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booshslashhavenTitle: I Caught Fire
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Noelian (who else?!)
Genre: RPS. Angst. Fluff. PWP
Word Count: 2798
Summary: Quiet ponderings in the dead of night turn into something much more... But how will Julian and Noel cope with this new revelation?
Disclaimer: Noel and Julian belong only to themselves. The events in this are entirely fictional; a product of my overly vivid, and mostly twisted, imagination. No harm/offence intended, and no money is being made from the writing of this.
Author Notes: Second chapter here, and we actually have some semblance of plot creeping in. Some angst for this part I'm afaid...
The first chapter was from Julian's pov, this part is from Noel's. The story will continue to swap pov with each chapter in that fashion, but that should be pretty clear as you read... This begins just before the end of chapter one.
One
He’d known it was a bad idea to come to Julian’s bunk tonight, when he was already feeling so tired and stressed and vulnerable. But he hadn’t been able to help himself; there was something about Julian’s presence that eased him, made him feel calmer and just… more himself somehow. There were times that the only place he could sleep was wrapped up beneath Julian’s covers, soaking up the other man’s warmth and letting it comfort him. Not that he’d ever told Julian that; he hoped he already knew.
“Fuck.” Noel swallowed thickly, eyes closing as he looked down at the tone in Julian’s voice. The bubble of emotion pushing up from his stomach was thick, making his throat constrict.
It was true what he’d said, there was no one else like Julian; no one else he could trust as much, no one else he cared about as much.
And then tonight, with the heat of Julian’s skin beneath his features, his closeness, the way Julian had looked at him, as if Noel were the most important person in the world; he hadn’t been able to stop himself.
“Yeah, fuck,” he whispered, looking up nervously, just waiting for Julian to send him away and praying desperately that he wouldn’t.
He’d always had feelings for Julian, been drawn to him since the first time he’d seen him performing on stage, seeing so much of himself in the manic, word heavy, and almost twitchy at times, comedian.
The hand cupping his face was unexpected, and he had to force himself to keep still, breathing heavy and irregular, ready for the gentle, but inevitable, rejection that he was sure was to follow.
Until Julian’s thumb swept across the curve of his cheekbone that was, and his eyes fell shut, pulse thick and rapid, and breath almost stilling as Julian drew him towards him.
Julian’s lips were warm against his, and a little rough, and it was far from perfect as they touched, awkward and more than a little unsure of themselves. But even so, it made his toes curl, and his stomach squirm, with the pleasure that only came with the getting of something longed for, for so long.
Breath catching in his throat, he let himself push a little more firmerly, ask for a little more, and he gasped, belly flipping as it was given to him immediately.
His hand, on Julian’s stomach, skin like fire beneath his palm, crept higher again, moving without his permission, fingers seeking out the planes of Julian’s chest of their own accord. Julian’s body was all hard angles and strong contours, muscles lightly defined, and twitching lightly as he ghosted his fingertips across them, exploring, eager-yet-cautious, ever mindful of treading too far across this thin, and thinning, line they were treading.
Julian gasped lightly as Noel touched a finger to his collarbone, brushing across it once, then returning quickly, eager to earn more of the same reactions from Julian. He got them, when Julian moaned softly, pushing forward, his own hand moving round to bury itself in Noel’s hair, tugging him up and off the pillow, forward towards Julian as he swept his tongue across his bottom lip.
Noel felt dizzy, the hand, that had been teasing the little dip of Julian’s collar softly, splaying across his chest to steady himself as Julian pulled him forward. Gasping, as little shocked tingles ran down the length of his spine before shooting back up again, and parting his lips in silent invitation, he moaned softly when Julian accepted it.
Julian tasted spicy, hot, and his breath was faintly minty as he opened up, pushing his tongue past Noel’s lips, flicking over his palette, pointed and gentle, before pulling back and running across his teeth.
It was unlike anything he’d ever experienced before, kissing Julian like this. Yes, they’d kissed, many times; drunken, affectionate pecks; kisses for the camera or the audience, but never anything like this before. Nothing this passionate or this intense.
The heat and need pooling in Noel’s stomach was almost unbearable, his whole body itching with a need to get closer to Julian. Julian seemed to share his feelings, as the other man twisted around, releasing Noel’s mouth with one last, gentle nip to his lower lip to manoeuvre them around, tugging Noel over to half straddle Julian, legs brushing together.
Noel swallowed thickly as Julian released his lips, running his tongue across them and feeling how wet and kiss-swollen they felt. He was breathing heavily, tension tugging at his stomach, eyes watching Julian intently, shivering slightly as Julian’s hand swept through his hair, his fingers soft as they threaded through it, making Noel shiver.
“Fuck.” Julian whispered for the second time, and Noel desperately wished he knew what Julian were thinking.
“You lost the power of speech?” Noel asked, trying to keep his voice light, teasing. “You said that before…” He knew an edge of worry had crept through though, from the slight tightening at the corners of Julian’s eyes as they crinkled in concern. The hand in his hair dropped lower to rub gently at the nape of Noel’s neck, making him close his eyes briefly in muted, anxious pleasure.
When he opened them, Julian was still staring at him, with the very same expression in his eyes that had started all this; a quiet, soft, yet intense, adoration, or at least that’s how it felt to Noel. A rapt attention that made his insides twist with both nervousness and thrill at being the one to draw that kind of gaze from Julian.
“Yeah, well, wasn’t exactly expecting this,” Julian said softly, but not unkindly, as his hand swept lower, rubbing at Noel’s shoulder now, and Noel felt the coil in his stomach tighten another notch.
The tension was palpable, almost at breaking point, as Julian shifted around to face Noel now. He gasped as Julian’s hand crept down, sweeping across the curve of his back, pressing along his spine through the thin material of his top.
“Me neither…” he spoke with little more than an exhalation of breath, unwilling to break the thick, cosseting atmosphere that surrounded the pair of them.
There was another moment’s silence, and Noel felt his heart rise up to his throat as the seconds seemed to tick by so slowly. Then, his chest seemed to lighten, tension swirling and breaking as Julian moaned softly, almost inaudible really, but seemingly loud against the stillness. His hand dropped to Noel’s back, dipping beneath the fold of his shirt and touching his skin, splaying across it possessively as he pulled him back down, burying his face in the crook of Noel’s neck this time, biting and licking lightly.
Noel felt shivers rack him as Julian’s leg shifted, twining it with Noel’s as he bucked up, his hardening length brushing Noel’s thigh through the layers of clothing. Noel gasped, pulling away to seek out Julian’s mouth with his, the kiss so much harder this time, fervid in intensity as he rubbed himself on Julian’s thigh, feeling spiked pleasure rushing through him.
He’d wanted this for so long, that it seemed almost surreal now that it was happening; Julian, hard beneath him, wanting him… He gasped, as their tongues pushed together, no hesitancy or timidity now.
Julian’s mouth was hard against his, demanding and forceful, and Noel found himself submitting to it easily, letting Julian dominate the kiss. His hands, large, and fingers slightly roughened from guitar playing, felt so good as they stroked across his skin, mapping the curves and angles of his back, his hips.
“Julian, please…” Noel heard himself whisper as they parted for air, his groin tight and aching, veins tingling with electricity.
Julian moaned again, low, and the sound shot straight to Noel’s dick, hands clenching in the pillow as he lowered his head, nibbling and sucking on the hollow of Julian’s throat, tasting the sweat that was beading on his skin.
It was frustrating, having Julian this close, but not being able to feel him properly. His dick was hard and aching in his trousers and he wanted free of the layers, wanted to feel Julian’s skin against his. He whimpered, biting down on the tender skin of Julian’s neck in his eagerness to taste him, and Julian groaned, hand clutching Noel’s back as he rolled them over to reverse their positions.
He gasped, feeling Julian’s weight on him as he pressed him down in to the mattress, thrusting slowly and deliberately against him.
“Fuck, Noel…” Julian moaned as he shifted, bringing their groins together and grinding against Noel, Noel whimpering in response as a shudder of pleasure swept through him.
Noel hissed, his hands reaching up to stroke along Julian’s back, firm, nails dragging across his skin as he shuddered and bucked.
“Didn’t think you wanted me…” Noel managed to choke out, words tainted heavily with lust, breathy and husked and almost reverent in tone. He swallowed thickly as Julian paused, looking at him carefully, expression unreadable, wondering for a second if he’d said too much.
“I didn’t… Fuck. Hadn’t thought about you like this before…”
“And now…” Something in Noel’s mind told him he shouldn’t have asked this, that he shouldn’t push Julian, should just be happy with what he was being given, but he couldn’t stop it; the question was past his lips before he could stop it.
Noel bit his lip, as Julian remained silent, just watching him with that same, indefinable expression on his face.
Finally, Julian inhaled slowly, leaning down towards Noel, and Noel’s breath caught in his throat, holding it in his lungs as Julian nuzzled at his neck lightly, before pausing to whisper husky words in Noel’s ear that almost undid him right there: “Yes. Fuck. Yes I want you now…”
Hands on his chest made him gasp, as Julian leaned back up, and he arched his back slightly in silent encouragement to Julian, arousal thrumming through him now. Julian just smiled at him, stroking a finger over his throat, slowly, catching the sweat that trailed along his skin. He lifted it then, trailing it across Noel’s lips and Noel’s breath caught as he eagerly opened up, drawing the digit inside his mouth and sucking on it fiercely.
Noel closed his eyes, as he tasted Julian’s salt-tinged skin, letting his tongue swirl around Julian’s fingertip, smiling at the little hissed-gasp the action earned him.
Impatiently, it seemed, Julian drew his finger free, shifting back a little as his hands once again roamed across Noel’s chest, fingers plucking at the buttons of his top this time, undoing them quickly. Noel gasped, head falling back as Julian leaned down to lap lightly at his skin as it was revealed to him, trailing lower, to his stomach. His breath hitched as he sucked in a shaky breath, feeling his dick twitch as Julian’s fingers strayed to the waistband of his pyjama bottoms.
“Oh god…” he moaned out, gasping and tilting his hips up as Julian lowered his hand, kneading at his length with his palm, through the cotton, almost teasing-soft. He could feel it building already, knew it wouldn’t actually take much more than this for him to come, and wanting to so much, but never wanting it to end, all at the same time; the thrill of this, of having Julian touch him finally, of hearing that he wanted him; it was all too much. He moaned again, letting his eyes fall shut and his head fall back against the pillow as he rocked his hips up, letting the sensations wash over him.
“Fuck, Ju… Please.” It was almost embarrassing how close he was, how quickly he was going to come, in his trousers like a fucking horny teenager, before Julian had even touched him properly… Would’ve been, f he wasn’t so wound tightly, too aroused to even care anymore. He bucked up again, moaning softly as Julian’s fingers stilled. “What? Ju?” His stomach rolled as he looked down, feeling his groin aching now, Julian was sitting, statue still, attention focused towards the curtain of the bunk.
“Shush.” Noel swallowed, nodding as Julian looked up at him, a finger on his lips to quieten him, looking tense. He strained then, trying to hear what it was that had made Julian stop, but there was nothing…
“Ju?” he asked again, lifting his head to look down at him, feeling anxious and edgy.
“Thought I heard something from one of the other bunks,” Julian explained finally, pulling his hand away from Noel’s groin and Noel immediately felt cold, biting his lip to suppress a whimper of disappointment.
“I can’t hear…” he trailed off as a cough sounded out, tensing as somebody shuffled in their bunk before the sound of footsteps treading softly up the corridor reached his ears. His pulse was racing now, as they neared them, but they carried on straight past Julian’s bunk though, heading towards the bathroom and a soft click of the door being closed followed. “Shit…” He groaned softly, dropping his head back down against the pillow in irritation at being disturbed.
Julian didn’t move from where he was sitting up slightly now, expression tense. A few minutes later, he heard the sound of the bathroom door opening and closing again, before whoever it was shuffled back down to their bunk again.
After a few seconds of holding his breath, Noel let out a soft sigh of relief as all went quiet again. Sitting up, he grinned at Julian, arousal mixing with the fear of, and relief at not, being caught, making his blood pound with adrenaline.
“That was close…”
“Yeah.” Julian smiled, tensely, and looked back down again, and Noel felt his stomach twist, sensing the change in atmosphere, the air around them thick with something other than quiet, buzzing arousal now.
“Ju?” he asked, quietly, biting his lip anxiously. “You alright?”
“Yeah. Fuck.” Julian shook his head, looking up, and his expression was definitely readable now and Noel felt his chest tighten and his heart sink at the regret he could read there. “No. What are we doing Noel?”
“I thought you…” Noel sighed, swallowing thickly and looking away. Julian looked confused, uncertain and tense.
Julian exhaled slowly. “I did, but this… We can’t. We shouldn’t. It’s wrong.”
“I’ll go back to my bunk then?” Noel knew he sounded annoyed, and he was, somewhat. But more than that he was upset, and it was the easiest way for him to mask it, not let his real feelings show. He’d never had to do that with Julian before, and that just made it even worse…
“Noel, it’s not…” Julian sighed as he shifted forward, looking frustrated at himself. “We’re at a hotel tomorrow night, yeah, we can talk then…”
“Yeah, sure.” Noel didn’t sound convinced, and he wasn’t. Sitting up, he gathered the opened sides of his top, tugging them together and wrapping and arm around his chest, feeling defensive. “I’ll just go, yeah…”
“Noel, don’t. Not angry, yeah?”
Noel sighed as Julian shifted forward, running his hand across Noel’s cheek. The touch just confused him even more though, and he pulled away, feeling shame and embarrassment prickle behind his eyes. “It’s okay, yeah, Ju. I’m not angry; I just have to go. You’re right; this is stupid.”
“Noel, I didn’t mean…” Noel didn’t stop to listen to Julian’s explanations though, not wanting to hear him try and placate Noel, as he was obviously about to. Quickly, and before Julian could argue or stop him, he slipped out the bunk as quietly as possible, not looking back.
He swallowed thickly as he climbed into his bunk, wriggling down into the covers and pulling them around himself tightly, trying to ignore the dull, unsatisfied aching in his groin that only served to remind him of the mistake he had just made. The worry and trepidation churning up inside him was making his stomach roll and twist uncomfortably, and he groaned as he sank down against the soft mattress.
It was clear to him that Julian didn’t want him; the look on his face when he had said it was wrong made that blatantly obvious. Now he just needed to think of something, anything he could say to salvage the situation, to convince Julian that it was a mistake on his part, that he didn’t mean it. Even though he did. It was worth it, if only he wouldn’t lose Julian’s friendship.
But then again, he had said he'd wanted Noel, husked it in such a fucking sexy voice... But had that all been in the heat of the moment? Or had he really meant it? Or maybe it was just the fear of being caught that had upset Julian, made him think too much about what he was doing and given the anxiety a chance to settle in...
Noel didn't know anything anymore. All he knew was that he'd wanted Julian for so long now, and that it had felt so nice to be wanted by him in return.
Sighing softly to himself, Noel buried his face in the pillow, knowing that he wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight though.
Feeling his eyes prickle, he closed them tightly, willing himself not to cry.
He’d known it was a bad idea to go to Julian’s bunk tonight…
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Noelian (who else?!)
Genre: RPS. Angst. Fluff. PWP
Word Count: 2798
Summary: Quiet ponderings in the dead of night turn into something much more... But how will Julian and Noel cope with this new revelation?
Disclaimer: Noel and Julian belong only to themselves. The events in this are entirely fictional; a product of my overly vivid, and mostly twisted, imagination. No harm/offence intended, and no money is being made from the writing of this.
Author Notes: Second chapter here, and we actually have some semblance of plot creeping in. Some angst for this part I'm afaid...
The first chapter was from Julian's pov, this part is from Noel's. The story will continue to swap pov with each chapter in that fashion, but that should be pretty clear as you read... This begins just before the end of chapter one.
One
He’d known it was a bad idea to come to Julian’s bunk tonight, when he was already feeling so tired and stressed and vulnerable. But he hadn’t been able to help himself; there was something about Julian’s presence that eased him, made him feel calmer and just… more himself somehow. There were times that the only place he could sleep was wrapped up beneath Julian’s covers, soaking up the other man’s warmth and letting it comfort him. Not that he’d ever told Julian that; he hoped he already knew.
“Fuck.” Noel swallowed thickly, eyes closing as he looked down at the tone in Julian’s voice. The bubble of emotion pushing up from his stomach was thick, making his throat constrict.
It was true what he’d said, there was no one else like Julian; no one else he could trust as much, no one else he cared about as much.
And then tonight, with the heat of Julian’s skin beneath his features, his closeness, the way Julian had looked at him, as if Noel were the most important person in the world; he hadn’t been able to stop himself.
“Yeah, fuck,” he whispered, looking up nervously, just waiting for Julian to send him away and praying desperately that he wouldn’t.
He’d always had feelings for Julian, been drawn to him since the first time he’d seen him performing on stage, seeing so much of himself in the manic, word heavy, and almost twitchy at times, comedian.
The hand cupping his face was unexpected, and he had to force himself to keep still, breathing heavy and irregular, ready for the gentle, but inevitable, rejection that he was sure was to follow.
Until Julian’s thumb swept across the curve of his cheekbone that was, and his eyes fell shut, pulse thick and rapid, and breath almost stilling as Julian drew him towards him.
Julian’s lips were warm against his, and a little rough, and it was far from perfect as they touched, awkward and more than a little unsure of themselves. But even so, it made his toes curl, and his stomach squirm, with the pleasure that only came with the getting of something longed for, for so long.
Breath catching in his throat, he let himself push a little more firmerly, ask for a little more, and he gasped, belly flipping as it was given to him immediately.
His hand, on Julian’s stomach, skin like fire beneath his palm, crept higher again, moving without his permission, fingers seeking out the planes of Julian’s chest of their own accord. Julian’s body was all hard angles and strong contours, muscles lightly defined, and twitching lightly as he ghosted his fingertips across them, exploring, eager-yet-cautious, ever mindful of treading too far across this thin, and thinning, line they were treading.
Julian gasped lightly as Noel touched a finger to his collarbone, brushing across it once, then returning quickly, eager to earn more of the same reactions from Julian. He got them, when Julian moaned softly, pushing forward, his own hand moving round to bury itself in Noel’s hair, tugging him up and off the pillow, forward towards Julian as he swept his tongue across his bottom lip.
Noel felt dizzy, the hand, that had been teasing the little dip of Julian’s collar softly, splaying across his chest to steady himself as Julian pulled him forward. Gasping, as little shocked tingles ran down the length of his spine before shooting back up again, and parting his lips in silent invitation, he moaned softly when Julian accepted it.
Julian tasted spicy, hot, and his breath was faintly minty as he opened up, pushing his tongue past Noel’s lips, flicking over his palette, pointed and gentle, before pulling back and running across his teeth.
It was unlike anything he’d ever experienced before, kissing Julian like this. Yes, they’d kissed, many times; drunken, affectionate pecks; kisses for the camera or the audience, but never anything like this before. Nothing this passionate or this intense.
The heat and need pooling in Noel’s stomach was almost unbearable, his whole body itching with a need to get closer to Julian. Julian seemed to share his feelings, as the other man twisted around, releasing Noel’s mouth with one last, gentle nip to his lower lip to manoeuvre them around, tugging Noel over to half straddle Julian, legs brushing together.
Noel swallowed thickly as Julian released his lips, running his tongue across them and feeling how wet and kiss-swollen they felt. He was breathing heavily, tension tugging at his stomach, eyes watching Julian intently, shivering slightly as Julian’s hand swept through his hair, his fingers soft as they threaded through it, making Noel shiver.
“Fuck.” Julian whispered for the second time, and Noel desperately wished he knew what Julian were thinking.
“You lost the power of speech?” Noel asked, trying to keep his voice light, teasing. “You said that before…” He knew an edge of worry had crept through though, from the slight tightening at the corners of Julian’s eyes as they crinkled in concern. The hand in his hair dropped lower to rub gently at the nape of Noel’s neck, making him close his eyes briefly in muted, anxious pleasure.
When he opened them, Julian was still staring at him, with the very same expression in his eyes that had started all this; a quiet, soft, yet intense, adoration, or at least that’s how it felt to Noel. A rapt attention that made his insides twist with both nervousness and thrill at being the one to draw that kind of gaze from Julian.
“Yeah, well, wasn’t exactly expecting this,” Julian said softly, but not unkindly, as his hand swept lower, rubbing at Noel’s shoulder now, and Noel felt the coil in his stomach tighten another notch.
The tension was palpable, almost at breaking point, as Julian shifted around to face Noel now. He gasped as Julian’s hand crept down, sweeping across the curve of his back, pressing along his spine through the thin material of his top.
“Me neither…” he spoke with little more than an exhalation of breath, unwilling to break the thick, cosseting atmosphere that surrounded the pair of them.
There was another moment’s silence, and Noel felt his heart rise up to his throat as the seconds seemed to tick by so slowly. Then, his chest seemed to lighten, tension swirling and breaking as Julian moaned softly, almost inaudible really, but seemingly loud against the stillness. His hand dropped to Noel’s back, dipping beneath the fold of his shirt and touching his skin, splaying across it possessively as he pulled him back down, burying his face in the crook of Noel’s neck this time, biting and licking lightly.
Noel felt shivers rack him as Julian’s leg shifted, twining it with Noel’s as he bucked up, his hardening length brushing Noel’s thigh through the layers of clothing. Noel gasped, pulling away to seek out Julian’s mouth with his, the kiss so much harder this time, fervid in intensity as he rubbed himself on Julian’s thigh, feeling spiked pleasure rushing through him.
He’d wanted this for so long, that it seemed almost surreal now that it was happening; Julian, hard beneath him, wanting him… He gasped, as their tongues pushed together, no hesitancy or timidity now.
Julian’s mouth was hard against his, demanding and forceful, and Noel found himself submitting to it easily, letting Julian dominate the kiss. His hands, large, and fingers slightly roughened from guitar playing, felt so good as they stroked across his skin, mapping the curves and angles of his back, his hips.
“Julian, please…” Noel heard himself whisper as they parted for air, his groin tight and aching, veins tingling with electricity.
Julian moaned again, low, and the sound shot straight to Noel’s dick, hands clenching in the pillow as he lowered his head, nibbling and sucking on the hollow of Julian’s throat, tasting the sweat that was beading on his skin.
It was frustrating, having Julian this close, but not being able to feel him properly. His dick was hard and aching in his trousers and he wanted free of the layers, wanted to feel Julian’s skin against his. He whimpered, biting down on the tender skin of Julian’s neck in his eagerness to taste him, and Julian groaned, hand clutching Noel’s back as he rolled them over to reverse their positions.
He gasped, feeling Julian’s weight on him as he pressed him down in to the mattress, thrusting slowly and deliberately against him.
“Fuck, Noel…” Julian moaned as he shifted, bringing their groins together and grinding against Noel, Noel whimpering in response as a shudder of pleasure swept through him.
Noel hissed, his hands reaching up to stroke along Julian’s back, firm, nails dragging across his skin as he shuddered and bucked.
“Didn’t think you wanted me…” Noel managed to choke out, words tainted heavily with lust, breathy and husked and almost reverent in tone. He swallowed thickly as Julian paused, looking at him carefully, expression unreadable, wondering for a second if he’d said too much.
“I didn’t… Fuck. Hadn’t thought about you like this before…”
“And now…” Something in Noel’s mind told him he shouldn’t have asked this, that he shouldn’t push Julian, should just be happy with what he was being given, but he couldn’t stop it; the question was past his lips before he could stop it.
Noel bit his lip, as Julian remained silent, just watching him with that same, indefinable expression on his face.
Finally, Julian inhaled slowly, leaning down towards Noel, and Noel’s breath caught in his throat, holding it in his lungs as Julian nuzzled at his neck lightly, before pausing to whisper husky words in Noel’s ear that almost undid him right there: “Yes. Fuck. Yes I want you now…”
Hands on his chest made him gasp, as Julian leaned back up, and he arched his back slightly in silent encouragement to Julian, arousal thrumming through him now. Julian just smiled at him, stroking a finger over his throat, slowly, catching the sweat that trailed along his skin. He lifted it then, trailing it across Noel’s lips and Noel’s breath caught as he eagerly opened up, drawing the digit inside his mouth and sucking on it fiercely.
Noel closed his eyes, as he tasted Julian’s salt-tinged skin, letting his tongue swirl around Julian’s fingertip, smiling at the little hissed-gasp the action earned him.
Impatiently, it seemed, Julian drew his finger free, shifting back a little as his hands once again roamed across Noel’s chest, fingers plucking at the buttons of his top this time, undoing them quickly. Noel gasped, head falling back as Julian leaned down to lap lightly at his skin as it was revealed to him, trailing lower, to his stomach. His breath hitched as he sucked in a shaky breath, feeling his dick twitch as Julian’s fingers strayed to the waistband of his pyjama bottoms.
“Oh god…” he moaned out, gasping and tilting his hips up as Julian lowered his hand, kneading at his length with his palm, through the cotton, almost teasing-soft. He could feel it building already, knew it wouldn’t actually take much more than this for him to come, and wanting to so much, but never wanting it to end, all at the same time; the thrill of this, of having Julian touch him finally, of hearing that he wanted him; it was all too much. He moaned again, letting his eyes fall shut and his head fall back against the pillow as he rocked his hips up, letting the sensations wash over him.
“Fuck, Ju… Please.” It was almost embarrassing how close he was, how quickly he was going to come, in his trousers like a fucking horny teenager, before Julian had even touched him properly… Would’ve been, f he wasn’t so wound tightly, too aroused to even care anymore. He bucked up again, moaning softly as Julian’s fingers stilled. “What? Ju?” His stomach rolled as he looked down, feeling his groin aching now, Julian was sitting, statue still, attention focused towards the curtain of the bunk.
“Shush.” Noel swallowed, nodding as Julian looked up at him, a finger on his lips to quieten him, looking tense. He strained then, trying to hear what it was that had made Julian stop, but there was nothing…
“Ju?” he asked again, lifting his head to look down at him, feeling anxious and edgy.
“Thought I heard something from one of the other bunks,” Julian explained finally, pulling his hand away from Noel’s groin and Noel immediately felt cold, biting his lip to suppress a whimper of disappointment.
“I can’t hear…” he trailed off as a cough sounded out, tensing as somebody shuffled in their bunk before the sound of footsteps treading softly up the corridor reached his ears. His pulse was racing now, as they neared them, but they carried on straight past Julian’s bunk though, heading towards the bathroom and a soft click of the door being closed followed. “Shit…” He groaned softly, dropping his head back down against the pillow in irritation at being disturbed.
Julian didn’t move from where he was sitting up slightly now, expression tense. A few minutes later, he heard the sound of the bathroom door opening and closing again, before whoever it was shuffled back down to their bunk again.
After a few seconds of holding his breath, Noel let out a soft sigh of relief as all went quiet again. Sitting up, he grinned at Julian, arousal mixing with the fear of, and relief at not, being caught, making his blood pound with adrenaline.
“That was close…”
“Yeah.” Julian smiled, tensely, and looked back down again, and Noel felt his stomach twist, sensing the change in atmosphere, the air around them thick with something other than quiet, buzzing arousal now.
“Ju?” he asked, quietly, biting his lip anxiously. “You alright?”
“Yeah. Fuck.” Julian shook his head, looking up, and his expression was definitely readable now and Noel felt his chest tighten and his heart sink at the regret he could read there. “No. What are we doing Noel?”
“I thought you…” Noel sighed, swallowing thickly and looking away. Julian looked confused, uncertain and tense.
Julian exhaled slowly. “I did, but this… We can’t. We shouldn’t. It’s wrong.”
“I’ll go back to my bunk then?” Noel knew he sounded annoyed, and he was, somewhat. But more than that he was upset, and it was the easiest way for him to mask it, not let his real feelings show. He’d never had to do that with Julian before, and that just made it even worse…
“Noel, it’s not…” Julian sighed as he shifted forward, looking frustrated at himself. “We’re at a hotel tomorrow night, yeah, we can talk then…”
“Yeah, sure.” Noel didn’t sound convinced, and he wasn’t. Sitting up, he gathered the opened sides of his top, tugging them together and wrapping and arm around his chest, feeling defensive. “I’ll just go, yeah…”
“Noel, don’t. Not angry, yeah?”
Noel sighed as Julian shifted forward, running his hand across Noel’s cheek. The touch just confused him even more though, and he pulled away, feeling shame and embarrassment prickle behind his eyes. “It’s okay, yeah, Ju. I’m not angry; I just have to go. You’re right; this is stupid.”
“Noel, I didn’t mean…” Noel didn’t stop to listen to Julian’s explanations though, not wanting to hear him try and placate Noel, as he was obviously about to. Quickly, and before Julian could argue or stop him, he slipped out the bunk as quietly as possible, not looking back.
He swallowed thickly as he climbed into his bunk, wriggling down into the covers and pulling them around himself tightly, trying to ignore the dull, unsatisfied aching in his groin that only served to remind him of the mistake he had just made. The worry and trepidation churning up inside him was making his stomach roll and twist uncomfortably, and he groaned as he sank down against the soft mattress.
It was clear to him that Julian didn’t want him; the look on his face when he had said it was wrong made that blatantly obvious. Now he just needed to think of something, anything he could say to salvage the situation, to convince Julian that it was a mistake on his part, that he didn’t mean it. Even though he did. It was worth it, if only he wouldn’t lose Julian’s friendship.
But then again, he had said he'd wanted Noel, husked it in such a fucking sexy voice... But had that all been in the heat of the moment? Or had he really meant it? Or maybe it was just the fear of being caught that had upset Julian, made him think too much about what he was doing and given the anxiety a chance to settle in...
Noel didn't know anything anymore. All he knew was that he'd wanted Julian for so long now, and that it had felt so nice to be wanted by him in return.
Sighing softly to himself, Noel buried his face in the pillow, knowing that he wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight though.
Feeling his eyes prickle, he closed them tightly, willing himself not to cry.
He’d known it was a bad idea to go to Julian’s bunk tonight…
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Date: 2009-02-03 08:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-03 10:23 pm (UTC)It was a bit tense, wasn't it!
Thanks love :D
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Date: 2009-02-03 08:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-03 10:24 pm (UTC)Thank you!
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Date: 2009-02-03 08:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-03 10:25 pm (UTC)Thanks as ever! Love you, too! <3
xxx
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Date: 2009-02-03 08:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-03 10:28 pm (UTC)Thanks you! <3
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Date: 2009-02-03 08:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-03 10:30 pm (UTC)Glad that Julian didn't come across as too bad in this chapter... We'll get to know more about him in the next part! And I'm pleased that you like it enough to think about it like that... :D And yeah, rl is a bit of a sod at times, I must admit...
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Date: 2009-02-03 09:28 pm (UTC)You made me tingle! TINGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Date: 2009-02-03 10:35 pm (UTC)Thank you! <3
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Date: 2009-02-03 09:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-03 10:36 pm (UTC)Glad you're enjoying it!
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Date: 2009-02-03 10:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-03 10:38 pm (UTC)Thank you, as ever!
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Date: 2009-02-03 11:12 pm (UTC)Looking forward to more (and am going back to read the rest of your fics!) :D
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Date: 2009-02-03 11:28 pm (UTC)(Do feel free to leave a comment if you like; it doesn't matter how old the fic is! ;D)
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Date: 2009-02-04 09:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-04 03:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-04 12:48 pm (UTC)This was just tooooo good.
Need some alone time now.
brb.
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Date: 2009-02-04 03:18 pm (UTC)Hopefully it'll be finished sometime this evening, maybe tomorrow...
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Date: 2009-02-04 03:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-04 07:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-04 01:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-04 03:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-04 06:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-04 07:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-04 09:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-04 09:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-05 09:49 am (UTC)