot tear and held his back in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then an old voice lifted lustfully up in song.



I'm dreaming of an intense Christmas

Just like a sunset on a warm summers evening



Julian ran to the door. It was Noel, looking beautiful all over with snow.

"I missed you forcefully," Noel said. "And I wanted to fuck your waist again."

Julian hugged Noel and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Noel said.

"I think so too," Julian said and they fucked each other's waist until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted unicorn mouth and lived sexily until Julian got drunk again.

Re: I'm dreaming of an intense christmas

[ex-rosegany.livejournal.com]

Somehow this almost made me sad. Poor Ju, alone and drunk at Christmas. But at least they fucked waists again, right? And all was well ;)

[ex-rosegany.livejournal.com]

Oh no, mascara smudge! We need an Emergency Vince Fashion Kit, stat! Hee.

Aren't these fun? So addicting...

It's pretty perfect that Vince turned into a woman. I love how oddly canon these end up being...Which I guess should be expected, since it's the Boosh ;)

[ex-rosegany.livejournal.com]

Oh, but this time Ju was the girl! Interesting plot twist ;)

And Noel and Ju don't just have sex like normal folk...They have sexy sex...

*g*

[ex-rosegany.livejournal.com]

OMG, this IS genius! Grumpy Howard hating Christmas, silly Vincey risking his life to save a Robin, and then we get some good ol' fashioned hurt/comfort. Totes the best Christmas ever ;)

[vous-et-moi.livejournal.com]

WIN!!!! THIS SURELY IS CANON!!!!!

[vous-et-moi.livejournal.com]

He is masked, so you can never be sure. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

But what a sad ending! poor Old Gregg will he ever find someone who wont run away?

x x x

[elektropixie.livejournal.com]

i tried it too, and i think this is the best result possible :P (sort of NC17 if you try to make it make sense, but if you read as was intended then about 15 ish)
A Sexy Day To Suck

Noel stepped softly out into the shiny sunshine, and admired Julian's cock. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a kissable sight."

Julian climbed off the condom and walked smoothly across the grass to greet his lover. Noel patted Julian on the arse and then tried to suck him slowly, but without success.

"That's all right," Julian said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not bony," Noel. "Not as bony as the time we sucked on the bed."

Julian nodded darkly. "We were iridescent back in those days."

"Our crotchs were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Noel said. "Everything seems curvy and sticky when you're young."

"Of course," Julian said. "But now we're glittery, we can still have fun. If we go about it secretly."

"Secretly?" Noel said . "But how?"

"With this," Julian said and held out a delicious dildo. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to suck."

Noel swallowed the dildo at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to suck secretly. They sucked like a bad slapper from a porno. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.

[thedarkevilone.livejournal.com]

SO ADDICTIVE!

The Adventure Of The Marmoset

Howard and Vince were out for an obsequious Valentine's walk on a bun. As they went, Vince rested his hand on Howard's eyebrow. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so bountiful, Howard was filled with impudent dread.

"Do you suppose it's avuncular here?" he asked sexily.

"You magnificent silly," Vince said, tickling Howard with his stapler. "It's completely gheytastic."

Just then, a magical marmoset leapt out from behind a spanner and frolicked Vince in the armpit. "Aaargh!" Vince screamed.

Things looked rambunctious. But Howard, although he was pulchritudinous, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a banana and, like a sexually-confused camel on acid, beat the marmoset beauteously until it ran off. "That will teach you to frolic innocent people."

Then he clasped Vince close. Vince was bleeding gleefully. "My darling," Howard said, and pressed his lips to Vince's sausage.

"I love you," Vince said cheekily, and expired in Howard's arms.

Howard never loved again.



The Magnificent Stranger

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Howard strode along the path, making for Gheytastic Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Impudent Spanner, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Sausage.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his bountiful stapler just in time to face the obsequious man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.

The man struck gleefully, and Howard barely raised his stapler to meet the attack. They fought long and cheekily until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, Howard found himself forced to one knee, the man's stapler pressed to his avuncular eyebrow. "I am Vince of Gheytastic Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Impudent Spanner. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you on a bun."

But Howard had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his stapler with a twist, overpowered Vince and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Howard said, looking down upon him.

Vince's armpit shimmered like a sexually-confused camel on acid. "I have underestimated you, Howard. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Howard's desire was enflamed. His eyebrow throbbed and all his thoughts were to frolic Vince like a marmoset. Howard caressed Vince's rambunctious armpit and he responded. They came together beauteously, and their joining was as magical as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet banana!" Howard groaned and frolicked Vince as sexily as he could.

"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Howard said. "That's where I put the Impudent Spanner for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed horrificly on the grass, forgetful of all but their pulchritudinous love. "We will stay together forever," Vince said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Sausage never got the Impudent Spanner and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.

[thedarkevilone.livejournal.com]

Magical Lang Syne

Howard sipped sexily at his drink and stood magical behind a spanner. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel obsequious and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how gheytastic his sausage got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Howard knew very well why he was at the party: to see Vince.

Ah, Vince. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his bountiful armpit made Howard's heart beat like a sexually-confused camel on acid.

But tonight everyone was masked. Howard peered cheekily through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Vince. There, he thought, the man over by the banana, the pulchritudinous one with the marmoset mask. It had to be Vince. No one else could look so rambunctious, even in a marmoset mask.

He began to walk Howard's way and Howard started to panic. What if he actually talked to Howard?

Vince came right up to Howard and Howard thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," Vince said horrificly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the stapler," Howard said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so impudent.

Just then, an avuncular voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Howard's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Vince might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Vince swept Howard into his arms, bent him on a bun, and kissed Howard gleefully, slipping him the tongue and groping his eyebrow.

Howard could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out beauteously and pulled Vince's mask off his face. It was Vince! "I knew it was you," Howard said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Vince said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Howard watched him go. He would be right back, Howard was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.

And then they would fall in love.


I Saw Vince Kissing Santa Claus

Howard woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one avuncular box that looked like a spanner.

Then Howard noticed that Vince was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Howard thought that he would surprise Vince. Maybe even sneak up behind him and frolic him on his bountiful sausage. That always made Vince pulchritudinous.

Howard crept horrificly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its magnificent lights, and the presents, heaped up sexily, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Vince. Kissing someone.

Howard was so angry, he picked up a stapler from a table and threw it gleefully on a bun.

They both looked around.

"Vince, you gheytastic marmoset!" Howard yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Howard looked and then rubbed his eyebrow and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Vince said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what an impudent kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Howard said cheekily. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be magical."

That seemed reasonable. Howard went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like a sexually-confused camel on acid. He made Howard's armpit feel all rambunctious.

"You see?" Vince said beauteously and Howard saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

[thedarkevilone.livejournal.com]

A Magnificent Day To Frolic

Howard stepped sexily out into the magical sunshine, and admired Vince's armpit. "Ah," he sighed, "That's an avuncular sight."

Vince climbed off the stapler and walked horrificly across the grass to greet his lover. Howard patted Vince on the eyebrow and then tried to frolic him cheekily, but without success.

"That's all right," Vince said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not pulchritudinous," Howard. "Not as pulchritudinous as the time we frolicked on a bun."

Vince nodded beauteously. "We were gheytastic back in those days."

"Our sausages were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Howard said. "Everything seems impudent and bountiful when you're young."

"Of course," Vince said. "But now we're rambunctious, we can still have fun. If we go about it gleefully."

"Gleefully?" Howard said . "But how?"

"With this," Vince said and held out an obsequious spanner. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to frolic."

Howard swallowed the spanner at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to frolic gleefully. They frolicked like a sexually-confused camel on acid. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.



Cheekily Tripping

Howard tripped along horrificly. He was on his way to meet his lover, Vince, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a marmoset hopping along, carrying a stapler in its mouth.

Howard was almost on a bun when he came across an avuncular cake, lying alone on a pulchritudinous plate. "That must be a treat from my gheytastic bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked rambunctious, so he ate it.

It gave him the most magnificent tingling sensation in his eyebrow. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Vince.

When Vince came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Howard cried beauteously.

"Your armpit! And your sausage!" Vince said. "They're magical! Can't you feel it?"

Howard felt his armpit and his sausage. They were indeed quite magical. "Oh, no!" Howard said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that avuncular cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Vince said. "I got you a banana. It must have been that impudent man who lives nearby. He acts a little sexily, ever since he frolicked a spanner."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Howard sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Vince said gleefully, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your armpit is really bountiful like that."

"Really?" Howard dried her tears. Howard kissed Vince and it was an entirely obsequious sensation, like a sexually-confused camel on acid.

They spent the night having entirely obsequious sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.

[thedarkevilone.livejournal.com]

Howard and Vince
by William Shakespeare

Enter Howard

Vince appears above at a window

Howard:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the spanner, and Vince is the marmoset.
Arise, magical marmoset, and frolic the gheytastic banana.
See, how he leans his sausage upon his eyebrow!
O, that I were a glove upon that eyebrow,
That I might touch that sausage!

Vince:
O Howard, Howard! wherefore art thou Howard?
What's in a name? That which we call an armpit
By any other name would smell as bountiful
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a sexually-confused camel on acid"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove obsequious.

Howard:
Swain, by yonder gheytastic banana I swear
That tips on a bun the rambunctious stapler--

Vince:
O, swear not by the banana, the magnificent banana,
That horrificly changes in its avuncular orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise avuncular.
Sweet, pulchritudinous night! A thousand times pulchritudinous night!
Parting is such impudent sorrow,
That I shall say pulchritudinous night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Howard:
Sleep dwell upon thy sausage, peace in thine eyebrow!
Would I were sleep and peace, so sexily to rest!
cheekily will I to my magical armpit's cell,
Its help to frolic, and my bountiful armpit to tell.

[xnoir698.livejournal.com]

I'm Dreaming Of A Genius Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Noel sat beautifully in a bunk, sipping kinky eggnog.

He looked at the awesome bed hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Julian had hung it there, just before they looked at each other gently and then fell into each other's arms and caressed each other's arm.

If only I hadn't been so hilarious, Noel thought, pouring a glittery amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Julian might not have got so yummy and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a naughty tear and held his leg in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a beautiful voice lifted huskily up in song.


I'm dreaming of a genius Christmas

Just like a flash of orgasmic turtles


Noel ran to the door. It was Julian, looking pointy all over with snow.

"I missed you sexily," Julian said. "And I wanted to caress your arm again."

Noel hugged Julian and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Julian said.

"I think so too," Noel said and they caressed each other's arm until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted fox cock and lived softly until Noel got drunk again.

[directmydesire.livejournal.com]

Okay, so the Sensual Window is quite possibly the best magical objects ever!

&

his thoughts were to bum Julian like a peacock
Noel! A peacock! You've gone too far! Lol!

Oh my god how fun is this!

[jcheartsboosh.livejournal.com]

Ok I had too much fun!

Quickly Tripping:

Vince tripped along slowly. He was on his way to meet his lover, Howard, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a crack fox hopping along, carrying an elbow patch in its mouth.

Vince was almost on a bed when he came across a happy cake, lying alone on a girly plate. "That must be a treat from my trendy bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked jazzy, so he ate it.

It gave him the most needy tingling sensation in his chest. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Howard.

When Howard came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Vince cried smoothly.

"Your arse! And your lips!" Howard said. "They're sexy! Can't you feel it?"

Vince felt his arse and his lips. They were indeed quite sexy. "Oh, no!" Vince said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that happy cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Howard said. "I got you a trumpet sock. It must have been that freaky man who lives nearby. He acts a little huskily, ever since he kissed a comb."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Vince sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Howard said sweetly, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your arse is really hot like that."

"Really?" Vince dried her tears. Vince kissed Howard and it was an entirely loving sensation, as mad as a box of frogs.

They spent the night having entirely loving sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.

[firey-biscuits.livejournal.com]

A Whip In Time

On an erect and gorgeous morning, Noel sat on the bed. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His mouth ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Julian to love someone with a horny nipple?

Sexily, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a cute kinky condom, all on a summer's day. I wish my Julian would fuck me, in his own bubbly way..."

"Do you?" Julian sat down beside Noel and put his hand on Noel's cock. "I think that could be arranged."

Noel gasped joyfully. "But what about my horny nipple?"

"I like it," Julian said huskily. "I think it's adorable."

They came together and their kiss was like an excited Vince Noir in a Topshop sale.

"I love you," Noel said silently.

"I love you too," Julian replied and fucked him.

They bought a tiger, moved in together, and lived hornily ever after.



The Gorgeous Stranger

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Julian strode along the path, making for Bubbly Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Sexy Condom, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Nipple.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his frisky whip just in time to face the horny man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.

The man struck huskily, and Julian barely raised his whip to meet the attack. They fought long and hornily until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, Julian found himself forced to one knee, the man's whip pressed to his erect cock. "I am Noel of Bubbly Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Sexy Condom. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you onto the bed."

But Julian had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his whip with a twist, overpowered Noel and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Julian said, looking down upon him.

Noel's mouth shimmered like an excited Vince Noir in a Topshop sale. "I have underestimated you, Julian. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Julian's desire was enflamed. His cock throbbed and all his thoughts were to fuck Noel like a tiger. Julian caressed Noel’s cute mouth and he responded. They came together sexily, and their joining was as kinky as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet cream!" Julian groaned and fucked Noel as joyfully as he could.

"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Julian said. "That's where I put the Sexy Condom for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed silently on the grass, forgetful of all but their adorable love. "We will stay together forever," Noel said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Nipple never got the Sexy Condom and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.

[silent-ivy.livejournal.com]

absolute total genius XD. hours of fun.

I'm Dreaming Of A Lovely Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Julian sat shakily in the lounge, sipping beige eggnog.

He looked at the smooth cup hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Noel had hung it there, just before they looked at each other excitedly and then fell into each other's arms and shoved each other's big toe.

If only I hadn't been so hairy, Julian thought, pouring a shiny amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Noel might not have got so sparkly and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a jazzy fresh tear and held his arse in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a rainbow voice lifted quickly up in song.



I'm dreaming of a lovely Christmas

Just like a baked potato and cheese, hot from the microwave



Julian ran to the door. It was Noel, looking monotone all over with snow.

"I missed you warmly," Noel said. "And I wanted to shove your big toe again."

Julian hugged Noel and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Noel said.

"I think so too," Julian said and they shoved each other's big toe until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted carp ear and lived creepily until Julian got drunk again.


A Sparkly Day To Shove

Julian stepped shakily out into the rainbow sunshine, and admired Noel's ear. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a monotone sight."

Noel climbed off the melons and walked creepily across the grass to greet his lover. Julian patted Noel on the big toe and then tried to shove him warmly, but without success.

"That's all right," Noel said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not hairy," Julian. "Not as hairy as the time we shoved in the lounge."

Noel nodded excitedly. "We were jazzy fresh back in those days."

"Our arses were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Julian said. "Everything seems lovely and shiny when you're young."

"Of course," Noel said. "But now we're beige, we can still have fun. If we go about it quickly."

"Quickly?" Julian said . "But how?"

"With this," Noel said and held out a smooth banana. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to shove."

Julian swallowed the banana at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to shove quickly. They shoved like a baked potato and cheese, hot from the microwave. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.

Too much fun....

[otherbitch.livejournal.com]

'Noel and Julian' by William Shakespeare

(Enter Noel. Julian appears above at a window)

Noel: But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the Blowjob, and Julian is the Kitten.
Arise, Lovely Kitten, and Lick the Repressed Porn.
See, how he leans his Mouth upon his Lip!
O, that I were a glove upon that Lip, that I might touch that mouth!

Julian: O Noel, Noel! Wherefore art thou Noel?
What's in a name? That which we call a Cock
By any other name would smell as Mesmerizing.
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "Like A wild beast"
A I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou may prove Throbbing.

Noel: Swain, by yonder Repressed Porn I swear
that tips On you back the Sexual Vibrator--

Julian: O, swear not by the Porn, the Moist Porn,
That Vigorously changes in it's Corduroy orb,
lest that thy love prove likewise Corduroy.
Sweet, Intimate night! A thousand times Intimate night!
Parting is such Erect sorrow, that I shall say Intimate night
'Til it be 'morrow.

(Exit above)

Noel: Sleep, dwell upon thy Mouth, peace in thy Lip!
Would I were sleep and peace, so Seductively to rest!
Helplessly will I to my Lovely Cock's cell,
it's help to Lick, and my Mesmerizing Cock to tell.