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booshslashhavenTitle: O is for Oh, Could You Shove It Up Your Arse? (14/26)
Pairing: Nove.
Disclaimer: Please dont sue me i've got so little to give!
Warnings: Swearing.
Summary: "Do you ever shove these carrots up your arse?!"- Lee Evans.
A/N: I'm gonna try and do all the letters of the alphabet. if it goes shit wrong, then sorry. hehe IGNORE AGE! :)
inspired by derren brown cos he amazes me kthnx
Previous Parts: A is for Artist. , B is for Ballroom. , C is for Children. , D is for Dads. , E is for Electro. , F is for Fairy Tale. , G is for Gorilla and Gary Numan. , H is for Her Come Take Me Home Eyes. , I is for Indecent Exposure. , J is for Joy. , K is for K. , L is for Love. , M is for Meetings. , N is for Naughty Noel.
"No." Tilly said simply.
Noel and Dave frowned up at her.
"No what?"
Tilly looked up from her sketchbook. "No. I dont think you should get a perm."
Noel's jaw dropped.
"And I dont know how." She continued. "It's like some weird orbic mother daughter connection. Like you're sending your thoughts to my heart."
"Oh my god!" Noel shrieked. "Get out of my head! It's crouded enough as it is, there isnt room for another!"
Tilly looked at Dave. "Dont worry about it." She told him. "I dont even know myself."
Dave's brow angled even more. He looked at Noel.
Noel was staring at her in awe. "There is no way you could have possibly known that!
"No?"
"Okay-"
"If you're gonna ask me what number you're thinking of dont bother."
"Why not?"
"Cos it's 69. Cos your a perv."
"Fuck off! Stop it Tilly, thats scary!"
She smiled. "I dont believe myself, because I know you two so it isnt fair."
Noel shot up. "Get your coat."
"I've pulled?" Tilly asked.
"We're going out. You can do it to someone else."
"Mum! I dont even know what it is yet!"
"You're a freak, get your coat."
*
"Think of an object in your mind." Tilly said quietly, sitting down on the nearest bench. "Dont tell me what it is. I'll ask you a series of questions, and you can only answer in yes or no questions, okay?"
The old man nodded.
Noel and Dave watched from the side lines.
"Is it bigger than a piano?"
"No."
"Let me see your hands."
The man showed her his hands.
Tilly looked back up at him. "Can you wear it?"
"No."
"Is it a rugby ball?"
The man smiled in shock.
"Was it?"
"Yeah."
"Excellent. Thank you." Tilly looked at her Dads, both staring at her open mouthed. "Satisfied?"
"I'm not." A voice came from the small croud that had gathered.
Tilly stood up and sat on the back of the bench and watched a tall black man step forward. "Alright." She told him. "You think of an object." She pulled out her sketchpad. "Write it down so you cant cheat."
He did.
"Fold it up. Give it to this lady here.. Dont show me. I'm going to ask you a series of questions, only answer yes or no, but not outloud. I want you to answer clearly in your head."
"Fuck off." Noel whispered.
Tilly blinked twice. "Is it larger than a tablespoon?"
The man did not react.
"Oh, could you shove it up your arse?"
Various people giggled, including her parents.
"Dont answer that... Does it smell?"
The man showed no emotion.
"If she gets this I'll give you £20 to run around the park with your trousers off." Dave whispered.
"If she gets this I'll do it for nothing." Noel whispered back, shaking Dave's hand.
"Is it something you wear?" She studied the man's face searching for something, anything, and found nothing. She smiled. "Its a mask."
The woman opened the paper and nodded. "Thats amazing." She turned it over.
Scribbled in black marker pen was 'A Mask'.
Dave looked at Noel and smiled. "That's my girl."
Noel shook his head. "I was joking."
"I wasnt."
*
"Why arent you at college?" Noel asked, throwing a satsuma at Tilly.
She tutted, and threw it back. "Study leave! Why arent you working?"
"Scripts done!" Noel threw the satsuma back at her.
Tilly picked it up and launched it at him. "I DONT WANT A FUCKING SATSUMA!"
"Alright! Calm it, Kermit!"
"Does that mean I'm gonna go see Grandmere soon then? If you're fucking off."
"Yeah, shes already baked you a cake." Noel smiled, throwing a piece of orange in his mouth.
"How'd you know?"
"Cos I spoke to her on the phone just now, mystic meg!"
"What kinda cake?"
"You can fuck off, you aint having it all. Me and yer dad are gonna stay the weekend too. Save flying there and flying back in a day."
"Only takes an hour."
"Yes Tilly, but its a piss take!"
"How long are you touring for?"
Noel shrugged. "I dont fucking know. 3 months?"
"I have to stay with Grandmere for 3 months?"
"Oi. My Nan is the coolest woman to ever walk this planet. I ask you not to be so slack jawed and ill mannered, would you rather stay with my nan or your nan?"
"Honestly?"
"Oh what, now you've got beef with my mum?"
"I havent got beef with anyone! Jeeze. Sorry N-Dubz."
Noel smiled and did a perfect impression of Dappy with a mouthful of satsuma. "Na Na Naiiii."
Pairing: Nove.
Disclaimer: Please dont sue me i've got so little to give!
Warnings: Swearing.
Summary: "Do you ever shove these carrots up your arse?!"- Lee Evans.
A/N: I'm gonna try and do all the letters of the alphabet. if it goes shit wrong, then sorry. hehe IGNORE AGE! :)
Previous Parts: A is for Artist. , B is for Ballroom. , C is for Children. , D is for Dads. , E is for Electro. , F is for Fairy Tale. , G is for Gorilla and Gary Numan. , H is for Her Come Take Me Home Eyes. , I is for Indecent Exposure. , J is for Joy. , K is for K. , L is for Love. , M is for Meetings. , N is for Naughty Noel.
"No." Tilly said simply.
Noel and Dave frowned up at her.
"No what?"
Tilly looked up from her sketchbook. "No. I dont think you should get a perm."
Noel's jaw dropped.
"And I dont know how." She continued. "It's like some weird orbic mother daughter connection. Like you're sending your thoughts to my heart."
"Oh my god!" Noel shrieked. "Get out of my head! It's crouded enough as it is, there isnt room for another!"
Tilly looked at Dave. "Dont worry about it." She told him. "I dont even know myself."
Dave's brow angled even more. He looked at Noel.
Noel was staring at her in awe. "There is no way you could have possibly known that!
"No?"
"Okay-"
"If you're gonna ask me what number you're thinking of dont bother."
"Why not?"
"Cos it's 69. Cos your a perv."
"Fuck off! Stop it Tilly, thats scary!"
She smiled. "I dont believe myself, because I know you two so it isnt fair."
Noel shot up. "Get your coat."
"I've pulled?" Tilly asked.
"We're going out. You can do it to someone else."
"Mum! I dont even know what it is yet!"
"You're a freak, get your coat."
*
"Think of an object in your mind." Tilly said quietly, sitting down on the nearest bench. "Dont tell me what it is. I'll ask you a series of questions, and you can only answer in yes or no questions, okay?"
The old man nodded.
Noel and Dave watched from the side lines.
"Is it bigger than a piano?"
"No."
"Let me see your hands."
The man showed her his hands.
Tilly looked back up at him. "Can you wear it?"
"No."
"Is it a rugby ball?"
The man smiled in shock.
"Was it?"
"Yeah."
"Excellent. Thank you." Tilly looked at her Dads, both staring at her open mouthed. "Satisfied?"
"I'm not." A voice came from the small croud that had gathered.
Tilly stood up and sat on the back of the bench and watched a tall black man step forward. "Alright." She told him. "You think of an object." She pulled out her sketchpad. "Write it down so you cant cheat."
He did.
"Fold it up. Give it to this lady here.. Dont show me. I'm going to ask you a series of questions, only answer yes or no, but not outloud. I want you to answer clearly in your head."
"Fuck off." Noel whispered.
Tilly blinked twice. "Is it larger than a tablespoon?"
The man did not react.
"Oh, could you shove it up your arse?"
Various people giggled, including her parents.
"Dont answer that... Does it smell?"
The man showed no emotion.
"If she gets this I'll give you £20 to run around the park with your trousers off." Dave whispered.
"If she gets this I'll do it for nothing." Noel whispered back, shaking Dave's hand.
"Is it something you wear?" She studied the man's face searching for something, anything, and found nothing. She smiled. "Its a mask."
The woman opened the paper and nodded. "Thats amazing." She turned it over.
Scribbled in black marker pen was 'A Mask'.
Dave looked at Noel and smiled. "That's my girl."
Noel shook his head. "I was joking."
"I wasnt."
*
"Why arent you at college?" Noel asked, throwing a satsuma at Tilly.
She tutted, and threw it back. "Study leave! Why arent you working?"
"Scripts done!" Noel threw the satsuma back at her.
Tilly picked it up and launched it at him. "I DONT WANT A FUCKING SATSUMA!"
"Alright! Calm it, Kermit!"
"Does that mean I'm gonna go see Grandmere soon then? If you're fucking off."
"Yeah, shes already baked you a cake." Noel smiled, throwing a piece of orange in his mouth.
"How'd you know?"
"Cos I spoke to her on the phone just now, mystic meg!"
"What kinda cake?"
"You can fuck off, you aint having it all. Me and yer dad are gonna stay the weekend too. Save flying there and flying back in a day."
"Only takes an hour."
"Yes Tilly, but its a piss take!"
"How long are you touring for?"
Noel shrugged. "I dont fucking know. 3 months?"
"I have to stay with Grandmere for 3 months?"
"Oi. My Nan is the coolest woman to ever walk this planet. I ask you not to be so slack jawed and ill mannered, would you rather stay with my nan or your nan?"
"Honestly?"
"Oh what, now you've got beef with my mum?"
"I havent got beef with anyone! Jeeze. Sorry N-Dubz."
Noel smiled and did a perfect impression of Dappy with a mouthful of satsuma. "Na Na Naiiii."
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no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 06:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 06:24 pm (UTC)UNEXPECTED!bollo
LOL
ANDANDAND
i wrote a fic AGES ago, i think it was Ville Valo or Johnny Depp or something, and they had a daughter and she ended up being a gifted child and could light herself on fire and stand in it for an hour and be fine.
i just like writing magic children :)
i thought tilly would be a good illusionist.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 06:27 pm (UTC)That was genius ;)
I was like "OMG IT'S BOLLO! -gasp- ... -double gasp- DERREN BROWN IS BOLLO?!?!?!"
Tilly would make a good illusionist! I imagine her chopping people up on stage in those box things.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 07:27 pm (UTC)"mother! trust me!"
"NO YOU'LL BREAK ME!"
i was msning my friend when he said 'man in a monkey suit'
and at the same time we both went "BOLLO!"
no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 08:20 pm (UTC)LOL
Fucking hell she's like....magic!
That's genius!
:)
Awww I like this story. :)
Which I've said so many times.
LOL The title made me think it was something kinky.
My mind is in the gutter....:P
no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 08:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 08:26 pm (UTC)i totally watched JLC after it!!
no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 08:48 pm (UTC)Ooo! I just remembered it's on tonight too! *Claps*
no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 10:39 pm (UTC)